Feeling blue?

Anybody else feeling blue around their anniversary? I literally crashed on Monday. My anniversary is on the 27th. On Monday I had my 1 year visit with the Weight Control Center - Dr. Zalesin. She is awesome by the way. Anyway, she just in passing said "No eating or drinking at the same time for the rest of your life." and "You will always be at risk for gaining weight." That just hit me square in the heart. Kind of like: What have I done? It was the first time I truely realized that this is up to me now. The tool is there but it will slowly stop being a main player in my life. According to everything I've read 18 months is about it for the big weight loss. So it's Oh my gosh I only have 6 months left. Plus it doesn't help that I haven't lost in about a month. I've been staying at 233. I also have slacked off on eating and exercise in the past month. So I know that is why I haven't lost. My job has been crazy and my schedule has gotten switched around. On Monday it just hit me that I am OUT OF CONTROL. And it just seemed so huge and overwhelming. My bedroom is a mess, my life is a mess. Luckily I had a therapy appointment on Tuesday and was able to work through some of the stuff. Then I went and talked to my boss about my job and basically had another hour therapy session. Two hours of crying! I felt like I could cry for forever and I still feel like if I get started it may take some time to stop. So where am I at now? I've gotten my bedroom cleaned up, I went to the gym today and I think that I ate pretty well. I also bought easy food stuff that will help me not skip meals. My job is still crazy and there is still a nagging sadness hanging on. It also doesn't help that I can't see what all I've accomplished. I know the numbers: 401 highest weight, 368 surgery weight and 233 currently, I just don't SEE it. Ugh! I hate this feeling. And the weird thing is that I celebrated my anniversary last weekend. I went out with some of my family to this awesome restaurant that I had been wanting to go to for forever. We had so much fun and they gave me a great card talking about how much I had accomplished. I felt great then but then just crashed. So anybody else been feeling this way or am I the only one??? sarah

I haven't had that happen. I have had times where I've thought "why couldn't I just stop eating so much?" but overall I'm very happy I did this. Even with all of the restrictions and new nutritional demands (vitamins and protein supplements) I'm very happy I did this. When you said my bedroom is a mess, my life is a mess - that really struck a chord with me. I know when my house is messy I feel like my entire life is in chaos. To me clutter creates chaos. I just can't stand it. It really affects my mood. I used to have a hard time staying on top of my housework and clutter. I used to think I was just lazy but then I found Flylady ( www.flylady.net ) and her program is a lifesaver. It puts you on a schedule with your decluterring and housecleaning. It really helped me a lot. Are you taking pictures so you can see the difference in pictures? I can always tell when I look at a picture of myself. Hang in there. It's not too late to lose some more weight even if it's going to come off slower now. I started at 333 and I'm at 208. I would still like to lose 30 or 40 more pounds. Lizzie

First I want to congratulate you on your one year anniversary, you have done an awsome job. Second, I want to say I am sorry that you feel so blue, but glad you are getting therapy and hope that you can work things out. You can get back in control, try not to focus so much on the next 6 months but on continueing using your WLS tool to your advantage. If you have made poor choices forget them and start again. If you have not had time to exercise try and find time to start again it will not only help lose weight but will help your spirits rise. You have had a successful first year and can continue with that success into the next. Wishing you all the best. Sher

Sarah...it sounds like you recognized the rpoblem and are making changes to correct soome of your choices. You have done great and do not lose site of that!! I agree with Liz....clutter causes chaos...even when we fill our minds with lies from the enemy of our souls who only wants to tell us we are defeated. And we are not. You just keep pressing in to the goal and do your part, the rest will happen. I truly understand..I am in the midst of getting my house ready to sell and move across country and I homeschool my 14yr old and I am 57! Yikes...but God is in control and I do my best to use this tool to best I can. You can too!! Take pictures of yourself and you will see the new improved Sarah!! In Christ's love, Joan M

Sarah, I agree with the other ladies about the clutter and how we feel. LOL because my house well the laundry and my bedroom re cluttermonsters! What we did to ourselves (WLS) wasn't something most of us did over night, we read, we researched, we cried, we thought for countless hours and we prayed then put it in God's hands. I struggle daily with the thought of I want this (food), I want that, but you know what I had this and I had that and it was not my friend look what it did to me. Then I try to drink water, do something else to get my mind off that snack or that sugar. We have a tool and only that, we have to use it. It sounds to me like you have it back in control, everyone has crash moments, we are all human. We all need to get our feelings out, in some way or another we just CAN NOT use food as a "friend" or as a comforter, it is not our friend and most is not very user friendly. You are not alone on this journey and I am thankful you shared your feelings because you not the only one. Sending you hugs, Jenni p.s. Tomorrow is a new day and the first anniversary of the new you! Hope you have a great day! We both share the 27th as our rebirthdate.

Sarah, I went to your page... it's empty for the most part. If you can put on some pictures of before and what you look like now. It really is helpful to see those reminders. Put a list of goals that you have for yourself, a list of what you couldn't do that you can now. Count your blessings... You may not see the progress you are making so you have to convince yourself that you are making progress. I hold up my clothes now and think there is no way I can fit into that... then I stick a leg in then the other and sure enough it fits. We all have to convince our brain that we are smaller then before. The more you tell yourself that the easier it will become to believe it. You have come so far you should be very proud of yourself. Get out in the community and do some good for others, that always helps. Hang in there... Darla

Hi my name is marilyn and I had the lap band done April of this year 07 don't feel so bad my doctor found a hernia at the time of surgery, so my recovery has been forever. In the first 2 weeks of surgery I had lost 12 pounds I couldn't eat anything really.But as weeks went by I visited my doctor for the check-up regarding my surgery and my first fill.My doctor asked me if I was still in pain, so I had to be truthful \"I was" and still today I am recovering. I have gain my weight back, I am 5 feet1 and weight is 195 pounds.I went back to my appointment again and my doctor said to me he will give me my fill on" Monday\" well guess what I had to cancel, here I am with the flu.I can't believe my luck I am not looking forward in being weighed.My daughter brought a cake for me for mother's day "big mistake" I don't know what came over me that is my weakness I ate half almost all of the cake by myself, I felt guilty after but I am just so upset I feel like why did I get this lap band. I wish I can do some exercise but who wants to work out feeling sick.I pray that Thursday my doctor gives me a full- fill- that way I can start my journey in loosing and believing the lap-band works.My email address is [email protected] you can reach me any time looking forward of hearing from you.