Serious body dysmorphia, does it ever end?

I have seen some really honest and open posts on here from people, so I thought I would chime in. (Maybe feeling a little philosophical since I have been traveling out of country for 10+days in a land where I don't speak the language, but anyway....). I am HUGE. No, that's wrong. I am smaller than the average American woman (she is size 14, I am size 12). So why do I feel HUGE? Why do I swear that I am the most obese person in EVERY room that I enter? Why do I think that "I must weigh 100lbs more than her....." Why do I think that men are not attracted to me because of my weight? This is so messed up. I am going to seek help from a professional, but just thought I'd "check-in" with the A-team. Just make it go away

Jess, I have missed you so much. I am so glad to see you again. I know how you feel about the image. Sometimes I feel "normal." But then reality hits and I know I am still big. I am wearing size 16 and compared to a 34W, where I was a year ago, that is small. It's strange. At times I feel thin and normal, the next moment it's "no one loves me becasue I'm fat." I think we need time for our minds to catch up. How was the move? And the trip? Shar

Jessica it's sooooo good to "see" you again! I don't know why we do that. When I am out and about I am constantly asking my husband - was I that big? Am i bigger than her? What about her over there? Sheesh, I feel like a dork but I can't help myself. Sometimes it is like I am a lumbering giant out among other humans - and other times, I feel small. I don't know that it goes away, and I am really glad you plan to get help, we have a long road to travel still - getting the weight off seems to only be the beginning. hugs and get home safely, Inky

Jess, You look GREAT! I think it is noraml to feel the way we do. I look at my self and pick apart the areas that are not perfect and focus on them. I have to be very careful not to drown myself with pity like I use to. I feel and look so much better than I did a year ago and have come to the realization that: 1...I like who I am today 2...I am finally healthy (Did I forget the reason for this surgery) 3...TODAY, I am doing the bast I can (and it is working!) 4...I make me a Additude of Graditude List! 5...Be happy with who I am because I have cared e-nuff (lol) about myself to start taking care of ME and pamering ME. 6...ME is Important! 7...I must NEVER forget where I started from....How I longed to be this size and this healthy a year or two ago! Heck all my life! 8...I will never feel BETTER than anyone else just because I am smaller now. I will always feel the pain for large people! My heart breaks when I see a large person struggling just to walk. 9...When I humble myself, I find the real me! 10..Try to compliment someone (other than myself) at least once a day! AND RULE #11....NEVER, I repeat NEVER compare myself to another person! NEVER!We all struggle with our outward appearances and thank goodness we have each other to lean on and for me, I have to be pulled back into check routinely! Huggs, Rhonda

So glad so many od you decided to come back and check in.. I was cleaning out my closet of clothes and alot of it is speigel fat clothes and really nice clothes but to big for me and was hard to let go of them my first time around so this week they went into a bag. I was talking to my friend and I said to bad your wife could not enjoy my clothes I have tossed out and he said Lisa my wife is so much bigger than u ever were, she would not fit the size 20's and I laughed and said I have 28 clothes and he just said OH lol . he said you look much nicer than my wife does been hard to see her in your old clothes and not mess my psychie LOL. I have hard time sinking in I can wear size 14 clothes. Now when I go shopping I start at size 20 not size 26 and go down from there. I have the same issues of feeling like I am still 295 lbs. but some where I know their is a skinny behage dying to get out .. No more shoving food to keep her quiet. I choose to live.. Lisa

I was standing in line the other day at a restroom. There was a girl in front of me who I would have thought was half my size and one behind me who I thought we were about equal. I looked up at the mirror, which before I would never have done because I didn't want to see how much smaller the girl in front was. To my unbelievable shock, I was smaller than her. I didn't even recognize myself for a moment. It's unbelievable. I have noticed that when I look down at my body I still see myself as the large person that I was because I'm still built the same proportionately. My hips still look wide and my thighs still look like tree trunks. For me, it seems to be a perspective thing.

Well, it doesn't help that you were in Japan, surrounded by all of those slender, petite people! I lived for several years in Brazil, and was at my current weight and even 20 lbs lighter than this for a while, and was still always the fattest person around. People would constantly comment on how fat I was, even at my thinnest-ugh! I had to get custom-made bathing suits and dresses there, because nothing in the stores fit me. An American friend of mine came to stay with me for a year-she is a size 4-6 here and in Brazil could only squeeze into size XL clothes. Americans are just bigger than much of the world! I totally know how you feel about feeling like the fattest one around, although of course we aren't any more. One thing that helps is that my husband (of 4 days-it feels very weird to write that, LOL) sometimes outlines my hips or waist with his hands, then has me step away and look back, to show me exactly how much space I take up. I'm always surprised by how small I am now. I've tried to get him to show me people who are my size as they walk by, but he's too terrified he'll give the wrong answer, so that hasn't been very successful. Have you seen that show "How to Look Good Naked"? One exercise Carson has the women do is to stand or lie down against a big sheet of paper while a friend traces your outline. Then, you can see what size you really are. I know you're in a new city, so it might be hard to do that, but maybe you could take one of your more fitted outfits and trace it? Other than those ideas, I'm thinking that this is all normal and it takes a very long time to get used to our new selves. Hang in there! Oh, and men ARE attracted to you-you just aren't noticing because you aren't used to it. Men are always looking-it's what they do. And, you are very pretty and you dress in a feminine way, so you can be sure they are noticing. I was thinking the same thing about myself, but Tom told me that guys are always checking me out now! I couldn't believe it and thought he was joking, but he said that everywhere we go now I'm getting looks. Who knew?