Yipee!

I went clothes shopping today and bought all size 4 slacks and size S shirts. Its been many years since ive seen a size 4 ! It felt really good but i dont see that when i look in the mirror. I still see someone much bigger and i dont quite understand that. Its odd because just the other day my very thin girlfriend was complaining of gaining some weight recently and happened to mention in the conversation that she weighed herself and was at 130lbs. Apparently she gained 10lbs and was wanting to work on that. It blew my mind away because we are the same height and i always considered her to be too thin....i often worried about her weight and being so tiny....and here i was listening to her and thinking that there is no way i can be the same weight/size as her! ...so i told my husband what she weighed and i explained to him that there is no way i can weigh the same as her because she is so skinny. He looked at me and said, "sharyn....you are the same size as her and you ARE skinny" ....it totally blew my mind. There's no way i see myself as her size. Why is this?? Why do we see the big fat girl in the mirror?? Why are we so sick? Were we always made to believe we werent good enough or pretty enough growing up as children? Are we doing this to our children??? God i hope not. Im going to make a conscious effort to be more careful what i tell my children regarding their looks from now on. Its so sad . We're our own worse enemy and no matter how much weight i lose i still see ugly fat and all the imperfections. Why cant i be happy? Why do i pick at myself and "if only" i had a flatter tummy, or "if only" i had that mole removed, or "if only" i could get my breasts lifted a bit..............ugh. its sickening. The sad thing is i can recognize how horrible this is but it still wont stop me from pointing out all my flaws the next time i look in the mirror. Anyway, this post was suppose to be a happy one. It felt good to get into a smaller size ....and i know you all know how wonderful that feels each time you move down a size but as i began writing i realized that i could be a size 0 and i still wont be happy with what i see. Maybe i need to start working on the inside of Sharyn....and forget about the outside ?? hmm....just a thought. love you all ....hope this new year is filled with much love and happiness all year through!! (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

Hey Skinny. It takes a while for our minds to allow our eyes to see the new person. Having never been through that ,and I hope some day I will, I have heard that so often. But, like you said, let's celebrate the wonder of it all.

Thank you for your support Shar, you are always there for us with an encouraging word....THANKYOU!! It truly does mean so much. p.s. you're looking great!!!!

I love this post! I can relate to it very much. I will never be a size 4 (I'm 5'9") but at Christmas time I got a Eddie Bower sweater from my mother in law and it was a XL. I held it up and my heart sank, it looked so tiny and those old emotions starting working their evil in me. I was encouraged to try it on and face my fear of it. lol So I took it into the bathroom and put it on...and it fit with room to spare! I still hold it up wondering how in the world I did this magic trick. I was wearing 5x tops before this surgery and size 28 pants... and my brain is still there. I'm scared I'm not loosing enough weight since I haven't hit 100 lbs lost since surgery like everyone else here. I always swore I wouldn't be one of these people that can't see their own reflection properly.. but there is really nothing I can do about it, but wait it out.. and measure my success by my protein intake, exercise, and water levels.. and not just size and scale. I want a lifestyle change most of all... right? I also want to feel comfortable in my own skin. -Shakeira

SIZE 4 you blow me away!!!! Congrats to you SKINNY MINNIE!!!! WOW You go!!!! dee

You look fantastic!! I will never get to a size 4 either, but I have to admit, I still see me as fat sometimes when I look in the mirror. Every once in a while I will catch a glance of this thin woman and go wow! When I shop I find myself holding tops up and thinking this looks so small it will never fit. I also am use to buying 3 and 4x tops. I can now wear a 16 and a size 14-16 pants. I think it is going to take longer than 8 months to get our minds in sinc with the rest of us. Everyone here has done such a fantastic job with their weight loss and we all look so amazing. And I am so proud of everyone that made the decision to change their lives forever!! We are definately the A-TEAM!!! And for the first time in years, my NEW YEARS RESOLUTION will not be going on a diet to lose weight!! HPPY NEW YEARS TO ALL MY A-TEAM FRIENDS Jan

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and support. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

wow a size 4 I am so proud of you,,,As for that darn mirror I think I have the same one. For so long we had people look down their noses at us that is why I think we still can't see it. But also this change has happened so fast.

OMG-size 4?!!! That is incredible! You should be so proud of yourself! I know what you mean about the mirror-let's face it, nobody can possibly be fat or even chubby if you are in a size 4, right? I think it takes our minds a longer time to catch up with our bodies that we expected, with such rapid weight loss. I still can't believe my reflection sometimes, thinking I look SO good, but other times, even on the same day, I'll think I look just as fat as ever. It's really a shame that we can't see ourselves as we are and love ourselves more! I feel like I "wasted" my thin years by hating myself. In high school I was very athletic, with a flat stomach and toned body, but I thought I was a fat cow. I would kill to have that body again! I have vowed to not "waste" this weight loss-I am trying my hardest to love my body now-it's not easy and I have to constantly practice telling myself how good I look, but I think that it's bound to eventually sink in! We can do this!