I have to say I am having such a hard time adjust to people calling me skinny or saying omg u look so different it has just been the few weeks that this has come to light as being a lap bander i lost it so slow so it kind just slowly melted away my fat. but i must admit 30 pounds in last 2 mos has made a difference for people to notice. I cannot believe i am smaller, I still feel soooooooooooo fat. I am having serious doubts i will ever feel like I am smaller being. I saw one of the oncall docs and she had not seen me in probally 9 mos and she said omg u r soooooooo skinny now. I looked at her and said what r u smokin? When Iam nekkid it is so swful to see my self the way i look skin just handing down, For the first time I am experiencing  people taking me serious and not some dumb fat old  latina woman. I don;t get the pitty look people gave me as they saw this nearly 300 woman struggle to walk. I am not sure i can see my self as a thin woman. i still think of my self as a bbw so at what point do i call my self a avg woman or just plan over weight woman?
Like last year i had that look of terror to fit inside the class room Yesterday was open house and again I had that look of terror  when i saw desk/chair  combo and hubby just went down a plopped in chair and i was thinking now crap how man i gonna navigate around these people with my body. no one thought twice about my size.  Was like I was invisiable not some freak show trying to stuff my Body into a chair.I am worried i am not ajusting to my new body size.

Am I the only one still adjust to their new size 17 mos later?
Lisa

Hi Lisa, my heart goes out to you. I'm sure many of us can relate to your feelings of confronting a bad past. I too was molested, and the weight gain was my way of protecting myself. As I've lost weight I've had a hard time with appearing small and vulnerable. I don't know what I would do without therapy. Now and then it gets overwhelming, and like you, I have a meltdown, but then I pick myself back up and keep going. Congratulations on how far you've come! You should be very proud of yourself for having the courage to face these issues, and that you have found spiritual peace! Take care, Lisa-you are not alone in your struggle.