Congrats!!! I bet you look and feel great. Heather 4-11-05 291-196

Congratulations and keep up the good work!

Well, today is my 6 Month Surgiversary. Time went by SO fast! It seems like just yesterday I was struggling to move, to breathe, to live. Now I'm a whole new woman! I feel like I have my life back. My highest weight was 400lbs (probably more, but that's the highest number I saw), that was in Febuary of this year. Today I weigh 288lbs. I'm still Morbidly Obese, but I'm at least at a more comfortable level of obesity. I've always been comfortable with myself as a person, but over the last 2 years I have not been comfortable with my body. I don't mean that I didn't like what I saw, I didn't like how I felt. It was a major effort to get out of bed in the morning, to shower, to get dressed, to work, to walk, to go to the bathroom.... hell it was even a major effort to eat(Ironic, right?)! I think back right now on how hard everything was and I'm grateful that I don't have to do that anymore. I was so tired of the effort. I was ready to give up. I couldn't just do something, I had to think it out, make sure I could get it all done and then hope I had the energy. Now I have freedom. Not total and complete... yet... but more freedom than I've had in a long time. I tend to be a bit self-destructive, so I'm really scared that one day I'll put it back on. That I'll slip up and gain all of it back. I've lost 80lbs, then gained it back before. I'm working CLOSELY with my therapist to try to keep that from happening again. I'm thrilled and scared ****less all at the same time. I'm still having a huge swing of emotions in regards to where I will be a year from now, 2 years from now, 10 years from now. You would think fear would keep me grounded, but it never has before. Today is both a miraculous and fearful day. I've made it 6 months out and 100lbs down. Where will I go from here. I think I'm making some positive steps. I started working a part time job, but have decided that the little bit of extra money is not worth putting my health to the side. If I'm working more I can't work out, eat right, and sleep right. I'm going to resign from the second job and take care of myself!! I MUST. This is all new to me, this taking care of myself thing... I hope I can do it right. Now enough of the ranting! I've made it six months, SIX WHOLE MONTHS AND DOWN 100LBS!!! That is AMAZING!! I don't have my measurements (we took them, then lost them) but I KNOW that I've lost a lot of inches. I've lost 3 ring sizes, 1 shoe size, 3 dress sizes, 5 pant sizes, and a bra size. I've gained mobility, faith, energy, flexability, socialization skills(hadn't even realized I had lost them, but I had), hope, comfort, friendships(strengthening of old and new ones through the experience), and most importantly... a future! If you're reading through entries and pages trying to make your own decision on this journey... here's what I have to say. For each person this is a different journey, some are lucky(like myself) and some are not. Some reach their goals and some do not. Some gain confidence, some do not. If you are going to take this journey, take it for yourself. Don't take it to make others happy. It is your body and your life. You will have to live with yourself no matter what decision you make. For me, this was my decision, I have stood by it and continued to do so. I have absolutely NO regrets. Not one. If I "slip" again there is no one to blame but myself. I am in charge of my body and my life. I wanted it back. I didn't want the weight to continue to take it away from me. Good luck to all of you on your own personal journey! Peace, Michelle Lap RNY 4/18/05 Dr. David Ward (400)388/288/185 **x-posted just about EVERYWHERE!**

Thanks all. Compact.. lol. That is one I have not heard before. People do say I hide it well and were shocked when I told them how much I started at. I've been a fitness fanatic for several years even prior to weight loss so from lifting I've built good muscle.. but trust me.. I have plenty of fat to spare still. I'm married to a personal trainer/former gym manager so that helps with maximizing workouts. Although I've been slacking the last couple weeks. My hormones are so out of wack. I started back on birth control pills 12 days ago. Today the scale actually went up a couple lbs and I have not been in the gym! I also ate a lot of salt over the weekend. I think I'll just toss the scale in the closet for a while again. It will just drive me nutty. I just feel better by going with how clothes fit. Cong on onderland N G!

you must really be compact. i am 199 and wearing 18 shirts and pants.....LOL your blood pressure is great!! you are doing so well. congratulations!!