enough is enough

Ok I am very depressed and this is drving me insane and not sure comming here is gonna help .. As most of u know I had a lap band on april 18 and the day I went into surgery I was 250 lbs and 9 weeks later and 1 adjustment of 3.5 cc I am 244 lbs.. ok i know I cannot compare my self with RNY but other lap banders have lost more than 6 lbs .. come on even people on weigh****chers r losing more than me ... 9 weeks and I am not losing.. i keep losing gaining over and over .. I am eating less staying on the program and I cannot lose any more weight .. I have to say this My height weight was 295 lbs but documented hightest weight before surgery was 283 so all in all i have lost 40 lbs at least .. but that was hell how I lost those lbs i was on medically supervised starvation diet 200 calories a day plus My problem I have to exercise alot and I mean alot I was working out plus working and doing search and rescue and yes running a mile a day .. well i have since developed arthritis in my back ... and running and the stressful work out is not gonna happenen due to the fact i was on so much pain meds to exercise .. and work I was taking so much motrin like 2400 mg a day .. and landed me in hosptial with a bleeding ulcer .. I was walking but it gets sooooooo damn hot i almost passed out yesterday morning I am begging hubby to get me a tred mill but he says no.. so what is everyone doing for exercise that seems to work? .. I am gonna join a water aerobics class and get a personal trainer .. so i will not hurt my self .. and my back again.. i joined the arthirits foundation and they have water aerobics work outs I never was a huge eater just ate alot of carbs and diabectic medication and soda .. i really have a slow metabolism .. one would think getting rid of my route 44 oz of soda were not talking diet soda here and almost no carbs mostly protien diet I should lose .. but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I have to say this I am down a few dress sizes I am losing inches but not lbs strangest thing I know i am down 14 lbs from april 1 from preo op liquid diet included .. My diabetes is gone... so I know i am eating right ... my blood sugars were in 400 to 500 range and now they stay in low 110 range after a meal .. I am very discouraged about not losing .. here .. I am 3 weeks post adjustment and I feel very litte restriction .. I made apt to see my doc as i think my band has a leak .. see him tommorrow and the nut aswel and shrink is worried .. and i am not gonna take any antdepressant meds .. helped me get fatter .. no thanks I feel like a failure to everyone (like that should matter I know) and not to mention embaressed .. but most of all I feel I have failed my self.. and being marrried to a RNY WHO HAS LOST 100 LBS is not making my life easier .. I get the family comments who do not know I had a lap band maybe u should get a RNY.. I just excuse myself to cry .. so if u guys don't see me again u know I just crawel in a hole somewhere .. I keep telling my self the diabetes is gone .. that alone should be a reason to celebrate .. and I am thankful but how much longer can i keep up this not losing streak ? Do i have a reason to feel depressed? Hell yes........... so if any of u r down because u r stalled not losing think of me the turtle in the group .. u could be me LOL that should cheer anyone up.. I think I am gonna hide in my shell for a bit.. as u noticed I been avoiding sunday weight in .. to embaressed to report another no loss week.. Wish me luck tommrrow at the docs see what he has to say and the nut.. Lisa Lisa

Lisa, I can only imagine how dificult this is. I would really hope your doctor has some answers. It seems to me if you are eating right and doing some form of excersize you should be loosing regardless of surgery or not. I would definatly ge****er excercizes started I do them 3 days a week and they are fantastic. I have 3 bad discs in my lower back which limits my excercize as well so water is definatly the way to go. I even swim some laps when I can which is great excercize. I know it is hard but try to give yourself some credit you have still come along way even if it was a struggle to do so. It's been a struggle for all of us in some way or another. I hope you can get some answers from you doctor tomorrow. Btw are you doing a food journal that might help if not. I find if I am not loosing if I write everything I put in my mouth down I notice things I didn't realize I was eating. :hugs I know more about depression than most people should ever have to know so I feel for you greatly.

((((lisa))))) There is woman in my webring that is struggling with her band too. You should check out here page. The link is: http://www.alittlesqueeze.com/ Her recent entries sound like she is having the same troubles you are.

