acceptance....

Acceptance.... I've been doing a whole lot of thinking over these past few months after my 1 yr. surgiversary. I've come to some conclusions.. and revelations! It's been anything but easy, and everyday I'm trying to really grow into myself. 1. I had a very hard time accepting things that can NOT be changed. I'm resisting what "is" based on what "was". I find myself dwelling on the little things about my body that I absolutely HATE. Not appreciating life, and enjoying the things that I love. I can't change the fact that over a year, I lost so much weight that my skin hasn't had a chance to snap back to where it's supposed to be. It may not ever. I need to accept it, embrace it, appreciate it, and MOVE ON. 2. I'm not who I think I am. I'm not the girl who couldn't walk up a flight of steps... I've worked my ass off, and achieved major successes, with many more to come. When I was pre-op, I found a few people on OH who I absolutely idolized. I wanted to be just like them. I thought they were perfect. Looking back... they prob. Were having the same problems with themselves that I am now. But from the outside, no one even sees the faults I see in myself. We have all grown up with certain comments and certain events that has given us this "image" of who we think we are. That image stays the same in our minds no matter what we look like in the mirror. I need to really listen to the compliments I'm receiving... and see myself as others do. I don't need to put stock in what I THINK others think about me, or will think, and focus on the constant... which is my own opinion. 3. I can't waste my time wishing I was someone else, or looked like someone "thinner" than me. Cause honestly, it's not going to happen. I am who I am. I'll never look like them, and nor should I want to. Then I wouldn't be a unique human being. Our uniqueness is our strength. We're not like thin people. We're better. Here's why: We've seen both sides of the spectrum. We know what it's like to be heavy.. we're learning what it's like to be thinner. How many people can say something like that? We'll always have that soft spot, and consideration for heavier people. It's something I never want to lose. You can certainly find inspiration in others, but why should we desire to be just like them? There's only one me in this world... don't we owe it to ourselves to be the best person we can be? We grow up thinking different isn't good, but in reality, our differences make us who we are. It seems the thinner you get the more judgmental of your body you become. Even with my flabby arms, and thighs, I'm different in an absolutely amazing way. I need to cheri**** The moment you start accepting yourself and be at peace with it, that's the moment where life starts to truly work for you. 4.Again, I've worked so hard to get myself where I am now... and instead of enjoying and loving life, I obsess over the little tiny faults. How crazy is that? I'm never going to be perfect, and nor do I want to be. The moment I become "perfect" in my own eyes, means there's nothing left to improve... I have nothing to take from any other person in the world. I never want that for myself. I want to constantly improve myself.. A little over a year ago, I didn't know if I was going to live much longer. Now... I'm getting married to my best friend in the entire world.. I know we're both going to be alive for a very long time, and we're going to have a family. Who could ask for more?

that was an awesome post!! I couldn't say it better. I am now trying to talk to myself in the mirror to tell myself you great so what if you are a big girl you are hott! I too have been nit picking my self apart but I am so much happier. I walk with a bounce now. I don't care if people look at me because I feel normal!. Congrats to you on all you have done and to your up comming wedding!!! dee

Love love love this post. It gave me alot to think about. I think we are finally realizing how much more our journey is than just about losing weight. I get really down about my excess skin and especially about the girls hanging so low and sad. I have always felt we were our own worse enemies. We can be so hard on ourselves. I think so much is related to feeling we were to blame somehow for our condition and the shame is very hard to let go. Great job for putting into words what I could not..

Oh my gosh Mary, that was so well put. I started reading it and kept thinking, I feel the same way. Thank you for writing it down and giving all of us so much to think about. Congratulations on your wedding. That is fantastic!!

It is a great post. Accepting who we are at any given moment is hard on the human psyche. We always think the grass is greener in someone else's yard. I am more grateful than ever in my life, and accept what it deals me and try to change what I don't like. I never thought losing the weight would make me "perfect" in any way, I already liked who I was, just not HOW I was. Now I am healthy, reasonably fit and expect to live out the rest of my life in a healthy, fit way. I can accept flappy arms and saggy thighs. I can't accept a saggy tummy or neck - hello Mr. Plastic Surgeon, we'll be meeting next year Best wishes on your upcoming marriage, it's not everyone that gets to marry their best buddy, you are a lucky one Inky

Not only is he my best friend... we met through this website lol he had surgery about 5 years ago.