Depression

Since we're all about the same distance out from our surgeries and probably close to our goals - have any of you suffered from depression, when this wasn't a problem for you as a "fat" girl? I having a terrible time and I know it's because of several factors going on in my life. I kicked out my b/f of 5 years about 3 mos ago and also began a new relationship with Mr. Wonderful which has now also gone bad. Anyway, my dr. just put me on paxil and I'm also taking Larazapam (sp). I still think a lot of my problems are related to my weight. I went beyond my goal of 150 and currently am weighing 136. I feel like I look good and feel good and then why should I be feeling so lonely. I know that people look at me like I've changed. I'm still the same inside, but how everyone perceives me is quite different. Is anyone else having these types of problems and how in the hell do we deal with them? Sometimes I wish I were still fat and sassy!! Until I slip into my size 8 jeans that is..... Janie 272/136

Jane, I am with you honey. I had depression before surgery but was not taking meds. I will tell you that I still battle it. My doctor is not one to give meds for anxiety, but I am having trouble coming to terms with my new body and how I look. I know I lost weight, but of course my family like everyone else's says I am anorexic. I am having a hard time accepting my appearance because I want to be attractive but do not feel it. I am also alone. Heck, I had one boyfriend in 14 years and at 138lbs he still calls me a big woman, even though I weighed 182 when we started going out. I feel alone in a crowded house, which I am inclined to think that is how you feel too. I want more than anything to be loved and accepted yet I was rejected fat and now skinny. It is hard. I am using the support groups in my area to talk about the way I feel and it helps. One of the people that attend told me I was brave for bringing it up. Don't worry we are all in this together and at times I know I am right there with the blues too. Lori 258/138

Hi Janie, Sorry things have been rough. I wouldn't say I have problems with depression, but I found if I'm not eating right and not taking my suppliments, I get tired and lethargic...and that leads me go get bummed out. There are some days when I carb out...when I dump...I get so sleepy, so instead of doing the things I need to do in a day...I just lay down. Which really bums me out because one of the big 'gains' of this surgery was the ability and energy to play with my kids, etc. And I recently misplaced my vitamins (we are knee deep in a full house remodle/adding a second story). I went a week kinda looking for them...then had to leave for a cruise...so there went 10 days...then another week. And I found I'm soooo out of sorts now. Way low on energy. Sooooooooo, for me, I've got to get my diet and suppliments back in line. I'll let you know if that fixes me up. Hope so...I had this 'lack luster' me. Rachel

Hi Janie, Sorry you are having problems with depression, I have suffered with depression my whole life till the past year. I've been on prozac, ambien and ativan for over 20 years. I've cut back on the prozac since the weight loss but still take it. Before weight loss even on the meds I was still depressed. Now I feel great. But I know how you feel. Here is what I recommend to my client's who are depressed. Read to book "Feeling Good" and do the exercises in it. Do the suggestions, homework, etc. Depression gets better with action. Get a sun light - a lamp that emulates sun light and sit under it at least 30 minutes a day while reading or working at your desk. exercise/walk 30 minutes a day. Start with 5 minutes if you have to. But do it. See a Cognivitve Therapist. Write some affirmations and say them daily. Send me your email and I'll send you some. Let me know if you want some religious ones as well. You can get over this. Paxil may not be the right med for you. There are tons of newer ones. If you don't feel better in 6 weeks, ask for Lexapro. Dianne

Dianne - thanks for your suggestions. The only other time in my life I felt this was was when my husband left me 20 years ago and I was able to get through it on my own then. I did see a dr. who told me to read the Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns. I got it at the library today, but haven't gotten started yet. I have always exercised 3-5 times a week, up until a couple weeks ago. I started back at this week. Told myself I have to go 3 x week and I'm starting slow at about 3 mi on the treadmill. I've been taking an anxiety drug for a couple months, but the dr. just added the Paxil. I really don't want to take anything and want to get off of these as soon as I feel better. I would like some of your affirmations, religious as well. 3 months ago I kicked out my b/f of 5 years, who then decided to stalk me (and still is somewhat). I had to get a domestic abuse restraining order because he also decided he should push me around. I've been seeing a new guy who also suffers from depression and anxiety. (He just started on Lexapro). Because he is having some problems of his own right now he wants to back off from seeing me. For some reason the rejection (or it feels that way to me) has just devastated me. Combine those two things with the fact I never in my life thought I would be this thin and everyone telling me how much I've changed -- I just am having a problem handling life right now. I really don't want to stay on meds. When I'm with my new b/f it makes me much calmer -- but things aren't going to work out with him until he gets himself in a calmer place. It's like a vicious circle right now. Thanks for your help. Janie

I will look for them tonight when I get home. Dianne

I'm actually having a good today... Have't felt like crying once!!! I talked with my Dr. today and told her I have some concerns about the Paxil. She said there's a Paxil CR (?), but it's time released and she's not sure how I would digest it. She told me think thinks I'll do fine and wants me to stay with it for 3-6 mos. We'll see. My dr. has also WLS surgery so is pretty aware of some of the problems that can bring on as well. Thanks for your help and suggestions. I'm just starting the book and am totally looking forward to feeling better. Janie

Hi Janie. Sorry to hear about your depression. Been there, done that. I actually went off of Lexapro for depression and Buspar for anxiety last May. I had been on them for awhile. I think what helped me the most was my therapist. It really helps to talk with a professional. Are you seeing someone that way? Good luck, and keep us posted on how you are doing. There are a lot of people here who are praying for you. Peg

Thanks for all your replies. I'm having good days and bad days. It seems like more bad. Hopefully things will look up soon. In the past I'm sure I could have eaten my way through this. Now, I just plain don't eat. My dr. tells me she doesn't want me to lose more so I guess I'll have to force myself. I know I'm not going back to protein shakes -- can't stand them. Will have to find something I'm hungry for. Weight this morning was 135. I never would have guess in my wildes imagination I'd get there. I'm afraid to lose more, but don't want to gain either. I think it was easier being fat. Janie

Absolutely, but I was depressed pretty much all my life. Started doing some therapy this summer, then lost my insurance, hoping to start back up again this winter. Apparently I'm pretty messed up. HA! I've been taking Effexor (prozac made my anxiety really really bad) in the morning and Trazadone (another anti-depressant that helps to sleep) in the PM. I still cry for no reason and feel pretty crappy, but its much better. I was always (still am-hence not making goal yet) an emotional eater. Some days I get even more tearfull when all I want to do is eat so I can "feel better" and I can't. Sucks having to deal with sh**