Good luck on Monday. Remember. we are all with you. Check in with us as soon as you can.

Shar

Oh I'm so glad they figured out what it was and can fix it without too much invasiveness. As I was reading your posts that's what came to my mind... a hernia. Just never heard of an internal one. Wishing you a speedy recovery! Let us know how the surgery goes. {{{hugs}}}

Sharra, I too am glad they figured out what it was. It's good to know this for future reference in case it happens to others of us. Who would have thought that getting thin would cause problems? ...Although it makes sense. Anyway, good luck with your surgery. Let us know how it went when you can. Marcia

I don't know if this applies or will help at all.. but I'll give it a shot. When I was a kid I made a promise to myself. I saw my older sister get her heart broken by many a guy and get pregnant many times and have many abortions. Because of the wounds she carried she got into drinking and eventually her life just continued to go down. I swore to myself that I wouldn't go down that road with her. So for my entire teenage and young adult years, I refused to kiss any guy and hardly dated. It was by choice, and not because I didn't have guys interested. But I stood firm. I closed my heart to anyone that wanted near it. I thought the safest way to keep my heart in one piece was not to kiss a guy till my wedding day. I know that seems a bit far out to most.. (but so does not eating chocolate for over a year!) Anyways.. I'm 22 years old and I meet Paul. (who has now been my husband for 10 years now). We where cuddling on the couch together watching a movie and he (without any warning that I could tell) kisses me. I totally go into a HUGE panic! I begin to cry and beg him to take me home. You would have thought I had just lost my virginity I was so hysterical! Panic isn't the word I felt.. my whole world crashed in around me. And Paul was so confused. I remember him saying.. "I kiss her.. and she cries.. this ISN'T how it's supposed to be!" So he takes me home and I'm up the rest of the night trying to process what just happened and why I felt the way I did. I realized that not only was I fearful of allowing myself to feel love, but also I thought that those feelings where the same as living the lifestyle my sister fell victim to. And I had put so much security in the fact that I have "Never" *insert action here*. Your success in weight loss is NOT because you have *Never*. It is because you are living a healthy lifestyle. Yes, there are triggers we all have to watch out for, and you have done a good job with that. It's not about *Never* but about the good choices you make. Ice cream is not something you deserve, it's just food. You deserve to be happy and feel secure and loved. Does ice cream bring that? (of course not) But maybe the ability to have some without panic is what you really deserve?? As far as the panic attack and melt down when it comes to picking the right one, I do relate because I tend to be a all or nothing type of person. Instead of just being careful with the guys I dated, I just didn't date! Instead of being careful with choices, you just chose not to choose. I know people who swear by that though and they have done quite well. But for me, there always seems to be breaking point with my all or nothing lifestyle. Sooner or later I have to face it. First, ice cream is just food. Not the best idea or choice, but your not going to 'loose your virginity over it'. lol (sorry if I'm taking the analogy too far!) Your not going to gain all the weight back or undo all the hard work you have done. Not unless you want to. Bad foods don't control you.. you do. Ice cream isn't evil, it's the bad habit of eating too much that is. I sure hope this has helped and I really wanted you to know I can relate a bit. I think your doing WONDERFUL and you deserve to feel great about that. Ice cream or not... just know that your a success and no bowl of ice cream can undo that unless you let it. -Shakeira

I have been 210 forever.. since before a year out. I've bounced up to 218 and got as low as 205 but never anywhere else. I don't eat much and keep my cals around 1200 a day. (some days a little more some days less) I also have about 40 lbs left to loose. I feel great though and even though I'm technically still obese, I'm still thankful for how far I've come. But hey, I would LOVE to loose the last bit and be 'normal' on the BMI chart. I'm with ya in the battle for sure, and your not alone! -Shakeira