You mean I'm not invisible?

That's a fair question. I absolutely would. With a lifetime of obesity framing my perception, I am the last to judge on looks. All I care about in a teammate is that they are able to pull their weight (no pun intended).

A hot guy...I am so jealous ;) It does feel nice to be noticed. Sooooo are you in his group now???

Indeed I am. (she replies coyly.....)

way to go, congrats on going to school Personally, though, I much much prefer being invisible, always have been that way. I tend to be a loner. I just always go do my own thing. I actually hate the compliments I've been getting, I'd rather ppl went back to not noticing me.

Way-to-go Jess!!!!! You rock girl! It's so much fun getting the attention we've lived without for so many years! Enjoy it hun, it's part of this exciting journey!!! Cheers!

That is a MAJOR wow moment! And I know exactly what you are talking about. In the past couple of weeks I've noticed that people are making eye contact with me and acknowledging my presence. Today a construction worker opened the door for me to my building! That never would have happened before. This weekend I went to a party and a woman was there who met me only once, pre-surgery. She didn't even recognize me yesterday. I still wear the same glasses and have the same hairstyle, so what that means to me is that she just saw a very fat person, and couldn't perceive anything beyond that, which is unfortunately the norm. My therapist thinks that I'm also more "present" now, which is why people seem to be more aware of me. I'm not sure which it is, but it is very interesting. It also breaks my heart in a way, because 70 lbs. ago I was still me. I hate that suddenly I'm visible to others just because of losing weight.

It is nice to joing the world again, but I agree with you on being the same person I was pre-op. Funny... I had the same conversation with my therapist He says that I should write down all of these experiences and write a book on "Becoming Visible". We also discussed relationships in depth because I don't think that I could ever date anyone that knew me before my surgery. My thought is that if I wasn't good enough for them then, they aren't good enough for me now. I have been told that isn't healthy thinking, but I can't help it. Guess I am going to have to move and meet a bunch of new people!! Or not. Chicago is a big city. Anyway, enjoy the new you and don't let small minded people bring you down.

I wonder how many of us are having the invisibility conversation with our therapists! Too funny! Oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to date someone who now finds you dateable because you're thinner! One of the things I love about my boyfriend is that he loved me even at my heaviest. On the bright side, I'm sure you'll find plenty of new people to meet in Chicago-how exciting! This is such a crazy thing to be going through, transforming ourselves literally from day to day, that I can't imagine how many more discoveries we'll make about how we're perceived and how we relate to others.

I'm noticing the same things you are - more people are noticing me and complimenting me. I am not that fond of excessive compliments, but I guess because I chose to have the surgery I have to expect them as I lose the fat. I just want to know why it's unhealthy to decide to refuse to date guys who wouldn't date you pre-surgery who are now asking you out? I think it's very healthy - I don't want to date anybody who is focused solely on looks, and with these guys you already know that about them. Besides, while I pray I never gain the weight back, who knows what else might happen that would affect the way I look...including getting older?

I am told it is unhealthy because I shouldn't be walking around with a chip on my shoulder. And I shouldn't. And I try not to But the Sicilian in me just won't let things die!!!