long time no post

hi guys I know I haven't been on for a long time but I've really had a hard fall & winter. I pretty much gave up on my postsurgery diet and stuff. I don't know what's wrong with me but am going to a counselor so hopefully that will help. I pretty much have my pouch stretched so I can figure cuz I can eat pretty much what I want in like normal amounts. winter is always bad for me, my depression was crazy its gotten better but still there. I haven't even gone back to see my surgeon cuz im so embarrassed and ashamed. I've been the same weight for months, just gaining and losing the same 10-15 lbs, I'm trying to get exercising more but its not really working. I just dont know whether to just give up, if its even worth it now or not. I hope everyone else is doing really great.

Wow Wynette, I am so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. It is good that you are seeing someone to help you through this. I hate to see you just give up. This is a lifestyle change and the surgery is a tool. How we choose to use that tool is up to us. I can see how easy it would be to just slip and get back into those old habits. Hang in there. Jan

i just figure its pointless now, that i've undone the surgery or the tool that everyone calls it, so what's the point?? I wasted thousands of dollars and my surgeons time and everyone else's. im just gonna be fat forever and I have to find a way to accept that.

I went to a obesity help seminar in las vegas and they were talking about people like u where the surgery perhaps was not 100% sucessful and u do have options.You did not state if u lost the weight u needed and just gain a few lbs back. Some people got a lap band after a RNY and their was another procedure they can do for RNY who have streched their pouch out. Not all docs do it or even aware their are other options for post RNY.I hope this gives u some hope and good luck and always keep in touch with your doc as obesity is a life long fight.. this surgery is not a cure all only a tool. I choose to be a LAP BANDER because I never feel hunger and I DID SUFFER from bolimia so if I had the RNY I would have probally streched my pouch out for sure. Seems my wiring is messed up when it comes to feeling full. My pouch is still 3 oz size 1 year post but what is different is the rate it flows out of my stomach is control with the tighting of my lap bander. U have options .. all is not lost .. I had to come to terms why I was obese and to me it was a form of self torture and all the sexual abuse I encountered as a child and a teen.. and as long as I became fat I thought I was safe guarding from being raped and stabed by knife point again or molested again. Today I have men hitting on me and it was frecking me out and I had to come to terms and enpowered myself with strength and courage to not live in the past and see my self as a beautiful woman worthy to be thin and I refuse to be a victium anymore. When I took back my power and realized any woman fat or skinny could be raped. Just figured I can move faster being thinner.. Fat is not armor I learned. BEST OF LUCK Lisa

Hey Lisa, I was just going through these posts I had and I wanted to tell you, reading that "fat is not armor" is EXACTLY what I needed to see today. Thank you!

It's good that you are going to a counselor, Wynette, and I am so sorry you are going through this. Please don't be embarrassed or ashamed to see your surgeon. You aren't the first person to go through this and they really can be of help to you. I don't believe your pouch is stretched beyond all hope, I really don't. It's spring now and summer is looming, you've made great steps in getting the counselor, now make your one year appointment and go forward, all hope is not lost for you, i really believe that. Don't give up, we're here for you and us long-term losers want you to keep coming and posting, good or bad!! It's the hardest part now that the first year is over, let's stick together! Inky

Hi Wynette, I'm soo sorry to hear you are having trouble. It's never too late and you are worth the effort. Going to a counselor is the best first step and making an appointment with your physician is the second step. Guess what, you aren't going to be the first or last patient who struggles - they've seen it before - and will know what to do to help you. I had my surgery on 4/24 and I still log my food daily on sparkepeople.com - good or bad but it really keeps me accountable. My exercise physiologist says that we under estimate how much we eat by at least 25% so tracking it is critical. I would recommend tracking your food so you know where the 10 - 15 pound yo yo is coming from. My physician's office also provided the RMR testing to you know how many calories your body burns a day which then tells us how much we need to eat to lose. For me - this has been key to losing. I've lost 120 pounds with 17 more to go and I haven't been perfect. I still make mistakes, get off track, but something I do differently - it's getting back on track so I don't snowball like I did before. I'm also going to saying something that's not popular but here goes...when you can't do everything, stick with the basics - good sleep and watch what you eat. When I'm not exercising regularly I really watch what I eat - and it works. You don't have to do everything perfect. There is hope Wynette and you are not lost. Here's a poem that a friend of mine in my local support group shared (and I think she got it off this website) but I thought it might speak to you. Peace! Susan If you've started out in pursuit of your goal And you've really tried with your heart and your soul, but somehow things got out of control--- START OVER. When you've tried your best to do what you should And you thought this time that you surely would, But once again, you didn't do good--- START OVER. When you've worked so hard to follow a dieters way And you fought to win a victory each day. But one more time you went astray--- START OVER. When you've tried so hard to yourself to be true And do the things that you know you should do, But once again you failed to come through--- START OVER. When the road to success seemed much too long And each temptation was oh so strong And once again you gave in to wrong--- START OVER. When you've told your friends what you planned to do And trusted them to help you through But soon discovered it's up to you--- START OVER. When you know you must be physically fit, But your hope seems gone and you're stuck in a pit That's not the time for you to quit--- START OVER. When the week seems long and successes few And at weigh-in time you're feeling blue, Remember tomorrow is just for you--- START OVER. To start again means a victory's been won And starting over again means a race well run And starting over again proves it can be done So don't just sit there--- START OVER ~~ Author Unknown ~~

Wow-what a neat poem. I think we all struggle at some point. I'm with Inky, the portion of the stomach that is left is very tough to stretch. I still think you can make it work but I agree that the best solution is to learn and work thru your issues and then you can make it work. Best of luck to you!