East Coast Romance

Hello and good morning, This is Tom`s "sweetheart" in Maine.I am over on the single`s board where I have mademany a good internet friend and the support is awesome. If I may I`d love to clear up a few things. Number one...we have`nt known each other for "2 weeks." We have known each other since Dec. 2005 when I started my journey. We started talking on a daily basics just recently. And we have talked about the very issues that were brought up with kindness and careing on this board. All very real issues. I`ve had my fears on the matter and he`s had his. I`m not out to "get" Tom. I want whats best for him as a friend and if we become lifelong all the better. I do`nt normally put my business out there but sure...you can spend the money for a plane ticket and meet...have a great time...go back home. You can wait a year or two providing no pressing life crisises come along to make sure its "right." But I`m here to remind you that there you never ever really know what will happen no matter what kind of cautions you take for ya never know what life will bring. I love Tom and last night I failed him. He is the sweetest man and so supportive. He`s smart and has goals and Im VERY proud of how far he has come for I probley know more about him then alot of people. But he showed me this link...I read his post and I got angry and hurt by the replys which to him when he asked if I thought you were right I replied..."yes" they are right. I ended up "cutting him loose" for I have to deal with certain issues myself and we WERE doing it together. We would laugh so hard on the phone we would lose our breaths and I loved our serious talks too. Bottom line...my heart sunk if you ca`nt trust your feelings and let a board full of well meaning people confuse you...I have given him more time. The only reason I have come here to post and told this years life story is I care deeply for Tom for I am simply put...a women,a mom,a friend..have my own place for 14 years...have my own car,have my cats...work steady and if all went well up and into May...would be willing to share all I have and Maine to Tom...my best friend. Sorry so long but I had alot on my mind...have a happy hump day!! Sheryl Hugs

Sorry Sheryl... but what would you have told someone if they said they were packing up and moving accross the country to someone they have only met online.. Even a bariatric buddy.. Friends are friends.. I have several intercoastal friends and have met several but i wouldnt have commited to one before I met one. linda

Okay let me tell you what I would say to an Internet friend for I so happen to have one in the same situation...I am wishing my friend all the luck in the world for he is going to uproot himself,move to his girlfriend`s state,find a job and an apt. He is nervous but he`s gonna do it. What I think is what we do is our business and he was only updating what was going on in his life and he should of stuck to the singles board for we have everyone`s support there. Best wishes, Sheryl

I didnt say dont do it I said do it slowly. Meet before he commits. I am surprised a young woman and mother would commit before meeting too..How do you know how your kids will respond?? that should be your first concern unless they are over 18. You put something on the web for comment that is what your going to get. Linda

And its obvious you know nothing about us...my daughter likes him which is a first in the long line of dating I have been doing. And commet all ya want..no biggie cos I know where my friends are...have a great day and keep on losing. Sheryl

I don't understand why a) You're so defensive and b) So ready to bring a stranger into your home with your minor children. Your profile says you joined this site in April. That's not really important but what you do will substantially impact the lives of your children who have no control over your actions. But why are you so defensive? Nobody was attacking you, folks were suggesting Tom take some time for himself instead of jumping from one situation to another as people in transition who don't want to face themselves are prone to do? http://www.wildxangel.com

I am simply speaking my mind...this is not the only board he frequents...and I will defend our relationship if I want to...but this will be the last post cos I`m done with this...you do`nt know anything of what goes on in my life for I am a stranger to you but Tom knows me well. He makes me happy and when I read his post I did`nt see anything about him asking anyone if he should move or not... Everyone has an opinion I know but I`m done with this board for I do`nt need people putting doubts into our heads when we are adults and know how whats what and have discussed everything that has to do with the move and who even knows if it will last all the way up to May? I do`nt have a crystal ball..do you?? And another thing...I told Tom about this thread and he`ll be checking it later. He is the topic of discussion and I wo`nt be posting about him anymore without him around. Sheryl Best wishes

I give loving, free advice to anyone who I fear is vulnerable and I stick by my initial comments. In my opinion, Tom needs to step back and work on himself as an individual. It appears you need to do the same. Anger and bitterness are toxic to yourself and to others. Peace Lynda

"I do`nt have a crystal ball..do you??" In a sense, I do. In July I will be married to the man I met online for 8 years. That came after a roller-coaster ride with men online which was the driving force behind starting what has become THE website about the risks and hazards of internet dating - and THAT will come up No. 1 on Google if you search that term. I've done radio and television including an entire episode of A&E's "The Love Chronicles". I've written numerous articles for numerous publications and sites so yeah, I think I speak with some authority/expertise when I say that what you're going to do to your children is selfish and the likely outcome for both of you isn't as rosy as the picture you've painted. And I hope Tom can see that we are posting out of concern for him only and your defensiveness is a great big waving red flag.

In July I will be married to the man I met online for 8 years. That came after a roller-coaster ride with men online which was the driving force behind starting what has become THE website about the risks and hazards of internet dating - and THAT will come up No. 1 on Google if you search that term. Okay so what I am reading into this is you dated NUMEROUS men from the internet and you are even getting ready to MARRY a man from the internet but because she is a woman who came on here simply to express her happiness that Tom chose in his last post to introduce her as someone special in his life she is a predator??? Then she was virtually ATTACKED by every person that posted about her happinness and because she is defending her relationship with Tom she's a bad person. Sorry but I don't see HER as being in the wrong in this situation, I see the people who not only attacked her relationship but also her CHARACTER when you all don't even KNOW her. I'm not understanding where your coming from on this. First of all Tom has'nt even expressed a DESIRE to move until SPRING which is...oh by my guesstimation FOUR months away and ALOT can happen in four months. Like deciding to take it slow...or even getting closer and finding that they truly are made for each other. Before the internet came along people met and fell in love and were married within weeks. Geez...imagine that....TRUE LOVE...without the help of some electronic screen. My grandparents are the example I speak of. They met...fell in love and had 9 children together. They were married for 43 years until my grandfather passed away. And my grandmother NEVER remarried and basically grieved herself to death over missing him for years. Whether you have written a library full of books or not still does'nt give the right OR authority to question ANYONE else's motives in a relationship especially if you have no PROOF of wrong doing to back it up. The advice would have been much more appreciated I am sure if you had put it in a more HOSPITABLE and CARING post.