Hey amber do u have a email i can reply to her .. i cannot figure out where to write her.. ty for the link if not can upass on my email and tell her my plightt my email addy as [email protected]. Thanks Lisa

flame me if you must but I don't exercise. I walk the stores and park further away. I play with the kids and swim almost every day but I don't go to a gym or workout at home or any of that I was walking the y but that got old real quick. I love the tread climber at the y but it is always being used. My Dr said not to lift weights or do major exercise till after i go to my 3 month check up so I haven't. I am buying a ipod shuffle the one that clips on so when I do go to the YMCA I will have music to listen to because it is a pain keeping your big clothes on with a CD player in the pocket. I wish I could find a reason you are not losing to help you out. All I can say are you drinking enough water and getting in your protein? that will slow weight loss. Why not measure yourself you might be losing inches and it is not showing on the scale or maybe your scale is broken? best wishes

I walk a bit but since it has gotten so hot I have not done it as much. My main exercise, which is supported by my surgeon, is riding my horses. I know this is not an option for everyone but I bring it up because riding is something I LOVE to do. It is therapy for me. It does not feel like work and I am able to do it on an almost daily basis. My suggestion is finding something you love to do. Make it a hobby, not a job. This will then be something you are likely to stick with. Do not be afraid to be uncoventional. Since you are having such a tough time mentally, maybe some kind of meditative exercise would be good. Yoga or chi gong are excellent for working those muscles but improving your breathing and state of mind. You can always get a tape that you can do at home under the air conditioner. This type of exercise is non impact so should be gentle on your back. As for how good it is, I was doing a chi gong routine when one of my sons who plays sports came in and asked what I was doing. I asked him to join me. He lasted about 5 minutes and said it was way too hard. It is about movement and this is good for the body and mind as a whole. You do not need equipment or anything special. Take charge and make a decision that is best for you. Then you can get back on track and hopefully not feel so down. Best of luck to you Lisa!

May i borrow your horse ? I love horse back riding.. I been avoiding it because i FEEL SO BADDDDDDDDDDDDD for the horse to carry a heavy load like me.. I went to place to ride a horse one time and they said I was to heavy to ride a horse of theirs happened at the family reunion I was so embaressed .... so one of my goals is to ride a horse when I hit 200 lbs... Lisa

I try to go to the ymca every day. I was walking 4 miles a day (took me 2 hours)around our park, but now am walking 2 miles on the treadmill which takes me less than an hour now. I swim laps when I can (when mr. montly visitor decides to leave me alone), and use the exercise bikes as well. I was doing step aerobics but really hurt my knee so that's gonna be out. I've also tried some scuba diving, a lady I work with teaches free classes at the y. I started taking riding lessons again this morning, haven't ridden in like 5 years. Don't be afraid to ride. I was riding her (I'm taking lessons on the same horse I did before) at 250, and now at about 230. She's a big stocky foundation quarter horse and has no problem carrying me. I sat wallowing in depression and eating myself to death for half a decade cuz I couldn't/wouldn't ride any more cuz of my weight. That is the only thing in this world that I honestly enjoy doing. I had trouble getting on her today which I always did and almost gave up. But I'm determined to do it so I did. I even did some posting trot (about 2-3 laps around the ring both ways), and ended up on the right diagonals amazingly. not bad considering how long it's been. Horses are tougher than you think. I was honest with the barn owner when I called about lessons, and she's all for it and excited that I had this surgery and she's gonna see me change. We're actually talking about doing a lease on one of her other horses, maybe by next spring. I've been in a stall but I think I saw the scale moving again today. I'm down from like 232 on Sunday to 228 today. hopefully it's over and I'll get moving again. Anyways feel free to write me if you need to.

I do have apt with a personal trainer today at 1 and I told him my story and my frustration.. he seemed to understand and I need motivation and most of all not hurt my back ... he says he has worked with many lap banders in my situation so gonna go hear him out and see if it will work for me.. I need help.. with exercise .. I had to laught this am not cry ,, but my son who is 300 lbs been on protein shakes 2 a day like me and eating regular meals no exercise has lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks.. youth u gotta love them .. Lisa

Lisa, Let me know what he says about the lap banders in our situation. I am curious to find out. I wish I could say something to help you, but the only reason I think I have lost as much as I have is because I get sick just about every time I eat. It's not even worth it to me anymore. I eat what I have to to survive and that is about it, and I am still stuck. My getting sick is so bad that my 4 year old daughter has started saying that she is getting sick after she eats, and that SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME. I don't want her to have my problems, but I don't want her to think that it's ok to throw up all the time after you eat either. I have just started thinking of food differently. I don't eat it. I eat what I know my body needs and that's it. I have told myself so much that it's not worth the pain that I don't even crave food anymore. I am happy with some oatmeal or applesauce. No pain, and my body handles it. I am sorry that you are having such problems. Maybe you are working out too much or the wrong way. The water aerobics sounds like a great idea. It gives you resistance, but without the joint pain. Don't give up on the A-Team though. I know you said that your husband had RNY, but it's nice to have other people to talk to. My husband understands what I am going through, but he has his own things that he would rather talk about, so I come here to get most of my support. Just hang in there. It will happen. Tiff