I am here

OK I have not posted in forever and I have not even been lurking. I just feel ****ty lately. I am working out everyday and mowing the lawn and keeping myself busy. I however am not losing weight, infact I am gaining. my thighs look so bad now with more and more hangging skin on my thighs. I don't even think I want to wear a bathing suit this year. The last time I got on the scale I weighed 231 my lowest weight was 209 right after the tummy tuck ,but that lasted only 1 day and creeped up ever since. I haven't even gone to my 2 year check up because I am too ashamed to see my surgeon.  I am now smoking again and I have not smoked it 12 years. I am self destructing. I hope this summer and actually getting some sun maybe just maybe I can get out of this rutt.
Sorry I am not around and Congrats to all you guys who truly took your tool and worked it!!!
dee

Dee, I am sorry you are having such a tough time.  I know what you mean about the sagging skin.  Even my calves are saggy.  I won't be wearing a swim-suit or shorts for that matter.  But after the skin has been stretched for 40 years, what do I expect.  Hang in there.  We are here for you.  Don't give up just yet.  And remember muscle weighs more than fat!    Jan

Dee I do think alot about you. I know u have got to be so discouraged with what your body is doing. I was the queen of self distruction and some days I cycle on that side myself and I have to step back and tell my self why am i doing this to my self. I go threw cycles and I need to find coping skills and adapt them to my evolving life of forever change. At least dee u are aware what is happening and that is key to getting on track and remember we all will be where u r someday our day  and is find we have gained weight back in fact I have not lost much from the weight i gained with the twins. I gained 9 and i feel sooooooooooo bad.. ugh I am fighting to keep in 160 but seems i gain lose gain lose  same damn few lbs over and over grrrrrrrrrrrr I keep bouncing btwn 167 to 171 getting old but it isa process and we all have to rmemeber that no matter what but sucess always comes after many failed tries. Hang in there
Lisa

Dee,
I am glad to see you. it's important that you stay with us. This is the hardest part of our journey. I can not lose any weight, no matter what I do. And I struggle to stay within a few pounds. I fluctuate about 3 pounds either way, but I am accepting that . When I think about weighing, just 2 years ago, close to 350 pounds, I am thrilled to be at 192-196. Don't be ashamed to go see Dr. F. You know he cares about his patients and he is there for you. Maybe you need a boost from him, to get you back on track. Give him a call and talk to him. We are all here for you.we love you, Dee, so please don't forget that.

Shar

Thanks you guys I think of you guys alot and I am so sorry I just can't seem to be on here as much. I just am just always comparing my self to everyone at as much as I am happy for everyones success, It reminds me of where I want to be and where I am. I am trying to find my way back. I am not buying another pack of ciggs so that will be a little bit of my control back. I will try to post more often i promis
hugs to all my girls
dee

Dee,
I am so sorry you are going thru this! Please know we are here and care about you so much! We all have been thru some tuff times and have made it. You should call the Dr.'s office and talk to them. It won't hurt.
If we can help in anyway....we are here! and will always be here for you! Remember...progress bot perfection!

Hi Dee,

Im sorry to hear that youre battling this again. Dont give up, please dont give up. You were such an inspiration to me while I was considering and weighing everything out. Im approaching 2 years and I notice that the wight is very difficult to maintain as time goes on, but so far I havent gained more than what was my goal weight. I know it wont last forever, but Im enjoying it while I can.

Please go see Dr. F, dont fall into avoiding him because I know from experience that it is a slippery slope. Once we start feeling ashamed and avoiding things, it can become a vicious cycle of guilt and self destructive behaviors. Personally, I have been battling the urge to drink again, or do other self destructive old habits. Its a battle every single day. But WE CAN do this....please dont give up!