My Mother's Day Rant.....

So my Mother's Day started off wonderfully...I was actually able to get into a skirt I haven't worn in 4 years. I was so proud of myself...I was really starting to feel good about myself. I got the kids ready, minus any help from my husband. I was totally flustered. We left and went to lunch with my folks, my in-laws and my uncle. Of course everything on Mother's Day is a buffet. I stuck with the shrimp ****tail, a few baby greens, and some fresh mozzarella and tomatoes. I watched my entire family eat to their hearts content....prime rib, ham, manicotti, penne ala vodka, potatoes, french fries, chicken fingers...et al. My in-laws sat sipping champagne ****tails....my favorite. Then dessert came out. Everyone comes back with plates LOADED with treats. I'm not talking a few things...I'm talking lemon meringue pie, cheese cake, chocolate cake, tarts, cookies....and on and on. Everyone is gushing...oh this is good try this, ooh you have to try this. I just sat there with my hands in my lap. We get home, and the kids go in for naps (this includes my husband) I sit and enjoy the peace and quiet and read a book. Finally everyone's hungry again, so I make the kids dinner (again without my husband's help). He comes in and is like, I was going to take everyone to Dairy Queen. I just stared at him...he's like oh crap you can't eat anything there can you. I was like..um..NO!!! We finally put the kids to bed and put a movie in. I was so hurt I couldn't even eat dinner myself. Around 9:30 he turns to me while we are watching a movie and is like, would you make me Cinnamon Buns. I sat there in shock for like 5 minutes. I finally got up and made them. Made myself a small bowl of Cherrioes, and sat back in bed. I ended up exploding into tears. He's like whats wrong....he honestly didn't see it. I went thru the whole day. I mean I know I've chosen this path, but no one seems to give a damn about how I feel. He appologized profusely, but it just sucks. I hate not being able to eat ANYTHING! I'm down 30lbs since I had the surgery and I'm so proud of myself. But I feel so alone. No one in my life seems to care. Thanks for letting me go off. Kerry

Kerry, One thing I have noticed since the surgery. When I see people eat, I get disgusted. Watch them.they shovel in the food, tons of it, no chewing, nothing. The amounts are enormous and sickening. Bite after bite, they go on forever. Aren't you glad you no longer do that? Be so proud of yourself for making this decision. Realize that life does revolve around food in most occassions. Just drink during those times. As for the hubby not helping.....that's another story! Sounds like he is used to you doing everything for him and the kids. Unfortunately, that is so many times the case. Remember though, you are NOT alone. We are all here for you. And...Happy Mother's Day

Kerry - I am so sorry for your Mothers Day!! I empathize though, my family celebrated me coming home from the hospital by everyone coming over and having a pizza party!! Brats! I am not married but I imagine I might kill my spouse if he asked me to make him cinnamon buns. I am so sorry.... And Shar - I totally agree with your point abou****ching people eat. I thought I was just being a witch and having evil thoughts, but I HATE watching people eat now. They don't even chew!!! I can totally see how I got to the weight I was at, its unbelievable. I am so happy to have this restriction so I can actually step back and evaluate what I was doing to myself. Tahnks for making an excellent point.

Hey Kerry, I totally understand what you're talking about when you say you can't eat anything. I realized that while I understood everything about the surgery physically I didn't have any preparation for the emotional part of it. It's like losing a friend even tho the friend was no good for you. My family understands this and have been wonderful when I'm having a down day but I am also going for therapy to work out my food issues. The surgery isn't a magic pill. There's still so much work to be done and it isn't just diet. It's good that you let it out here, that's the best thing you can do. You might explain to your husband that you haven't given up on the weight loss, just that it's really hard and some days you will be feeling sensitive and maybe a little weepy. It's all normal. I will say this tho, my family would never ask me to get up and cook them something that I couldn't even have and that was very insensitive of your husband. I hope you'll set up a time to talk to him, when you can be alone and tell him you need his help to have real success at changing your life. You all have to be on board. I have been to the restaurant with my husband and after awhile I'm telling him can he please hurry up. It's awful to watch people stuff their face when you're done. It's a whole different journey than I thought it would be but I really do believe it will get easier and better. Take care and write whenever you want, Debbie