Up and Down

Hi Everybody, I haven't posted for a long while, but have lurked a little lately because I have been struggling with mood swings lately and have been looking to you all for encouragement. Thank you all for continuing to post so I know I am not doing this alone. I am down 100 pounds! While this is wonderful (and a little mind boggling), I have been feeling overwhelmed at times with the fact that I have at least another 100 lbs to go. I'm very happy with my new energy level and my ability to move, but when I am down I read the posts of people that are already under 200 and get pissed at myself that I got my weight up so high before I did this. Thinking about the past is such a waste of time, but this week I have been slipping into this negative thinking. I think a lot of it is just fear - that I won't lose anymore; that I will lose more ; that my life won't change; that my life will change; etc... I'm hoping that sharing this will help. Thanks for "listening". Sorry this is a little long. I'll try to post more so that my posts can be shorter. Have a great long weekend. Dotsie

Congratulations on losing 100lbs! That's incredible. Try not to be sad that you still have 100 to go. You'll do it! Go Dotsie! Go Dotsie! Go Dotsie! Lizzie

Thanks for the pep talk, Lizzie. I got a good night's sleep and my perspective is better this morning. I think that if I exercise today I can keep my endorphins going and keep the sadness at bay. Intellectually, it seems so stupid to be anything but ecstatic right now. Everything is going great, but I get tired and my back starts hurting and the fear and negative thinking creep in. Today is a new day and I don't have to work and I have a lot of support in this endeavor. Yayyyy! Dotsie

Hi Dotsie, I understand where you are coming from because I also started out heavier at 326 than the "average" person (my doctor also agreed with me on that.) So far I have lost 92 lbs and I feel great (despite some quirks here and there and my initial complications). I choose not to weigh myself right now until I go to my surgeon's office mainly because I don't want to become a slave to the scale and I also feel the difference in so many other ways. I also am bottom heavy so I am still in 24/22 and will probably always wear a larger pants size versus my upper body size, but it's all good because I sleep better, I have a lot of energy and I've been exercising my little bottom heavy butt off! No matter what size we started off, we are all losers in a big way. My doctor has told me that he will be happy for me to get down to 180 (which is about 50 more lbs), but I would like to try to get to what my standard size should be which is about 40 lbs more than that so I am looking to lose another 90 - 100 lbs. I was told that we can lost our max between the 12 and 18 months after surgery so I am working toward that. A funny little side bar - I was at the gym yesterday doing the treadmill and had my cheap little walkman around my neck when all of a sudden, the song that comes on is Queen, Fat Bottom Girls and I almost started laughing. So I think I am making it my theme song! Continued good luck and have a wonderful weekend. Sue

Thanks Sue. I am exercising my butt off doing water aerobics. The pool was closed last week and I think that was a major part of my mood problems. It still hurts too much to do aerobic activity on land, but I can keep that old heart rate up for a long time in the water. Here's to Fat Bottom Girls! Dotsie

I'd be boggled too, baby! 100 pounds is amazing. You will lose that extra 100, I know you will. There is a girl in my group that went from 504 to 196. She lost 308 pounds in 2 years, I think it was. She said that the smaller she got, the easier it was to exercise and they better she felt about going to the gym. You are going to lose more and more and more. It will be great! Now go get that century club card for your profile!

That was the biggest problem 100 lbs ago. I could not move to exercise or even to keep up with life. Now I am getting hooked on water aerobics and am finding it so much easier to keep my house, laundry, flowers, etc clean and maintained. Exercising gives me hope that I can do this. Doctors think 210 or 220 is what I will be able to reach, but I am heading for 160 - 170 with all of your support. It's just going to take some time and continued effort. I am obviously feeling much more hopeful this week and accept that my recovery and weight loss is the most important thing in my life. Everything else just seems to fall in place if I just keep doing this one day at a time. Thanks for your support, Jenn. Dotsie

OMG Girl - you are doing fab-u-lous. I know when you think about the figures that it seems like an impossible task but hey you did it.....you lost 100 lbs. You can lose the other 100 too. You have been given this wonderful tool to help you so keep positive (as hard as it may be some days) because attitude has alot to play with how we do I think. I felt the same way that I couldn't believe I had let myself get so heavy before I did something but we all have our personal acceptance and we're all different. I am happier these days than I have been in years. Take charge of the power that your success should give you and YOU GO GIRL. Stay active and watch your diet and YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL. A year from now you'll be looking back thinking what was I worried about...... Carolyn

Hi Dorothy, 100 pounds is great. And such a relief. I hate telling people that I have lost 85 pounds because I feel bad that I needed to lose 85 pounds to get down to a size 20! And I am still fat. But... I feel great. Better than in years and now I can focus on my health and well being easier without having so much weight to deal with. Now if I just lose 50 more pounds I can be in Onederland! Try to step away from the shame and claim the joy. Love, Val

I told my boss that I had lost 100 lbs during a personal conversation we were having. He looked at me in disbelief and said "Well, I guess I can see it in you face some" It threw me, but I know better to listen to him. Whatever is in store for me is not worth worrying about. All I can do is the best I can do today and that keeps me hopeful. The shame creeps in every now and then, but the joy is definitely getting claimed again. Thanks for your support. Dotsie