my child is terrified

hello oh family they say it takes a village to raise a child .can i please get some help. my 9 yr old son who is really 35 in his mind . told me today that he didnt want me to have the surgery because he doesnt want anything to happen to me. and he started crying and he had this overwhelming look of fear in his face. i of course told him that i would be absolutely fine and that i would be home in a few days . i also told him about the benifits of the surgery and when i told him the benefits, he seemed o****il my aunt took him to a birthday party she came home and told me that my son is really worried about me. and she said he told her that he was scared that i would die . now does anyone have any advice or anything that they've told their children . thanks in advance

Hi Pateisha, I don't have any child at this time to fear me having surgery, but I would think that it would be a great idea to pray for him that GOD comes to him to make peace with the decision that you have made. I have surgery on the 26th of this month and I know it is a decision that wasn't made lightly. I too will pray for you and your family, you do the same for me. May GOD Bless and seep you is my pray. Vanessa

Hi Pateisha, I went thru something similar. My son who is almost 8 didn't initially seem too concerned about me having surgery. He ended up being at the hospital when I was being taken in for surgery and he just lost it. He broke down crying and I didn't have any idea that he was worried. I felt really bad because at that point what could I do. I did not plan for him to visit me in the hospital since I was only going to stay overnight but I had my mother bring him to visit as soon as he got out of school so he could see with his own eyes that I was ok. We talked about the surgery beforehand and he knew what was happening but I think it didn't hit him until the last minute. I explained to him that I was having the surgery so that I could be healthier and he seemed to understand this. Good luck to you on your upcoming surgery.

I can totally relate to this issue. I have 9 children and while my older children understand why I need to have this surgery and support me 100% ...the younger children are worried about me. But I must say it's no different than when I went in to have my gallblader removed or a heart cath done, they are reacting just the same. They freaked out then when I had to go to the hospital and stay a couple of days. They just know mommy has to go away to the hospital for a few days and have surgery. It's not the type of surgery they are worried about it's just the fact that I'm having surgery. I think your son is reacting normally and it's ok for him to feel this way. But reasure him that you must have this surgery in order to save your life.... just like a person who must have a heart bypass done to save their life. He'll be okay, just pray with him and maybe let him see you as soon as possible after surgery so he knows mom is okay. Hugs, Lisa

thank you all so much . i was so upset last night i just really wanted to back out . but i know that i need this is to better my health. and thats what i told him. we had a nice long talk last night. and he seemed fine. so thanks again all of my oh family.

My 11 year old daughter told me the same thing I am only 4 days out of surgery... But the best thing I feel that you could do is not request that he comes and sees you....Call him when you are feeling ok and show him that you are ok.....My daughter said she just did not want to see me with all the IV's and wires on me.....Reassure him that you will be just fine and then try to hide things from his eyes... But it sounds like people are making him feel that he should be worried about you.....Maybe talk with your family and explain that their fears are hurting your son.....Hope that helps

My 14 y/o freaked out..I had emergency open heart when she was 9 and could easily have died. She was old enough to understand then and it scared her terribly now. I talked with her alone for about an hour, at the end we said a prayer together which really helped her. My dh, her dad, and I are all cool and collected about this which helps her too..adults in our family are very positive about this. I told her she could take the day off school and be there if she wanted...so far she thinks she's fine going to school. I didn't talk about it alot after that and just let it sink in with her. She has started asking me questions about it in the past few days and seems quite at ease. Kids are resilient and knowing you know they can handle it is key. Make sure they know they have people to support them, that makes a big difference. Good luck and hugs to your little one!

Hi Pateisha(such a lovely name), I have children in their twenties and they are not feeling that great about my decision. I had surgery last March and the best thing was to only tell them after I had surgery. I agree that you should Pray with your baby and God will give him Peace that surpasses all understanding. Hug him and Love Him!!!! Praying for you all....... Scatter Joy!!!!