Two years ago today....
Two years ago today, I was uncertain if I’d make it through the day. I wasn’t imagining my life after surgery, I wasn’t thinking how many children I would have, I didn’t wonder what my next exciting moment would be…. Because as far as I was concerned, none of that was even an option. I was going to die. And I had accepted it. My only option was to have surgery. I woke up, gathered my things, waited for my mom to come and pick me up to take me to Barix. The ride over was almost unbearable. No one really spoke too much. I was a complete bundle of nerves. I walked in the doors of Barix, silently, and my incredible journey and life finally began.
It wasn’t easy. It WAS hard. It WAS an adjustment. And it was all worth it. I made this change to myself, and I was willing to work my ass off to reap the benefits. I didn’t wonder when the next time I could have a burger, or some M&M’s would be… but rather how hard I was going to push myself in the gym that week. I exercised my butt off. Literally.
I lost the first hundred pounds fast. Three months in! No one really noticed though, which was discouraging. I guess at 400 lbs, it’s not as noticeable. I got a lot of “Hey did you get your hair cut?" or “is that a new outfit?" But I had the support of all my new-found friends very early out. It was so exciting to step on the scale every week and see a 5-10-15 lb loss!
The weight kept coming off, and people noticed me more, which forced me to fall into some sort of crazy depression/resentment phase. I was angry. I was still the same person I had been all along. Only my outsides had changed. Thankfully, I had many many people help me through this part of my journey. I also had a very hard time learning my new body. I didn’t recognize myself at all, and couldn’t see what other people saw. To this day I still have a hard time… but I’m coming into myself slowly :)
I did so many amazing things over these past two years. Shaving my legs without having to become a contortionist… riding roller-coasters at Dorney park… fitting into booth seats… shopping at normal stores.. Buying my absolutely amazingly beautiful wedding dress…. Watching my brother’s fiance give birth to my niece (the most perfect baby in the world by the way!) fitting in with a crowd of people and feeling “normal"…wearing shorts… having a normal BMI… Comparing my weight to bags of sand…Crossing my legs….buying cute bras that didn’t look like over-sized slingshots….and the most important of them being me allowing myself to open up, and meet my best friend in the entire world, and soul mate, Norm.
Today, I sit here… 154 pounds… I lost a total of 261 pounds. I went from wearing a 4x shirt to a S/M. and a size 34w Jeans, to an 8. I have not had any sugar intentionally in 2 years… I have planned my meals every day for the past 2 YEARS! I will never forget where I came from. I hold it dear to my heart, and will NEVER take it for granted. I will work hard every day to make sure I eat the right foods, and make sure my choices are wise. I will continue to exercise, because I know that I owe this to myself. I owe it to all of you as well….. I have done all of this. Me. I have accomplished my goals. (and every once and a while, Norm kicks my ass into gear when I’m slacking)
Today I sit here knowing that I’m getting married to the most amazing person in the entire world in a little over 2 months. That we WILL have children, and that I will be alive to see them grow, and see their children grow. I will have an excellent, and amazing healthy life with Norm, and all of our friends…… I WILL have a future and it will be because I made this decision to live. It’s been amazing 2 years, and I look forward to every day in the future with you all!
Thank you all for believing, encouraging, and pushing me over the past two years. I couldn’t have made it through this without all of you.
Much love....
Success is a journey... not a destination! 
Hugs
Lisa
