Family....

Met my sister, her kids (all grown) and their husbands/wives, and kids today...haven't seen them in about 2 months... We hadn't been together more than 15 minutes, when they all started in on me that I am looking too thin...and how much lower do I want to go... Told them I am 12 lbs from my high goal and that I was comfortable with that...they started in on how thin I am through my neck/shoulders... We cooked out, had steaks and all the trimmings...they were all kidding me that they were going to save the largest steak for me.....to fatten me up... I know that they are not "jealous" of my loss...in fact, they have been very supportive... so, I am trying to figure out if they just don't "recognize" me as thinner, or if I am indeed at "goal"... I did mention to them that perhaps if they had not known me heavy, they would not think I am "thin".... they all disagreed.... My sister asked me what size I am...told her a solid size 10...she came back with....you don't look any bigger than an 8... oh well, time will tell..... I guess I am disappointed that I am not to goal yet, and folks are starting to get on me about how thin I am looking...but I really do believe that if they met me for the first time today, they would not think I am too thin.... I know other folks have had this same problem....thanks for letting me ponder this... Anyone have any good comebacks for folks who believe they are helping by pointing out that someone is too thin?? thanks RAE

Hi Rae. When I first starting reading your post, I originally thought that your family was just jealous of you; however, after rereading it, I really think that they must love you a lot and are concerned about you and your health. They have been there for you at your heaviest, and they are probably just concerned that you will go to the other extreme and get anorexic. I think about all you can do is to let them know that you hear their concern for you and that you know they love you very much. I would stress that you are committed to taking good care of your body and that you are under the care of a very competent, capable doctor who is monitoring your weight loss progress. I would stress that part, Rae. If they know that you really are healthy and are not going to the extreme, but rather are following "doctor's orders", they will hopefully give you a break. Regardless, you need to listen to yourself and do what is best for you. I sometimes think that we care just too darn much about what other people think...even well-intentioned family. Good luck, and do let us know how things are going for you. Peg

Rae, I could have written this post myself. My family tells me on a daily basis that I look anorexic. My brother told me to go out in the kitchen and drink two large glasses of milk and not the skim crap that I drink, whole milk so I put 40 lbs back on. My sister tells me don't come over if you do not have make up on. I too told my family that they just are not used to seeing me thin. My family has not been supportive of my journey and my friends who were are also getting concerned about my weight and keep inviting me out to dinner. I think they feel they are planning an intervention. I do not think they are jealous, just like my family is not jealous, I think they are just concerned for your health the same as mine. Just them that you feel great, you are letting your body handle your weight loss. I tell my family if I do not loose another lb, OK, but if I can loose 5 more, then so be it. Lori Starting weight 258 Goal weight 148 Current weight 146 Ultimate goal weight 140