people are talking...

Ok, have any of you had to deal with this yet.... instead of coming to me and asking questions some of my co-workers are going to a friend of mine and asking her questions about my weight loss. Now it's no secret that I have had WLS around my work place and I am open about it if people come to me with questions. but this one struck me funny today... she was asking my friend, how much more I plan on losing,(I'm not even close to my goal) and why didn't I just stop eating the food that was making me fat instead of having the surgery (she is thin) and stuff like that. I just told my friend that if our co-worker has questions to send her my way. I think that she just really needs something to talk about and I'm an easy target. The other thing I hear from people is - she took the easy way out- LOL!! as if this has been easy!!! I do have to say that 50% tell me how great I'm doing and 25% don't have a clue who I am, and the last 25% like to talk smack.... People are funny somedays I feel like I should put a sign on my back that says 291/224/145 then maybe they wouldn't have to guess any more... Darla

There will always be those busy bodies who do nothing but talk. They have nothing else in their lives to occupy their minds or their mouths, so they talk...mindlessly. You're doing great, and we ALL know, this is hardly taking the easy way out!

People certainly can be tactless too.... For the most part, people at my job have been tremendously supportive and have been constantly complimenting me. We are a relatively small service company and there are only 3 women in our office. Myself, one extremely thing woman, and one chubby woman. When I told the ladies that I was having the surgery, the chubby woman said, after congratulating me, "now I'll have to lose weight." I said, why? She said, I don't want to be the fattest person in the office." Uh, thanks? So fast forward 3 months, and I have lost about 75 lbs. She came up to me the other day and said, I have to join the gym with you. I weighed myself over the weekend. Guess how much I weigh! I didn't want to answer, because who's to say if my answer would upset her. Well, as it turns out, I am only 30 lbs heavier than her. Now I didn't start my weight loss journey to compete with her, but it gives me an evil satisfaction that I am almost not the fattest person in the office any more! Continued good luck on your weight loss journey! Sue

I decided to tell only my supervisor and the owner of the company about my surgery. The rest think I had a hernia operation. I did not want to tell anyone for many of the reasons you mentioned above, but, also I did not want them to watch every food move I made. A few days ago one of the out of town managers made a rude comment to me. He said; "boy you have lost a lot of weight....did you have that surgery?" I just asked him..."what are you talking about, what surgery". Now see, when ever he comes to town...he has lunch with our IT guy. And I am quite sure the IT guy (who is obese) wants to know how I am doing it too. I am very sure he has been reading my personal emails...and has shared this information with this person. Also, now that the weight is coming off and I am looking good, I notice some of the women are being rude to me as well. Like they are jealous. See...you can't win.

Its no secret around my office either. The favorite question around here is, "Can you eat______?" *sigh* It irritates me when thin people think that the "put the fork down" strategy will work for everyone. I think you handled it perfectly.

No one at my work knows that I had WLS other than 2 really good friends that I know won't tell anyone. I wonder sometimes if people will put 2 and 2 together. I've been the topic of conversation I know cause some friends have told me that there were talking about me about how much weight I've lost. When asked I just say that I'm really watching what I eat and am working with a dietician - which isn't a lie - just not the total truth. Because I had lost 50 lbs before on my own the group knows I was trying to lose weight and then was stalled. I made a comment once that being sick - when I was off work for the surgery - actually seemed to kick start me again - and I'm watching my diet so as not to get sick again. I truly believe that some people have nothing better to do and no other way to feel good about themselves than to talk about others and try to belittle them. I didn't want people to think I had taken the easy way - cause we all know it's not. So that is why I've made the decision I have. No one in my family (except my immediate family hubby and kids) know either and that's the way I plan on keeping it. (family all lives a long way away) Good luck and don't let them get you down. You made the best decision for you and you know what your going through - all you can do now is try to educate them so they aren't so ignorant about it. Carolyn

Thanks everyone for responding... I didn't tell anyone here at work prior to the surgery but after I was so excited I couldn't help but talk to people about it. I think the main problem is there are 180 some people here in our office and 90% are women, catty I am happy though because there are a few people *****ally are interested in the WLS and I feel I can be a good example for them. I've even been told by others that I inspire them to make better food choices. I've had several people tell me how proud they are of me and wow does that make you feel good. So I guess what I'm saying is I have to focus on those who bring positive energy to me and not those who are negitive, it's better for my health.

I have been very lucky. I did not plan on telling anyone I had surgery but a few weeks before I had it I told everyone. I told my entire church becasue I had been ill and I was concerned people would think I had cancer and was dying. I knew some would be afraid to ask. I told my in laws becasue they asked why my daughter was coming into town and I was not willing to lie. I also explained to them why I was not planning to tell them. As it turned out I have had nothing but support and love from everyone. If people have questions they just ask me and I am open and honest with them. I have not had anyone ask me why I took the easy way out. I have had people ask why I could not do it with diet and exercise alone and I have taken the time to sit down and talk with them about why that did not work for me. One of the things I realize is people just want to know. When I went to Jenny C and lost 70 pounds I did not have a problem letting people know how, when I lost exercising I did not have a problem telling people how, when I was on Nutrisystems I did not have a probelm telling people how. I am proud that I decided to make the choice to save my life and my health and if people have an issue I feel I am in the perfect place to inform them of the correct information. Surgery allows me to do what I need to do to take care of my health and my life and I will not allow anyone to make me feel like a failure for making this choice. Surgery gave me a choice and my day to day actions are saving my life. For me this is the easy choice. I don't have to wake up everyday and fight with myself to force myself not to eat. This is the easiest thing I have ever done to loose weight. Making the choice and making peace with the fact that I could not do it without this surgery was what was hard for me. Getting up everyday and being thankful for getting my life back that is easy and I feel blessed to be able to share this with anyone who is dealing with the same struggle of not being able to do it the "right" way. People talk about us we talk about them. This is just something we as people do to make ourselves feel better. There is always soethng or someone beig talked about. I would much rather they be talking about the fact that I am gettig healthier and thinnner than talking about how fat I am and if I am "ever" goint to do somethng about it. Terrie

I just started a new job, and when I mentioned my surgery, the girl that works for me said "How do you let yourself GET that way? I mean, don't you just realize you need to do something about it?" Whatever. She's dumb. I was fat, now I'm less fat. Whoopdefreakingdoo. Nothing newsworthy there. I wouldn't even have brought it up except I was telling my trainer why I couldn't eat something she offered me.