Surgery and my 9 year old

It seems my 9 year old's attitude toward me is getting worse and worse the closer we go to the surgery date. I dont know if it is because of the surgery or something else... Any ideas? Jennifer

Hey jennifer, Sorry to hear that but have you tried talking to him/her about what is going on with them.....they may be scared for your surgery and dont know how to deal with it so just try talking cant hurt...best wishes and just keep your eye on the prize... Hugs lisa

Sorry you're having such a hard time with the young one Jennifer. I can't offer any advice since I don't have any children, but I can tell you that it is hard for children to adjust to new ideas, new situations or perhaps you have devoted quite a bit of time to WLS, doc appts, paperwork, insurance worries etc., and he is just acting out because he wants attention. Just a thought! I really don't know lol like I said, I'm not a mommy yet *hugs* April

Well, I may get the "Bad Mommy" vote -- but I haven't even told my 10 yo and the 7 yo twins. (My 16 yo knows and is VERY supportive.) I don't want to worry the young ones and I will tell them soon, but we won't make a huge deal out of it. I'll be leaving the country -- that part they know. I suppose I'll just mention that while Mommy is in Brazil, I'll be seeing a special doctor about my weight and he's going to help me... I will, of course, answer all their questions. But since we planned this months in advance, I didn't want their worry to build up. Is that awful? I am glad that they won't see me at my worst. By the time I come home, I'll be feeling pretty good. I agree that you 9 yo is probably just worried about you and it's coming out in anger. I'd talk to her more and make sure she's comfortable with what's going to happen. She probably needs more information. (This advice from the one who's holding out on her kids ) Lola

Hi, I my kids are 11 and 4. I agree with all of the others. You need to talk to him. He may be afraid of something happenning to take you away from him. Or he may be afraid that if you change he will have to change too. I have always talked to my kids about how I feel about my weight and how I perceive it limiting my life. I've always tried to emphasize to both of them how much I want them to grow up with a different attitude toward food and exercise than I was taught. So, when I decided to have the surgery, I talked to them about that too. I explained that I wanted to have the surgery to improve my health and give me more energy to do fun things with them! Maybe he just needs you to reassure him that this surgery should make all of your lives better, by making you healthier and giving you more energy. AND that you will still be his same mommy on the inside, no matter how you change on the outside! Good luck, and be patient with him. Life changes for children all of the time and they have very little control. I know, I know, easier said than done! Sometimes I'd like to string mine up by their thumbs too! ha ha Cindy