Two Years -- Just Around the Corner

Can you believe my April friends! So -- I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I didn't expect it to be soooooooo hard. I'm back to emotional 'stuffing' and I'm not sure why. I actually feel sad or perhaps agitated when I'm not full. And I'm A LOT hungrier than I was this time last year. So I keep falling into the vicious cycle of feeling good about myself and then feeling bad. Uggghhh. Wish I could afford some one on one help. Anyway, my job saves me from going off the deep end. Getting to work as a fitness trainer really keeps me accountable. And keeps me trying. But I put my jeans on the other day...and they were tight! That's the first time in two years that has happend and it scared me to action. So back to training for a marathon and working out 6 days a week. Back to writing out meal plans and preparing food (especially portions) ahead of time. So what are ya'll doing...I need some inspiration here! Hugs, Rachel

Fortunatly I'm still trying to maintain my weight. I still struggle with diarehea once a month (wasting syndrome) and have to take antibiotics to maintain keep from loosing. I have to eat every couple of hours to maintain at 130. I seems as hard to keep my weight up as it did to keep it off. It will be a serious concern if I loose 10 more pounds according to the dr. then we will have to test for celiac disease which i don't want. Hang in there Dianne

Rachel - I too feel like I want to eat all the time - Every two hours - I am not sure if it is head hunger or real hunger - I have decieded this week that I am going to try and only eat when my stomach Growls. I have not gained any, nor do I want to loose, I am just afraid that I will gain, if I keep eating and eating. That wasn't much help in the inspiration department other than I understand your frustration! Keep you focus and keep up the good work. Toni

I find that my regular eating schedule is SO different than what it used to be AND what I was raised to be... meaning...I eat small meals every few hours...at least every 3 hours...if I don't have a problem with falling blood sugar...and low blood sugar makes you feel cranky, crabby, shaky and you can't, concentrate...so, I eat every few hours and I MAKE time...many times I feel like I do nothing but eat, but I am not gaining, just maintaining...which is good as I am at goal and feel good.... Sometimes I do have to remind myself that I do not have to eat the entire sandwich, no matter how good it is, because I will get to enjoy the rest in just a few short hours...yes, sometimes I do eat the whole thing, but I try VERY hard not to set myself up...by putting half away before I ever start eating...oh the games I play with my mind... Anyway, maintaining is a hard animal for me...seems I have spent most of my adult life either losing or gaining...maintaining was an elusive entity. I find that now I am back to "normal"...wls is done, plastic work is done...now I need to start concentrating on my career and other things that took a back seat to my health....now comes the time when I MUST learn how to balance my eating, health, family AND career...but I WILL do it for me!! Recently I have been going through tough times with my mom...she has semi-advance dementia...she knows the family but she is so confused and very nasty...I know this stage will pass...we are in the process of getting guardianship and getting her out of her independent living apartment....dementia and a private apartment is NOT a good mix...I find myself strolling to the kitchen more and recognized it the other night....I fixed a protein drink and made myself enjoy it and then went to bed....I was very proud of myself that I saw the behavior and did something about it....I will BE stronger than my brain...it works for ME, not the other way around....I keep telling myself that every day!!!! Best to all....together we can get learn and grow... RAE

RAE, Sorry to hear about your mom. It is such a gift that you can stay true to yourself in this trying time. And I hear your words and I take them to heart. You are doing all the things that I strive to do on a daily basis. Not sure what's getting the best of me right now and I think that's what bugs me more than the actual behavior itself. But thank you for the rienforcement! In good health, Rachel

Hi Rachel. You are my surgery partner....at least the first surgery! I am still in the process of losing weight. I am down 80 and still want to lose another 30. At this point, I am glad to be feeling better. I wish you good success in keeping off your weight. Sounds like you have a plan to do that. All my best to you and your family. Peg

Oh, I'm "hungry" every two hours. And training for running gave me "sloppy" habits - since I was needing the fuel with my high metabolism to work so hard. Now, with walking being my main exercise - I don't need the constant carbing that my running habits had necessitated. I'm not going upwards too much, but I'm feeling the pants get a bit snugger. Like you - its WAR! 1. Lenten crap dump - gave up my sugar free excuses, with one day a week off. No more daily SF candies! And diet coke ONLY when stuck. (I had started drinking it like they were going to stop making it soon or something!) 2. Water water water - My thirst que is still exactly the same as a hunger que. I'm pumping the hydration up and its making a difference. 3. Back to action - I'm walking regularly - as the pain of my surgery made my activity level the only true casualty. I'm back on track, and teaching a fitness class which has motivated me beyond anything else thus far! 4. Support - I'm BACK. And I'm talking more IRL to people again. I get frustrated with newbies asking things like "How soon can I go back to illicit substances" and "when did you smoke again?" and "So, eating cheetos at 3 days out is a bad thing?!?" So I'm trying to stick to more of the Long-timers I know rather than newbie support groups. 5. Protein - I'm working hard to get the protein fwd habit back firmly in place as I no longer have the "need for glycogen stores" excuse to justify my carb addiction. HUG HUG HUG, ~Lara