I'm Scared

Hey all. Sorry I've been gone for so long. I'm not doing very well at all. A couple days ago I posted that I was still having the same problems with my eating and drinking as I did before I went in to the hospital. Well now add sick to my stomach on top of everything and that's me right now. I've tried to be patient thinking that I have just had another surgery but I essentially feel fine from the surgery. I've taken two Darvocets in the morning hoping that it will allow me to eat or drink, but it does nothing but make me sleep for the next 12+ hours. I am again super dehydrated. I'm not making urine anymore and it scares me to go to sleep because I don't know that I will wake up. I don't know how long my body can go without food and water. I do get in sips just to take my medicine but the pain is so unreal for about 20-30 seconds I don't want to do it again. It seems the solution is SO easy......"Just eat." or "Just drink" If it were only that easy. There's nothing more for them to investigate. They've found all there is to find. I'm SO super frustrated. I think I've been depressed. I cried for absolutely no reason the other night. I know if I call the surgeon, they are going to put me back in the hospital or they'll tell me to keep trying to drink, which I can't and I don't want to go back to the hospital. I'm worried about my health. I got a letter from my cardiologist's office the other day about when I had to wear that Holter monitor. It found that I was having PVC's. That freaks me out. I thought this surgery was supposed to HELP my health and now it seems I was better off before I had it. I mean I know logically I wasn't, but it just seems things are worse now than they were before. I honestly don't know what to do anymore and don't want to look like a freak calling my surgeon for the SAME problem that they've already investigated fully. I'm so frustrated!

Oh Allie, I wish there was something I could do. This is suppose to be the beginning of your new happy, healthy life. I know you are miserable, and I hate it for you. I will have you in my prayers.

Thanks Tiffany! I was so super excited to start this new chapter in my life and for the first 6 weeks it was ok, but now........I just want things back the way they were. I know that's bad for me to say. Especially since I tried for 5 1/2 years to get this surgery! Allie

Allie, First let me say that I as so very, very sorry for what you are going through! I am very concerned for your health! I know you don't want to hear this, but you have to call your surgeon NOW! You are not drinking and not able to pee, that is serious! You can't worry about what he will think or assume they have done all they can! Your stomach has been through so much it might just need time to heal before the pain goes away, in the meantime you need fluids through an I.V. I understand wanting to go back to where you were before this surgery, anyone would feel this way! Please call your surgeon and keep us posted on how you are doing! You are in our prayers!

Thanks Nancy! I did call the surgeon on call and they told me to go to the local ER here to get fluids and that would hold me off for a few days. In the meantime, he was going to email my surgeon and let him know what was going on and I'm to call him tomorrow morning. I still haven't gone to our local ER because I felt so horrible earlier after I got off the phone that I fell asleep. Allie

Allie - I'm really sorry. I don't have any idea how hard it is and I have no words of advice. But I really hope that things turn around for you soon!! Please keep us updated.

Thanks Jessica. It's been a little rough, but hopefully it turns around soon! Allie

Allie I have no words because I have not gone through what you have. I did have the why did I do this at the start because I was allergic to the benzene and I itched so bad I thought I was allergic to the surgery. I would cry in my bed why did I do this. I am very worried about you. Being super dehydrated is a serious promblem! I know you don't want to call your surgeon then go to the ER and get fluids. We need you here on the A Team and ignoring that you might!! My prayers are with you! Now go call your surgeon or go to the ER! Keep us posted as well

Thanks for the encouragement and prayers. I couldn't imagine being allergic to the benzene........poor thing!! I'm SO past the "what did I do to myself" phase. It's more like, "I've screwed myself big time!" It has to get better...........right? Allie

Allie, PLAESE GO TO THE ER or call your surgeon!!!!! Being dehydrated can cause cardiac problems and even death. If you are unable to eat then there are other ways to get you nurishment in..... None are the greatest but at least you will not be in such pain and still be with us. They can put a PIC line in and feed you thru it as well as hydrate you. you will be hooked to it for several hours daily but sometimes they can do it while you are sleeping. Sounds horrible but that will give your stomach time to heal. You will be allowed to eat and drink while you are on this therapy and once you are able to maintain on you own then you will be able to go off the TPN therapy. Your surgeon obviously has not found all that there is to find. I believe that you said that you had a stricture.... You may have another one. I know when they opened mine I was great for a few days and then it was back and completely closed off again. Your surgeon has an obligation to you and really does want to get you up and running smoothly. Please call and see what you can do. You fought too hard to get here so don't give up. Now you have to fight to stay alive and in the grand sceme of things..... It is all worth it. If things were easy we would not really truely feel the joy of success. Please let me know how you are and if you need to talk you can email me. God Bless YOU ALLIE!!!! Katherine