Not making it easy . . .
The people at work are not at all happy that I'm going off to have the surgery. They can't fire me because of the Family Medical Leave Act, but they are being as rude and rigid as they can legally be. Yesterday was the worst. My doc tried me on Lorazapam to take the edge off the anxiety, but in reality, it just dulled my senses. I got myself in trouble with the wrong kind of reply on an email. /sigh
Thankfully a friend spent a few hours talking to me and then several hours praying for me and I stopped taking the "happy pills." Today was a better day in that I was in better controle, but I can't believe how rude and heartless some people are. Most of the people at work are not supportive at all, they are down right resentful and they are stressing me out. But only two more days to go!!
I am truely blessed with the amazing support of my husband and wonderful people at my church.
I know I shouldn't let the bad stuff get me down, but when you are sitting there with people resenting you, it is hard to ignore. They are certainly not making this easy.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am too, in some ways. I hear remarks being made 
"do you think she'll be able to do it" "i give her a month before she starts gaining it back" 
. I just glance up from my desk and smile at them. (mumbling ******** under my breath).
Besides my boss, there are 3 of us in the office. It's a very busy office and sometimes even 3 of us are going nuts. Closer to hurricane season and the entire summer is just crazy. The most support I'm getting at work has been from my boss. He's actually the one personally financing my surgery. Anyway, there is definitely some jealousy with the others because I've been here 20 years, he let's me pretty much take off when I want and however long I want for vacations, personal days, etc. But I am office manager, work my butt off and pull more than my weight (no pun intended..lol) often working late and will meet clients on Saturdays, come in immediately after a hurricane passes because it is our job and our obligation to our clients that we be here. So I am loyal to my boss, dedicated to my job (sometimes more than I should be), concerned about my clients and if anyone else in the office has a problem with that, that's there problem, not mine.
But this past Friday one of my co-workers fell at home and broke her hip. She had surgery to put in a pin and plate and will be in physical therapy for a few weeks. Today on the phone she said, "I probably won't be back before you were planning to leave so you may have to change your surgery......... " and before she could get the word "date" out of her mouth, I said...... 
and I'm thinking, OVER MY DEAD A$$ !!!!!!!!
If I didn't feel bad for her because I know how much pain she is in, I'd of thuuuuunk she did it on purpose to mess with my mind (not really but it DID cross my mind) 
. But I've waited years for this and especially with going to South America, you can't just reschedule a surgery when airfare, hotel, pre-ops, surgeons, etc. are already confirmed. My boss said not to worry about a thing, and sooooooo... I've decided to let go of what is out of my control, with the office, with the people who don't support me, etc.
And Denise, it probably won't be any better when we get back to work after our surgeries either. They're going to feel how they feel and regardless of our reasons for doing what we're doing, this is our PERSONAL lives. I now regret telling some people at all. But when you finally make the decision then get a date, you're so excited you want to shout it to the world.. I just wish I had of covered my mouth when I shouted 
remember what Dr. Seuss said...
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
"do you think she'll be able to do it" "i give her a month before she starts gaining it back" . I just glance up from my desk and smile at them. (mumbling ******** under my breath).
Besides my boss, there are 3 of us in the office. It's a very busy office and sometimes even 3 of us are going nuts. Closer to hurricane season and the entire summer is just crazy. The most support I'm getting at work has been from my boss. He's actually the one personally financing my surgery. Anyway, there is definitely some jealousy with the others because I've been here 20 years, he let's me pretty much take off when I want and however long I want for vacations, personal days, etc. But I am office manager, work my butt off and pull more than my weight (no pun intended..lol) often working late and will meet clients on Saturdays, come in immediately after a hurricane passes because it is our job and our obligation to our clients that we be here. So I am loyal to my boss, dedicated to my job (sometimes more than I should be), concerned about my clients and if anyone else in the office has a problem with that, that's there problem, not mine.
But this past Friday one of my co-workers fell at home and broke her hip. She had surgery to put in a pin and plate and will be in physical therapy for a few weeks. Today on the phone she said, "I probably won't be back before you were planning to leave so you may have to change your surgery......... " and before she could get the word "date" out of her mouth, I said...... and I'm thinking, OVER MY DEAD A$$ !!!!!!!!
If I didn't feel bad for her because I know how much pain she is in, I'd of thuuuuunk she did it on purpose to mess with my mind (not really but it DID cross my mind) . But I've waited years for this and especially with going to South America, you can't just reschedule a surgery when airfare, hotel, pre-ops, surgeons, etc. are already confirmed. My boss said not to worry about a thing, and sooooooo... I've decided to let go of what is out of my control, with the office, with the people who don't support me, etc.
And Denise, it probably won't be any better when we get back to work after our surgeries either. They're going to feel how they feel and regardless of our reasons for doing what we're doing, this is our PERSONAL lives. I now regret telling some people at all. But when you finally make the decision then get a date, you're so excited you want to shout it to the world.. I just wish I had of covered my mouth when I shouted
remember what Dr. Seuss said...
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." 
It IS amazing how rude and heartless (and malicious) some people can be. But unfortunately there are LOTS of people like that in the world. I am glad that you found a friend to talk to.
When I was pregnant with my twins years ago I had a similar situation. A month after I returned the company fired me. I worked my butt off for them, and frequently did not take proper care of myself because I was so busy, but all I got was grief. As upsetting as it was, I can now look back and Thank the Lord, it was awful and their firing me without sufficient cause gave me almost a year with my twins (and their older brother) that I would not have had otherwise. It also helped to learn the company went out of business two years later. Poor management all around I would say.
Fortunately you have something I didn't have back then, good friends and a supportive family to lean on. Keep your chin up. All you have to do is get to your surgery day. Once you have made it that far there will be NO LOOKING BACK!
God Bless You! Heidi L-S
Well, I'm having a better day. A friend of mine has stayed up the better part of the last few days and nights praying for me. Couple that with all your support and I'm finally able to release the feeling of letting other people down.
At work, they have moved into the phase of "oh geeze, she is actually leaving. How do we do all this stuff?" and God help me I was actually chuckling inside. Don't get me wrong. I've been very dillgent about documenting all the proceedures possible and I've been showing those willing to learn how to do things. So I don't feel guilty at all.
Also, believe it or not, I opted not to tell anyone what kind of surgery I'm having. I figured it was none of their business. So they are being this rude and incensitive and for all they know I'm going in for cancer or something worse.
I've decided to go alooking for a new job as soon as my newfound health will allow. I deserve a more supportive atmosphere or at the very least, a less HOSTILE one!!!
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