It can't get any WORSE.......can it??

Well for inquiring minds that wanted to know.......I'm basically losing my SANITY over here!! So.....I got out of the hospital on Sunday night. They left my PICC line in place which is a good thing. How twisted is that that I think leaving a PICC line in is a GOOD thing?? LOL Oh well........it is good for me NOT to get poked 75 thousand times EVERY time I go to the hospital!! Well, I went to the pain management clinic on Monday morning. They were surprised by the amount of Dilaudid I was on. They said that was "A LOT" Well no crap.......that was kind of why I was there..........LOTS of pain! They decide to put me on a 50 mcg/hour Fentanyl patch (I think that was the dose). They also gave me like 5 doses of 12mg each of Dilaudid for me to take until the patch kicks in, which they said would take anywhere from 8-10 hours. My hubby got my patches and I had one slapped on my arm at 1:00 that afternoon. I only ate one meal that day because I didn't end up getting up til like 5:30 that evening because I was wiped from all the pain meds and nausea meds I got in the hospital. Well so yesterday I don't even wake up til like almost 4:30pm and I woke up because I tried to roll over and got this MASSIVE stabbing pain in that old g-tube site. No.......that pain has STILL not gone away yet. So I called the surgeon's office to see what to do about this pain because that's what he TOLD me to do. First the PA calls and says they can't do anything because they aren't allowed to prescribe me anything while I'm going to pain management. I proceeded to tell her that my surgeon told me to call if I came home and still had this pain and if the stuff that pain management gave me wasn't working. So she called him back and he said that he was going to do surgery but there were no slots available for this week. He also said to give it a couple days and see how I feel by the end of the week and that he would get me in next week for surgery. Well holy Hannah! Isn't that what I was in the hospital for LAST WEEK??? I'm SOOOOOOOOO tired of being sick and tired. How much more do folks think I can take????? I mean my gosh, I ate TWICE yesterday and only had about a bottle and a half of water! And this is healthy HOW??? I'm SURE tomorrow I will only eat once because I have ONE more dose of Dilaudid left. This Fentanyl has NOT been working. Tried just now with a swig of water that hurt like a son of gun!!! I have to call pain management today and tell them that this stuff isn't working. Gosh why can't they dang well leave me on what we know works and just leave me be??? Shoot if they don't want to fix me or can't fix me or whatever, just leave me on what works for crying out loud. I'm missing out on EVERYTHING in my life.........I'm behind on EVERYTHING. I'm trying to be a successful wife, mother, student........everything and I can't be ANYTHING right now except an in pain INVALID! I'm TIRED of it! I HONESTLY don't think I can take anymore. I want my LIFE back, I want my health back and honestly, at this point, it doesn't feel like ANYONE cares to help me GET it back! Sorry for the rant. I'm just at my 25th breaking point and can't take this anymore! Sorry I haven't been around to offer my support! I do care about you guys!! Allie

We love you Allie and I am praying for you everyday. Something has to give pretty soon. Keep ranting on here if it helps, just remember that we are all here for you. Im so sorry that you are going thru this and that you are in so much pain all the time. If there is anything that I can do, let me know. Cindy

Gosh Allie, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going thru. I would be beside myself by now... begging them to put me in a coma until they are sure I'll wake up pain free. Just doesn't seem right that you've had so much trouble. I sure as heck hope this doc fixes you once and for all next week and you can get on with your life. If after this surgery you are still not well, I would definately raise bloody hell throughout that doctor's office and demand they refere you to someone who can fix you! I will continue to keep you in my prayers hun. Thanks for keeping us posted. Sending hugs your way, Lisa

Allie I am so sorry that you have to go through all this and I do hope that they can help you sooner than later....Hang in there and just know that we the A-team are here for you and you are never alone.

rant and vent away, Allie. I cannot imagine going through what you are experiencing, and I wish I could do something. please please please get another opinion, just for your sanity, to make sure your surgeon is doing all he can. hugs, Inky

What kind of surgery is your doc planning next week????? Please, get another opinion. This crew hasn't done a damn thing for you. There is no reason for you to be suffering this long. Be pro-active. Hard as it might be, you need to be your own advocate. Call another respected surgeon ASAP. We're all with ya, always. Shar

To remove the supposed scar tissue that is causing me so many fits at the place where my G-tube used to be. Should've done that while I was in the hospital last week!!! Grrrrrr!!

Allie, sorry you are having such a hard time. I really hope they hurry and help you to get some relief. You have gone through so much in such a short time. I will continue to pray for you and hope that you get some relief and soon. Roz

Allie, I am so sorry that you have been having such a hard time. You are surely in my prayers. Tracey

What the hell??!! Nobody should suffer like this. Its crazy. Im so sorry Allie. Please take the advice of others and get another opinion. Its just ridiculous. ugh.