very depressed about not losing

First of all I am so proud of all of u .. for the awesome weight loss that has been going on .. However I am in the club that is not losing in fact I;m in gaining weight. club. I think I am the only one that has failed so far .. I keep telling my self monday will be my day one for real weight loss since my lap band will be tighten for the first time .. i was not one of the lucky ones that had some restriction with their lap band.. I just feel embaressed with my family as i have only now lost 3 lbs from surgery day .. nothing to brag about .. I keep giving my self the lecture but it is not reaching me or working anymore I have failed .. i am thinking this is not working .. I am very very depressed .. all this pain suffering and all I have to show is 3 lbs?????? Not sure if it is even healthy to keep comming back here to the April board .. Just reminds me I am such a failure not a loser .. don't get me wrong .. I am proud of everyone sucess .. but not sure staying here is a good thing .. when it reminds me I am failing I wish I had a plataue but I am gaining.. which is worse .. not to mention embaressing.So hard living up to a hubby who is 110 % sucessful RNY,, seems my mariage is failing over this weight lost surgery what in H----- did i do??? I hope everyone continued sucess .. My fluroscopy fill is monday at 11 and my hubby is not even gonna make it seems he upset I am not losing he is RNY post 9 mos lost 100 lbs.. my only hope they will tighten me up like a skin on a drum but even then who knows . Lisa Ps so sorry for rambling and whinning.. I should at least be thankful I had the surgery where many r trying to have it..

Jeez, Lisa. You said some form of the word "failed" three times in your post. It's only been 6 weeks, and the lap band is a MUCH slower process than RNY procedure. Plus, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HAD YOUR FIRST FILL. If you have given up, and it certainly sounds like you have, then don't go get the fill. THAT would be true failure - when you fail to try. However, I would suggest that you take a deep breath and relax and speak w/ your doc and NUT when you go for your fill. And, don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you might benefit from seeing a therapist who is familiar w/ WLS patients. Ask your doc about that too. You are carrying around something much heavier than just your weight, and food (or lack there of) will not fix it. I wish you the very best and hope that I don't offend you. I just feel like you have resigned yourself to failure already, and you never gave it a chance. Take good care of yourself, and please don't give up on this (or the april board). We'd miss you. Shana

Lisa, you can't leave us now! I thought that the first several weeks after getting banded is just for healing. The weight loss doesn't start until you get a fill and find your "sweet spot". Keep your eyes on the prize-you WILL get filled and the band WILL work. You are being much too hard on yourself. It's not fair to compare yourself to RNY patients at this point. RNY people lose a lot faster at first, but the latest studies show similar weight loss to the lap-band in the long-term. Just try, try to relax and stay positive. You will succeed, I know it!

Thanks Lisa... Was just a blow when I didn't get my fill thursday but I do hope monday will bring a smile .. when they can do the fill under fluroscopy.I guess it does get hard when u r married to RNY guy.. and the daily reminder he has done will .. get to ya IS pretty normal feelings . I need patience.. and this weekend is such a long weekend for some odd reason LOL.. thanks for the kinds words and not telling me I need shock therpy quite yet LOL.. sometimes I need to know I am human and doubts gets the best of me .. gotta find my humor button now !!!! where did i place it? Lisa

Lisa, Snap out of it!!! (My favorite line from "Moonstruck"). Please, don't compare yourself to anyone. Get your fill and you will be on your way. And don't ever leave us. You are our sister!!! Shar

It's EARLY in the game. Don't cash out yet. You're going to do fine. Give it some time. You had to know going in that the Lap band was the slowest method for losing weight. Geez, your racing your mini-van against Ferraris and wondering why you're not winning. I'm going to save this post, and 1 year from now when your at goal, or close to it, I'm going to repost it and we'll all have a good laugh. Hang in there. This is a lifestyle change... NOT A RACE! DD

DD If I cash in early I would be owing.. so best I wait tell I earn some intrest ... first I suppose.... I think nitrious oxide may help my mini van beat your ferarri lol.. ok maybe not but i can try LOL.. now about saving this POST ummmmm we need to talk about that... LOL By the way how did u become so wise DD? u amaze me on your insights ,postive attitude..and your humor .. thanks for making me feel better lisa

Glad you're feeling better Lisa. I thought you might. These surgeries have proven successful for years now. However, everyone is different, and we'll all lose at our own pace. This isn't a competition, we're all losers. I'm here to support you, and everyone here, in this struggle I wage myself. I learn a lot from you people. It comforts me to know I'm not alone in this. This is the only place I have to discuss my surgery, and my weight openly and honestly. It's not really a subject my friends and I discuss... not really a guy topic. My wife doesn't really understand why I couldn't just "diet and excercise". So, I'd be lost without y'all. Wise? Me? Now you're the funny one. Let's just say, I've walked a mile in your shoes. Remember we're all in the same boat. You're not feeling anything I haven't wrestled with myself. Keep the faith, Sister. The hard parts over. Now we just follow the program, and wait for the transformation. It's going to happen... for all of us. DD

Hang in there Lisa!!! I'm rooting for you!!! Ditto to what everyone else has shared! You're in my thoughts & prayers! {{{{hugs}}}}

Lisa, I agree with what everyone has said, you need to be kinder to yourself and not compare your process to your husband's or anyone here. Lap band is slower, you knew that going in. You haven't had a fill and you had no restriction, so of course your loss will be less. You will feel much different tomorrow after your fill and they figure out where your port is. I think the therapy idea is a terrific one. I love my therapist and dealing with my food/weight issues now this first year is hugely important to my success, so perhaps it will help you as well. Hang in there today, because you'll feel a difference tomorrow. Inky