Have people forgotten their manners?

so my surgery is on Wednesday 4/12 and my last day at work was friday, a few people at work new before hand and a fewother foudn out on friday. Some people are very supportive and some are scared because of the risks from the surgery, once you speak to them they usuallysee how the risks of not having the surgery out way the actual procedure. But there is that group of people that are just rude they always say; Why don you just go on a diet? ... like i haven't done that... being on diets is waht got me here in the first place... Try some diet pills? ... like those work... been there done that... Why don't you eat less? Why don't you eat better foods? Have you tried Atkins? I belong to weigh****cher, why don't you try it? Why don't you just get up and work out? Don't be a couch potato.. ..... Are you kidding me... even if they do not agree with my decision they should at least respect it, if i hear another comment like - You know you can die in surgey - I'm gonna blow up and let them have it. I just had to vent...

I'm sorry you have to go through that sort of thing. The people I work with have been nothing but supportive, and sometimes I think they are more excited than I am. In fact, my boss didn't even know what bypass surgery was, I had to explain it to her. I forgot about Al Roker and Carnie Wilson, those are always the go-to people when trying to explain to someone who is clueless. She was amazed when I explained it to her, and she has a right to be, she's about 5'2" and all of 110. She was the first to jump right on board. I get lots of questions about protein shakes when I have them at work, but they're not negative, just curious. There's one lady who even kept me in the kitchen for an hour asking me a thousand questions about the surgery which started out as questions about the protein shake I was making. I didn't mind, she was sincere, and it was kind of cute, even. Then there are the men, who act like you announced that you're having a hysterectomy or something, they want to be supportive, but they don't want to talk about it AT ALL. This is fairly amusing to me. The only questions I've gotten from them is who to ask to print a check while I'm gone. Again, I don't mind. The one thing that irritates me a little is this one woman who in one breath told me how excited she was for me, and in the next breath chatters on about how she loves to watch those medical shows on the Discovery Channel. Then she mentions how she thinks that it's so great that I'm going to be sitting two desks (we have cubes, doesn't everyone? ) down from her and she can watch me lose a lot of weight. She even flat out said that I would be her personal Discovery Channel. I'm not doing this for your personal amusement. But if you like to celebrate the goals and wow moments with me, then so be it. I also know she meant no harm by it and it may well be her way of trying to congratulate me. Anyhow, I am really thankful that I have not had to deal with those tough questions and comments. I am sorry that this is something you have had to encounter. -Julie

Hi, I'm so very sorry you have subjected to this kind of treatment, they are just iggnorant, don't have a clue as to what you go through day in and day out. Thats why I chose not to tell anyone, only my Husband and our son. I haven't told my Mom, sister or brother or friends. I just don't want to hear their comments, they know I diet all the time anyway, so when I start to loss they'll just think I've found one that works for me. Good luck on your surgery, I'll say a prayer that all goes well and you'll have a speedy recovery. And you'll emerge like a beautiful butterfly from it's cocoon, cause I know you're beautiful already, you're filled with beauty from the inside out, you just need to be able to see it in the mirror for yourself and then maybe you'll feel it also!! Hugs to you Perry W.

For all of those reasons and more is why I have not told anyone at work, not even my boss, all she knows is that it is a medical LOA. I wanted to go into my surgery with a conpletely positive attitude and surround myself with only people who support me. My mom is the only one that is less supportive than I would like but I think that is because she is worried if anything were to happen to me so I have made her my one exception but she is not to speak negatively about the surgery to me. 5 days and counting. Take care and good luck, best wishes for a speedy recovery and when you are healthy and thinner you can just do this

You know what? It doesn't really matter what other people think, and yes, I know, firsthand, that some people can be really rude and pushy about their opinions. But in the grander scheme of things, it really only matters how you feel and what is best for you. Try to keep the faith and don't let them get to you. Cindee

Hi, Sorry you have to deal with all that negitivity Ignorance breeds stupity!!! I tell people that its more dangerous to drive in your car(I drive the Long Island Expressway) than to get surgery! Think positive and the only opinion that matters is yours!! I hope for you an easy surgery and a speedy recovery.My surgery is tomorrow, I have to be there at 6:15 a.m.Today is my liquids only so far not to bad.So good luck to you in your weightloss journey.Take care and good luck,see ya on the "losing" side Donna

It's good to vent! I know exactly what you mean, I'm STILL hearing those things. The thing I've learned over the years and especially since my decision for surgery, some people are just IGNORANT (not meaning that necessarily in a mean way) to things they know nothing about, i.e. this surgery and the benefits having it, morbid obesity (people who may only need to lose 20 or even 50 pounds have no clue what it's like to be 100+ pounds overweight). Other people are just plain insensitive and it's those who **** me off. A week before my ex-husbands accident I sat down with him and told him the things/details about my trip and surgery that I felt he needed to know and since we have a son together, that I've gotten things in order like my Will, POA, etc. The first thing out of his mouth was, "Are you out of your F'n mind, and you're going out of the country????....you're not even thinking about about your son." He already knew about this months ago but I guess he didn't think I was serious. And to keep from poking his eyes out, I just had to walk away. Now I'm thinking since his accident and that he's going to be fine.... not wearing a helmet, was he out of his F'n mind... was he not even thinking about his son. But we won't go there..... So... even though it's hard sometimes, try not to let comments of ignorance get to you. I keep thinking of a Dr. Seuss quote...... "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

People tend to always want to add their two cents, espcially if they think they know how to do something you don't. What they don't know is that you are an smart person who has looked into your options and come to a decision to deal with your obesity in a way that will give you the best outcome. Congratualtion on you decision to come over to the losing side, Linda