What is WRONG with my LIFE???

It's happening AGAIN and I need to vent. It really seems like my "friends" and other people in my life want to knock me down a peg or two or discourage me... Another wonderful friend of mine threw a comment out there last night in the middle of our conversation ... "if normal people ate as little as you did they would starve to death"... It seems as though she throws comments out there trying to call me out to debate the choices in my life? Is this even true? And who is she to say that I am no longer a normal person? Between my boyfriend and friends being so discouraging- this is really hurting me a lot. I know that the easy solution would be to dis-associate myself from anyone with anything negative to say; however, if I do that, I am going to have to commit to being very lonely for a while. It seems like everyone has comments to make. Input is WELCOME!

I imagine this same friend would be the one who would comment "Should you be eating that?" if you were fat and eating something fattening. Back when I was still overweight I was eating lunch with an acquaintance (friend? Not really - we were working on a joint (non-work-related) project) one time who had the gall to point to what I was eating and tell me that was not good for my health and would clog my arteries, all the while she was smoking a cigarette and blowing the smoke in my face. I don't get people. Unless that person is a doctor or nutritionist whom you are paying IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. Yeah. Normal people. Isn't it normal in the U.S. these days to be obese? Except for that, OF COURSE YOU ARE NORMAL. Geez. You have to learn to ignore these clods. No, you can't hide from the world, but maybe you can make some friends who didn't know you 'before', so wouldn't know to make comments like that. When somebody says something hurtful, maybe you could smile sweetly, say thanks for your concern but I'm ok, then give them a mental razzberry. One with a lot of imaginary spit. Marcia Marcia

Well hunny there is nothing wrong with what you have done and how dare she/he attack what you have done and are doing. Well first of all I learned this a while ago.. People only say things like that for 2 reasons...One just to hurt you. and two they feel guilty because they think that you have it easy now.. Ohhhh soooo wrong... No one understands what you are going through unless they have been in your shoes.. One thing that I have found is I will not talk about my weightloss with certain people because I know that they will say something to hurt me. So when they start talking about it I jump to a different topic or I jokingly make fun of how my body can't handle the change.... Make them think that I am not happy with something and then they change the subject because what they were trying to did not work for them.....Hang in there

Some people are just jealous. I have a friend who makes it a point to tell people I had surgery and How I could eat this and that before. I didn't feel it was very nice. I realized she is jealous because I was the "Fat Friend" I made her feel better about herself because it was the only thing that she had on me. Some people make us feel bad to make them feel better and when we change they then have to look at them selfs. So I say f**k them

If these are friends that you value, you should give then each one chance. Say (in your own words), "The comments that you make about my surgery are not appreciated. You can either support me, keep your mouth shut, or we can part ways". Honestly, some people are just ignorant and do not stop and think about what they are saying. So you have to bring it to their attention. If it continues after that, they're jealous wenches who are clearly threatened by you. But give them a chance. A good friend is worth that.

You know, I sometimes get comments like that... only they aren't said in a mean or degrading way but more out of love & concern. But nevertheless, I still feel a bit weird like I'm under the microscope when I eat out with friends.... so if someone makes a concerned comment that I hardly ate anything or that's not enough to sustain a person... I just tell them that I ate before I came whether I did or not. That usually shuts them up!

Thank you for your post. I've been going through the same thing lately with (what was) my closest group of friends. I really don't want to give up my friendships with them because they've been part of my life for so long... but have found that now and again I have to distance myself from them - for my own preservation. It is really hurtful, especially to someone like me who is painfully shy around people i don't know. Making new friends, (especially those that last) isn't the easiest thing in the world to do. I try to forgive them and hope in time that they will forgive me too - for ending up better than I was before. =0) That might mean outdoing them... I think that's how they are threatened.

Thank you also for your message. I have been going through this nonsense with not just one, but many different people in my life who are supposed to be "close" to me. I am going crazy trying to write an email to my friend that hurt my feelings on Monday night... I am almost unable to do it. I am unable to express the hurt out of fear that she will flip out on me and want nothing more to do with me. I too, just like you, have the hardest time in the world making new friends. I am incredibly shy in person and it takes forever for me to warm up to others and even consider trusting them. Of course, the people who made it past the awkward phase - I always thought they were "friends for life". I guess I was WRONG. I suppose my friends were there for me as long as they got the chance to look better, feel better... I suppose I was that person that everyone could look at and realize what a good day they were having. Now that this dynamic is changing, people aren't so interested in being supportive of me. I have always been the "great listener" or the person to "turn to". I'm sorry about all the venting here...

I agree w/ Jessica. You should make him/her aware that the comment was hurtful. Maybe they meant something totally different. I know I would want to know if I said something hurtful, but didn't mean to. At least if you brought it out in the open, then he/she will know where you are coming from. I think we are all going to have some folks in our lives that eventually become unsupportive. And ya know what? The less time we contribute to those relationships, the better. The one thing I would hope that you take away from this, is that we all are here for you and care about you 100%! We are all in this thing together, through the highs and the lows. If anyone understands where you are coming from, it is us. So keep your chin up woman! Keep us posted on the outcome, K? Take care, Dawn

I don't have the whole story but here is my input, sorry to be so forward. Our eating habits are not normal, so what she said really isn't that far fatched. If a person that didn't have GBS, would be starving if they ate how we do after GBS. I'm not sure if there is more to the story but that doesn't sound bad. Sometimes when I am low I over think what people say but we are all human and I know I guilty of saying something then afterwards wanting to take it back in because it came out wrong. But if you don't have a healty relationship with this friend you should cut ties. I know for me after GBS my hormones are all over the place and having an unhealty relationship would put me over the top. Good luck to you.