You guy's are the best !

Thanks for all the messages. The encouragement, the support, and yes- the kick in the pants, were all needed. I quess I've been battling the blues (or maybe just enjoying a good pout). I'm still having a hard time getting my head around all the changes that have happened in my world this year. The weight-loss has been a gift straight from heaven. I can't imagine being this healthy, or looking this thin, in the relatively short time since surgery. That being said, I feel like I'm blowing it- on so many levels. My old eating habits are creeping back in. Chocolates, pastries, and even fast food. I'm ashamed of myself. I feel like I'm squandering the best gift I've ever been given- my health. All because I can't control what I shove in my face. I'm not really gaining weight, but I know it's just a matter of time. It's like I'm testing my boundries. I can eat pretty much anything without reprecussions. No dumping or discomfort of any kind. However, I can't really overeat without a dumping episode. I ordered steak and lobster Saturday night. Ate the lobster, the baked potato, the bread, and about a third of the steak. Washed it all down with 2 beers. I felt like a ***** in church. I really don't want to return to this gluttony, but damn-it, I still enjoy it. I'm just a basket case mentally right now. Anybody else? I don't mean to bring you all down, but, I quess, I just needed to confess my sins. DD

DD, it is SO great to see you here! Man, I am right there with you. I started eating fast food and crappy empty calories and enjoying ****tails too, and I hate myself for it. I keep trying to remember how desperate and afraid I felt at my heaviest, and I don't want to waste this opportunity, either. I think that "testing boundaries" is a normal part of the process for some of us. I still have a hard time not drinking when I eat, and I am terrified that I've stretched out my stoma and squandered the surgery even though I risked my life for it. I am so impressed with how well many of the A-Team are doing-sometimes I worry that I'm the only one being "bad", so it is somewhat of a relief to see that I'm not alone. Let's use this New Year to get back on track and take control of our health and eating habits! We've come so far, and are feeling so much better now, that we should be able to do this. The hardest part is behind us!

my name is sharyn and im a food addict. Yup...i too have been testing my limits David and it sucks to say the least! I know i havent gained weight YET, but i also have stopped losing weight as well. I know it is because i am losing the battle to some of my favorite foods that i had hoped and prayed would make me sick if i ever tried to eat them. no such luck im afraid. I joined the gym and im going to do my best to get more active and try like hell to get back on track before its too late. Guess what David. Tomorrow is a Brand New Day We can do this!! One Day at a Time Im on my way now to a support group meeting. I think this will help ....do you have one in your area? Please check into it, but if not....know that we are here to support one another. Dont disappear during the tough times David, cling to us even more during those times!!! We love you and we are all in this together.....One damn bite at a time! (((((((((hugs))))))))))

DD, you are not alone in this. I too am stepping back into hold habits and it's showing by not losing much in December. I am glad you are back here and it's time to put it behind us. We know what we need to do and get back on track Good luck buddy, and we're right here with you. Inky

SO glad to hear from you. I have done a LOT of thinking lately about the impact this surgery has had on my life and how it has changed things. That being said-there are many things it did not change. I still get hit with the urges to eat stuff I shouldn't. I have not indulged in the sweets-I was such a sugar junky that it just plain scares me to death to even try and worse case scenario-find out I can have sugar without dumping. That would be very very bad for my recovery. I try really hard to find an okay way to have a healthy version of these foods. All that being said, I really believe now that losing the weight was the EASY part of this journey. Dealing with all of life's issues and my own mental and physical self destructiveness makes the rest of my life hard. Our program teaches about the success habits we need to develop to make this surgery work for us. I keep talking about accountibility-not to preach to you all but to keep reminding myself. Since I can no longer eat my way to self medicate from the hurt and stress I have now gotten an ulcer. Not an acceptible option by any means(I don't recommend it!). LOL. This board is my everyday-every moments lifeline. When things are bad I can come here and people will understand, when things are good-I have people that truly understand what an accomplishment it was. Use this board for the fantastic resource it is. Know that none of use are alone. We are all struggling with some thing or another. We will find a way to succeeed-together!!

I couldn't say it any better than these ladies have. I think we have all fallen off the wagon to some degree or other. But it is never to late to back to the basics and start fresh. Hang in there and we are all here for you.

DD, You are not bringing me down at all! It is good to hear you back on the Ateam board. I too am having trouble with eating the wrong things. I love wheat thins, crackers, and chocolate, and well, all the bad stuff and I haven't been dumping either. I still get some distress with different foods, so I do get some repercussions, but this is usually with hard lean proteins/meats and not with sugary carbs! So those crunchy crackers and stuff are awesome and well, easier to tolerate. Although not good for me. I am a food addict too. I guess many of us are. And, I still don't like exercising AT ALL. Everyday is a stuggle. Maybe we need a little testing the waters, so to speak, to learn how to get back on track and how to find a way stay on track for the long run. I don't think staying with a perfect diet or perfect exercise routine everyday is real anyway. I truly believe that success without some struggle will not teach us much as success that we have to work for...at least for the long run. Tomorrow is a new day. I keep telling myself this one everyday. Take care, Keep in touch. Dianne C.

ok Now I feel better DD you are a major part of this team and you know what we all love who you are and when we struggle so do you and when you struggle we do. I needed you to see that you are just like everyone here. And I wanted you to know that we Need your sense of humor. Like many people have said it is not the same without you. Well steak and lobster....you little...NOOOOOOO Hey we have to eat and you have been good for soo long ....So just get prepared and jump back in... Well I want to confess I was a real ***** a couple days ago...lol.....Well some people might say everyday....lol.....Thank you all for your help getting DD to come and talk with us....

Hey, DD and everybody else who has responded - I'm in there with you. It's been too easy, and I have been eating stuff I'm not supposed to eat either. Chocolate during Christmas, crackers, chips, the "bad" stuff that tastes SO GOOD and being what we are eating has always been a pleasure for us. Maybe it's something psychological that hits food addict/WLS patients after 9 months - we've had the high of losing weight and having our Wow moments, we are settling into our new weights, and we are starting to take things for granted, and maybe we're a little bored with what we are having to eat. Or maybe the Christmas season has something to do with it - there's too much that is tempting being presented to us and shoved at us and put down in front of us, and, being human beings, we succumb to the temptation. Or because Christmas is Christmas, with its attendant childhood memories and adult expectations and sometimes disappointments - as well as the stress we encounter getting ready for it and having to prepare for Santa Claus/relatives' visits, maybe the pressure is too much for us, so we cope the way we've always coped. In addition, one of my precious cats left home and hasn't yet come back, so I'm fighting the emotional eating... (Non-Christians, not meaning to leave you out of this...I don't know if you have the same issues with your particular end-of-year winter solstice celebrations of Light...or maybe we're all in the SAD dumps because the days are short and cold?) Thank goodness for the joys of the holiday season, and thank goodness it's over. Back to the gym. Back to the discipline. Back to remembering how much I've spent on smaller clothes and remembering I've given away all the fat clothes and how much better I feel - I AM NOT GOING TO BLOW THIS. And I have found myself a little *****ier than normal, too. So, no, you're not alone, all you A-team sweeties. And I've missed your jokes, DD. Marcia

DD I know exactly what you are going through. I swing between not eating enough to eating all the wrong things. Not to mention I have been smoking and drinking from time to time. I feel awful and need to mentally get back in the game. How does a person truly find a way to get over this behavior? For good?