potpouri of comments

I just had to share with everyone some things that I did and how I reacted to them. Yesterday I stopped to fill my gas tank up and I decided to go in and get an oatmeal cookie. (Sheetz has the best homemade cookies) When I went in I saw a bunch of bananas that were 3/$1 and I got them instead. Last week I was trying to kill time after work and between picking my daughter up from work so I stopped at Old Navy to window shop. I saw a really cute pair of black pants there, I tried on a size 6 and they fit but a little big around the waist. I tried on a size 4. They fit. I have been buying 4's and 6's so this is not what is unusual, then I looked at a size 2 and I was not only able to get them up over my bum, but they fit. I can not tell you how that made me feel and it was not happy. It was scary because I was afraid if I bought them I would push myself into being able to wear all size 2's. I do not want to go there, I want to stay a size 4/6. I have been having a hard time with my physical appearance, tonight I was watching TV and all of a sudden I got the urge to go running. I think I would have done it if it was not cold outside. I am getting scared that my weight loss is no longer positive but an obession. Am I the only one feeling this way? Lori 258/138

I wonder about this also. I am in 8's (some 10's but they're getting big). I never imagined I would be this size. I'm 5'5 and 135 lbs. I don't want to lose anymore, but I'm also afraid of gaining. Some days I hardly eat anything and it doesn't bother me. Everyone tells me I need to stop losing, but I feel like I'm in control when I don't eat. I can see how this could be a problem for some people. I believe I'll be okay.... you will too. Janie 272/135

Hi Lori. Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you. No. I don't have the problem you are having. I'm scared that I will gain all the weight back because I can eat again. I've only been out 3 months since my last surgery, and it scares me how much I can eat. There's always something, huh. We just have to take it one day at a time. I do think you look pretty terrific, though. Peg

Hi Lori, I can totally relate. I'm 5'7" down to 132 and don't want to loose anymore. But I'm starting to exercise, and still loosing. I sometimes forget to eat and have to remind myself to try and get enough calories to keep from loosing more. I'm wearing a 6 but they are loose. I say I don't want to loose anymore and even would like to gain a few back, because I looked better 20 pounds heavier, but I obsessivly weigh and feel disappointed if the scale goes up and forget to eat. I would watch it - i.e. keep track of your feelings and if they continue talk to a therapist. I think there is definetly a danger of going to far the other way and becoming anorexic. We obviously have eating disorders, how they take shape now will remain to be seen. I'm seeing a therapist once a month and keeping tabs on things. Dianne

Hi Lori -thanks so much for bringing this up - I am so with you - and have actually bought a few of those size 2 pants and I tell myself I have to make sure they fit. I tell myself that sizes are not really these numbers as women's sizes have changed over the years. I find that I'm afraid of both regain and further decrease of my weight. And some of it is not really on an aware level. I'm going on a cruise on the 27th - and this week I've been maintaining on a lower level as I'm afraid of gaining on the cruise. I had real fears of gaining on vacation in October as I ate far more carbs and indulged in high calorie fruity drinks (with more alcohol than I ever drink.) I'm afraid of being away from my usual exercise program. I know in my head that's silly - 10 days away won't kill me and I'll be walking lots and maybe even using the ship's gym, but the fear is not rational. I do try to balance and eat more on days when I exercise but it doesn't always work. But the past 3 days I've been on the really lower end of my fluctuations and I know that's probably not healthy for me. I'm scared that I've been obsessing, too - and my partner has said that too. Have we become addicted to the process? I'm thinking of seeking a little therapy or finding a better support group. Maybe starting one. Ruth 5'1" 253/126 my goal/115/16 usual weight - 112 today.

OMG! Ruth...You look fantastic! Just wanted to pop in and say "Hi"

Hi Lori, I hear you, and have had some of the same thoughts...I am 5'7, 159 lbs, and am wearing a size 6....my weights sounds "high" but I am very heavy boned...which I keep telling myself...and the doc tells me the same...don't lose any more weight.... But, I feel power in that I could if I wanted too....but I know to be healthy I need to maintain a certain amount of weight....but I keep thinking...maybe 10 more pounds.... My husband tells me not to lose anymore too... So, I am maintaining, but I do get "happy" when I do my morning weigh in and the scale is down... So, no, I don't think I have a problem, yet....and I don't think I will allow it to become a problem...but I do believe that it could develop over time.... Keeping my eye on the scale and the kitchen..... RAE