Epiphany!
I have collarbones! Well, I have one visible one, and if I crane my neck just right.... there's the other one! Whoop, whoop!
Also, I have been wearing my "skinny jeans" for a week or so now. Today, I wore a dress to work. Because of the dress, I now know that my undies are too big! The tight jeans were hiding that fact. I'm walking around at work hoping that the elastic holds up and they don't slip!