My turn is on Friday

I've barely been able to think about my upcoming surgery on Friday. It seems my life has turned upside down this past week. Hostility, jealousy, and negative waves from the people who are supposed to be my loved ones are keeping me off balance and reeling. I'm barely speaking to my husband. I haven't been to our church in two Sundays. I have to fly to SC on Tuesday and drive back with my daughter on Wednesday. I swear I've had more stress in the past ten days than I had in the past year. Is this insanity normal?

Hi Lynda, You've got to relax hon. You might not be aware that maybe your stress is going out to others pretty badly. I don't know what's up with the people who love you, but it's possible it's all starting with you. Try to relax and rethink what maybe you could be doing that's causing all the negativity

Lynda, So sorry to hear that your stress level is so high. I think it is important for you to focus on yourself right now. Without knowing your specifics, have you tried "taking the high road"? That is not engaging with those with whom there is conflict? I am one week after you and I am mentally withdrawing from my stressors right now--letting go at work, letting the family know I have to get ready for surgery. I am very lucky that my family is very supportive. Take some time for yourself, buy the supplies you need for when you get home and try to relax a bit. Hope things get better this week and you can focus on your new life to come! HUGS, Krista

Lynda, I can completely relate!!!!! My DH are more than at words right now and my surgery is on the 18th!!!! It adds stress, and then i keep asking myself If i am making the right decision. I think that its jsut that everyone is sooo used to being deprendant on me for everythign that everyone is starting to get a little freaked out that I wont be home to take care of them and their needs for a couple days. Hang in there girl remember to do som ething for you.... that makes you feel good , Me i am the bubblebath queen! Take care, Danielle

I have a stressful job , and did get the same jelousy, negativity and hostility right before my surjury too. It just seemed to sneak up on me and catch me off guard for a minute. I think spouses use fear of the unknown against us with anger. My husband's sister in law had this surjury and she did not do well, she is alive, has lost 150 lbs but her life as she knew it before will never be again, she had a series of strokes and is paralyzed on one side. My husband feared the same for me but it took alot of talking and communication to get it through his head everyone is different and will have a different experience and we all are physically different with different co morbidities to start with. Mine were not as severe as her's were, in fact 2 surgeons turned her down and she went out of town to find one that would chance it. I planned to have a positive experience and kindly told him and the rest if they could not support me in this, they could go on and move on now. I was not going to allow their fears to disrupt my positive attitude or positive outcome I had planned for myself. It worked for me. Now I have him reading labels in the grocery store for sugar content, fat content and protein content, poor man Hang in there and try to calmy talk to them and let them know how you feel. Your in my prayers and best of luck on Friday! Hugs, Sandy

Hey Lynda My surgery date is on Friday too! I can relate to the stress thing. My best friend of 35+ years decided she didnt want to be friends anymore because she thinks my daughters (ages 15 and 18) and I treat her disrespectfully. This from someone who I have opened my life and family too for ever, provided support whenever her life sucks and was also my sisters best friend since junior high until my sister passed away 6 years ago. All this thru a letter filled with hateful, hurtful things plus telling me how disgusted my sister would be with me and my kids. Did I mention she doesnt have any kids??!! Of course she did this 11 days before my surgery! Im already stressing and my kids are trying to be supportive but cant help telling me how scared they are. My husband is his normal "no problem" attitude and Im trying to keep it all together for everyone. I feel the insanity too but know this is the best decision Ive ever made and just want it to be over with. Everyone seems to have an opinion and dont seem to care if they are critical or cruel in the things they say. Ive come to the conclusion THIS IS ABOUT ME!!!! Might seem selfish but you need to think about yourself. If your like me putting yourself first is something that rarely happens but this is a time were you need to be strong and speak you mind and try and block out any negative energy. Tell your husband you need his support and what ever his problem is, this isnt the time. Maybe he is just as scared as you are! I wish you the best of luck and hope you find more support and comfort from your family and friends. They too should be ashamed of themsevles for putting any more stress and anxiety on you then you already have. Print out some of the posts and have them read them. I will keep you in my prayers and see you on the losing side!