I don't understand why a) You're so defensive and b) So ready to bring a stranger into your home with your minor children. Your profile says you joined this site in April. That's not really important but what you do will substantially impact the lives of your children who have no control over your actions. But why are you so defensive? Nobody was attacking you, folks were suggesting Tom take some time for himself instead of jumping from one situation to another as people in transition who don't want to face themselves are prone to do? http://www.wildxangel.com

I didnt say dont do it I said do it slowly. Meet before he commits. I am surprised a young woman and mother would commit before meeting too..How do you know how your kids will respond?? that should be your first concern unless they are over 18. You put something on the web for comment that is what your going to get. Linda

Sorry Sheryl... but what would you have told someone if they said they were packing up and moving accross the country to someone they have only met online.. Even a bariatric buddy.. Friends are friends.. I have several intercoastal friends and have met several but i wouldnt have commited to one before I met one. linda

Hello and good morning, This is Tom`s "sweetheart" in Maine.I am over on the single`s board where I have mademany a good internet friend and the support is awesome. If I may I`d love to clear up a few things. Number one...we have`nt known each other for "2 weeks." We have known each other since Dec. 2005 when I started my journey. We started talking on a daily basics just recently. And we have talked about the very issues that were brought up with kindness and careing on this board. All very real issues. I`ve had my fears on the matter and he`s had his. I`m not out to "get" Tom. I want whats best for him as a friend and if we become lifelong all the better. I do`nt normally put my business out there but sure...you can spend the money for a plane ticket and meet...have a great time...go back home. You can wait a year or two providing no pressing life crisises come along to make sure its "right." But I`m here to remind you that there you never ever really know what will happen no matter what kind of cautions you take for ya never know what life will bring. I love Tom and last night I failed him. He is the sweetest man and so supportive. He`s smart and has goals and Im VERY proud of how far he has come for I probley know more about him then alot of people. But he showed me this link...I read his post and I got angry and hurt by the replys which to him when he asked if I thought you were right I replied..."yes" they are right. I ended up "cutting him loose" for I have to deal with certain issues myself and we WERE doing it together. We would laugh so hard on the phone we would lose our breaths and I loved our serious talks too. Bottom line...my heart sunk if you ca`nt trust your feelings and let a board full of well meaning people confuse you...I have given him more time. The only reason I have come here to post and told this years life story is I care deeply for Tom for I am simply put...a women,a mom,a friend..have my own place for 14 years...have my own car,have my cats...work steady and if all went well up and into May...would be willing to share all I have and Maine to Tom...my best friend. Sorry so long but I had alot on my mind...have a happy hump day!! Sheryl Hugs

Tom I am sooo Happy for the new inner feeling you have the confidence and the energy.. Yes, Maybe y ou are doing a good thing getting rid of the old girlfriend and moving on... sounds like she was a user that we FAT people attract (because we are so starved for attention) but WHOO!!! Slow down with your coastal gf!! Don't even think about moving until you have gone out there and visited and met the lady.. I am a sweet heart online but **** me off in person and I can be a bear!!! You need to go slow!! I know internet marriages and relationships CAN work( my neice has been married to hers for 15 years) but you have to be sensiable about it!!! Talk about it in support group.. Talk to the shrink you talked to pre surgery. Talk to someone who knows you!!! PLease guard the new you!!!! Stay safe.. I know we are all feeling wonderful and the hormones are rageing... but be safe, guard your tender heart. You are only 6 months out!! You haven't even leveled off yet... Linda