To gain or to lose???

I have been eating so much today. It is really ridiculous. it's like I am trying to get in one last taste...... of everything. Well, I am aware that I am doing it -- I CAN STOP. I am so mad at myself for doing this. My date is almost here. Last meal- Last meal- Last meal. It is a last meal, which I would trade any day for a New Beginning. What am i really losing? The obvious being tons of weight. What am I gaining? A brand new, healthier, happier me! Anyone else feel or felt this way~

I think that what you are feeling is very normal...After years of not having this or that..you finally are allowing your self to have,,Before I know I would feel guilty if I even thought about eatting chocolate, but I would eventually have some and then I would feel even more guilty.. And now I do not feel the before guilt just the after affect even if it is a small sliver.. Yes you can and you will stop. I know you will.. We are allowing ourself to have things and just like a child in a candy store going over board...It will slow down closer you get to surgery date..I know I did....I wish you luck and keep up your posts you are asking great questions,,,,Thanks for asking this one....

This is so very true i feel the same way i feel guilty if I eat something that I know I shouldnt even if its a small peice .But think about it we have been doing this for years its mostly habit . But we will succeed and we will win the battle . We have to be strong . Because we are the April losers we rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pateisha you are so right we are APRIL losers.....WE are strong....

Thats right !!!!And we have to be here 4 each other so if any of you need to talk im here.

I have been on an eating binge for 2 days!!! Red Lobster last night and the Cheesecake Factory today. I am actually getting sick of eating out!!! I am looking forward to Monday when I start my liquids because I feel so crappy right now from being full all the time. My last meals are done. So dont feel alone Maritza, I think we are all feeling this way the closer we get to our dates. Cindy

Ok but do we understand why we do what we are doing? As long as there is no emotional reason. Then I would say go for it do enjoy what you have not been able to BUT (ohh man I know there is always a but) DO NOT OVER DO IT.....I understand exactly where everyone is coming from I have 11 more nights before surgery. I went through the eating stages.. I am so glad that I am in a small town only a couple resturants. I do think it is normal if it wasn't WE would not be talking about it...LOL....We will be ok... I know that we will excuse how I say this but BE THERE AFTER EVERYONES SURGERY TO TALK US OFF THE ROOF>....lmao.....It is a major support thing here... I am so glad.

Thanks everybody! I feel better already! M.Y.

I feel better just reading everyone's posts! I thought I was the only one feeling like I have to get it all in now before I undergo the knife! LOL! I want to go to some of my favorite restaurants for one last "party in my mouth" because I know it will be a while before we can do this after surgery. Of course, I don't want to overdo it because I don't want to jepordize my surgery in anyway! So a little celebration now and then it's buckle down time as I prepare myself for the big day!

M.Y. Hey, look at the bright side, we all beat anorexia! This last minute binge eating isn't going to stop the world from spinning. I am so out of control with my eating right now! But! I know that once I start my pre-op diet all this insanity ends, and life begins anew. Don't feel like the lone ranger. I feel like I'm breaking out of a bad relationship. It's a love / hate thing. DD