dressing room woes

ARRRGHHHH!!! I gained 2 pounds; what the hell?! Oddly enough, I fit into size 8 Levis last night. I was all happy in the Kohl's dressing room and then I get on the scale this morning. Bye bye 160's! *furious* I sit and stare at my extra skin, hating it, fearing the scars and pain it will take to remove it. I hate trying on bras because all it does it squeeze out my disgusting hanging boob/arm skin. I can't decide what I hate more, the skin under my arms on my ribcage, or the tummy skin. I even have flab on my back! And I did something truly stupid last night.... I tried on bathing suits. I tried on size 10 suits and while they fit, oh my god. It looked like a pale-skinned blob was emerging from under all that lycra, coming to take over the world. Run for your lives! Its the blob! I hug up the swimsuits and vowed never to be naked again. I should just start showering in my clothes. AND, to make matters in the dressing room even more scary, I am going to the Air Force Ball in September. I need a ball gown. Oh boy. I tried on some at Dillards last night to just see what I would need to hide/accent on my body. I can squeeze into a size 14 dress. No fair! I have not come this far and gotten my butt into a size 8 jeans to be relegated back to a 14 dress! I felt like a lard butt and went home. Jenn 4-17-06 255/170/150

Dearest Jenn - you are so very hard on yourself.....and I understand that because I am the same way. But you (we all) need to focus on the wonderful progress we have made in just 9 short months. Hey - remember what it was like to try on clothes pre-surgery? Nothing fit well, let alone looked good. And face it - NO ONE looks good trying on bathing suits in a department store dressing room. (Whether you are a size 4 or a size 14 - there is just something about the lighting that is very unflattering.) So please don't get discouraged!!!! Bonnie

I think I was just overexcited about wearing stuff from the juniors department for the first time. You know how when you order food you "eyes are bigger than your stomach"? Well, I was innoculated by size 9 junior's skirts and I thought I was smaller than I really am! I'm just beginning to realized that before I had to battle fat. Now the battle is between me and the skin. The skin is goin' DOWN.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I have my butt in size 10 todays but the spare tire over the top of them is too much for me to handle. Thank goodness for blazers and such that hide nasty body parts. What I honestly never thought about before this surgery was how I would feel with all the skin. My battle is in my head with the skin, with the mirror, with food, it is starting to feel like with life!

ooh put the smack down on it!!!! I am still in the double digits in all departments.. grr 16's are still too big and 14's seem snug.. I can't win..

Too bad we can't sell our skin for some sort of research!! Julia

It will get a little better. Your skin will still go back for awhile once you get to the weight you are staying at. Exercise so that you have some muscle under there and take good care of your skin. (drink water, take your protein, take your vitamins, moisturize) We aren't going to look like we were never fat. It's just not going to happen. Even if you have the plastic surgeries on every part of skin you can you're still going to have scars and maybe even stretch marks from when you were heavier. It's still better than being the weight we were before. Stop being so hard on yourself. You look beautiful. Lizzie

Jenn, I think we all have had similar incidents as the one you recently had. We have to learn to accept our new bodies. They may not be exactly what we hoped for but they are ours. We are better off with the loss of the excess baggage we have been carrying around, now we can now live longer, healthier lives. If someday PS is an option we can decide to go that route, otherwise there are many good compression garments we can use to smooth out the bumps and hold in the jiggles. You know you are not a lard butt, you have worked hard to get to this point. Buy yourself something nice, a special perfume you like or a new pair of earings or get you hair done. Do something nice for yourself, you deserve it. Hang in there, Sher

Jenn, Just remember you have come along way to get where you are, and like eveyone else has said, it is better to have the excessive skin than the weight, at least in my opinion. I am healthier, happier, and smaller. Also remember different brands of clothes or made different so that might explain the different in sizes you were trying on. Take care and try not to beat yourself up, okay? Kathleen

Ahh, September is a long ways away Jenn and your butt and all my fit into a size 8 dress by then. I know what you mean about the skin though--it's ugly under them clothes, but at least we can cover it up. I bet most people have something to hide under their clothes and I have seen some not hiding it when they should!!! It is how we look in clothes and especially how we feel. I know I feel so much better now than 9 1/2 months ago. I can bend over and pick things up off the floor, take my shoes off and put them on. get out of a chair easily, etc etc etc. I will take that and the loose skin any day---BUT the day will come when I will get rid of that loose skin---Julia