Hard to believe that I have made it 3 years post op TODAY !!! I am so glad that I did the surgery. Would do it again in a heart beat. I am still losing and loving it. I am about a size 4 now. Just need to get in shape for summer now.

Well, despite therapy, and constant food reduction attempts, I still keep steadily gaining weight since my April 2004 bypass surgery. I never got rid of the reasons I "use" food, and even when I was looking and feeling so much better, something inside my head made me begin to creep back up in weight, by grazing and eating all the wrong unhealthy foods again. I had originally lost 134 pounds the first year and was a model of perfection diet-wize. But over the last two years I'm so anxiety ridden and continue to make failed attempts to go back to basics. Many of my medical problems are re-surfacing, when I had actually thought I was going to be free of them at last. I absolutely hate myself and my body. It makes me sick to look down at, even my forearms ! So, the self-loathing is back and I feel so very far away from any kind of acceptable weight and good health. I was surprised to find out how difficult it is to realize weight loss while eating so much less food anyway. Before surgery, if I had eaten the foods I do now, I would have Lost weight. But, that's not the way my body works now. I feel like I practically have to starve to lose anything, and then I gain it back after giving up in a few days. I really can't imaging carving myself so slowly down to a healthy state again. It seems so hopeless to me now. This feels like slow death - just like before surgery, even though I've still kept some of the weight off. I started at 334 and got down to 201 and now am 277. It feels like I'm stuck in a horrible dream world. Gosh, this was an horribly dreary post, but I've not been on for a LONG time and it's truly how I'm feeling right now. Is anyone out there going through something similar? I would like to feel that I'm not so alone in this (but also hope no one IS feeling this way). Thanks for listening. All the very best to you all!! Linda

It's here. Three years. Holy ****e. How are you faring?!

Hello, Starting weight - 342 Current weight - 134 BMI - 21.6 I'm loosing again, don't know why, I think I look best at around 140, but struggle to stay up there. I haven't had any plastic surgery, no time or money, plus a fear of blood clots. Dianne

Name: Toni Successes: No complications from ds or skin removal. Lost 150 pounds! Challenges: Re-gain of 10 in the last 3 months. Wanting to eat Carbs, Carbs, Carbs. Self Image from skin removal is hard to deal with. I need to have a revision. To any one out there, do your homework. There is a major difference between a panalectomy and body lift. Skin removal is just that. Also, my weight gain is all in the middle - it is hard to wear the cools pants with the cute shirts. Friendly Message: I have been missing the board and seeing everyone's progress. Good to see everyone! Toni Bowen Open DS 20 April 2004 Start Weight 285 Lowest Weight 129 Current Weight 140 BMI was 54 BMI is currently 26.5 (still slightly overweight)