I was reading some of the posts...and I seen how some of yall have gained back some weight....Well I have gained about 20-30 back from my lowest...And I never made it to my goal weight. And now I just found out that Im going to have another child...I am in an unstable relationship with the father...He already has 3 kids and I have 2 already.. I'm 26 yrs old (he's 37)..I love him, but our relationship is constantly on the rocks... I have experienced more depression and self esteem issues since WLS!!!! Isn't that something? I have been suicidal many times in the past year alone. I don't have much family support....I started thinking about it a week or so ago and I think the reason my depression has been worse is because before WLS I had one big flaw in my mind...I was fat...I needed to lose weight..... Well I lost alot but not enough...But now I feel like I have dozens of little flaws..(sagging skin mainly) I want to have skin removed but as a single mother of soon to be 3 kids theres no way I can afford it... I want to have implants put in...My breasts are wrinkled up empy bags of skin. And to beat it all I am still fat....I still can't find the right man...The best man I ever had died a year before I had WLS...My life is in the shambles....I am an assistant manager of a convenient store and it seems like the only think I look forward to everyday is my regular customers...and occasionally guy**** on me...but of course they wouldnt do that if they could see the saggy skin underneath my clothes...My arms have wings...I so envy everyone that walks in my store with a sleeveless shirt...cause thats something so simple that they take for granted that I can't experience... When I am intimate with my boyfriend I am embarrassed about everything but mainly my arms and breasts...My boobs are so soft, like a marshmellow...thats not how they are supposed to be...why did I go from a busting 42DD to a small 38c...it seems like my breasts were they first thing to go...And now Im paranoid that having a kid after WLS is just going to add to my sagging skin...But then again it couldnt stretch out anything further than it has been stretched in the past right? So could it be that bad?.. I have been trying to stay active and trying to lose weight now....cause I am scared of gaining it later.... Does anyone have advice for me? I know I have alot of issues..LOL...and I so need to put more recent pics up.... amanda rny 4-26-04 highest 360 lowest 200 current 228

Hey Donna, I'm right there with you girl. While my qty's are still pretty small compared to pre-op, I get hungry pretty fast now. (and I mean empty stomach hungry and not head hunger). So evethough I'm still staying pretty true to my higher protien plan, I'm just eating more than my body is burning. And like you, I can't seem to face the idea of starting a diet, but I so need to. I was supposed to go for my Pap in March, but didn't want my PCP (that got me this surgery) to see my weight gain. Silly I know, but its the truth. So what do you think it is that is taking you back to your old ways? Are you in a support group? Is there anything I can do for you? Rachel

Hi Donna, Sorry you are struggling. I'm still struggling to maintain a normal weight. I hover around 130, but 15 pounds of that is probably excess skin. I look to skinny. I develop more food allergies everyday and never know what to eat. I wish I would have had this problem before WLS. Hang in there. Dianne

Lynne thanks so much for your reply. It is a real struggle. Now I have stopped WW but I am trying to get myself back into the swing of things. I know it is all a head game now. All I can do is keep fighting. Thanks again I appreciate it.

Hi Peg, Glad to hear all is well! Keep on keeping on! Rachel