My Surgiversary! I'm a toddler today!

Hello there my peeps, Today I am 1 year post op Being the introspective sort, of course I have very complicated feelings about it. There is of course the incredible joy of success. This year I have managed to maintain the 45lb loss I achieved pre-op down from 400+ at my highest. And further I have released from my body 169 lbs for a total of 214 lbs gone hopefully forever. There are several FEET less of me to love now. And I can breath and move in ways I never even knew possible. There is also a very humble blessed state of grace kind of feeling - so many suffer with obestity for so long. And I never really saw how much I was suffering. I feel not regret - because that's my gig - but rather just simple sorrow that I didn't understand sooner how much I had given up to the monster of food addiction. I never really understood the costs until I was set free from them. And now I feel so incredibly grateful for my continued health and wellness that I don't quite know what to do with myself. I'm finally starting to come into my own about owning my new thin healthy body. I'm able to see it more clearly, and I LOVE IT! I feel more sexy than I ever have my entire life. I love the ways that I can move this newly tiny body. And even with the hanging skin I feel great about the way I look(even with all my stupid human tricks ). And not that I'm incredibly stuck on myself - but the attention I get now tells me that more people find me attractive than I ever possibly could have concieved of before. Its actually quite disturbing - but humbling and very flattering too. I am learning so many new things about our culture - like the way that thin people are treated and revered - it can be MAJORLY overwhelming and kind of disgusting. I'm mostly the same girl I was 214 lbs ago. . .some things have changed but the core identity I held then is the same one I have now. It can be pretty infuriating that now suddenly people take what I have to say at face value. . . One of the strangest things that I am dealing with is how losing weight impacts the workplace - There is something pretty odd to me about the way men will give chase even in the officeplace. And they're barking up the wrong tree with this girly anyway. . .(if you didn't know. . .I only date GIRLS ) Today I'm allowed by my food plan to have a drinky treat. I don't really have any plans to do so yet, but it's kind of weird to have that freedom again. Someday soon perhaps I'll have to toast one. Truth be told, I haven't really missed it, so I wonder how important it is to even really mark that milestone for me. Well, now I'm just babbling - but I'm incredibly thankful. This has been the strangest most incredible year of my life. I am so grateful for all the people who have shared their journey with me that I might learn from them I am so thankful to all those who have gone before me and paved the way I'm so proud of the people I have seen go through this same journey with grace and dignity. This journey is many things, and easy ain't one of them. But this has been the most REWARDING decision I have ever made. I finally have freedom from my most terrifying addiction - food. And I have to work out every day. And I have to eat well and properly every day. And I don't get to make any excuses or I lose all this beautiful success. But, today I'm choosing life, just like I did one year ago today. This is my road less traveled by. . .and indeed it has made all the difference. I wish you love, peace and comfort wherever you are on your journey. Love, ~Lara Lap RNY 4-1-04 Preop High 400+ (Men's size 56 jeans, size 5x/6x shirts) Surgery Weight 355 (Women's size 30/32 jeans, size 3x/4x shirts) Current Weight 186-188 (BELOW GOAL of 190) Women's size 10 jeans, Size M/L shirts) 6'3" tall Dr Drew - Abbott NW Minneapolis

CONGRATS to you! I am so excited for the successes you have had - I always love reading your posts & love the insight you give to situations. You have been such an inspiration to me ... I want you to know that As I come up on my 1 year soon - it is a great feeling to know that we are all in the same boat & that we all understand & appreciate the things we have, the things we want & the things we gave up to be here together ... and what a great bonus it is to be able to share this part of our journey together ... Here is to another GREAT year! XOXO Sue 318/176/160

Thanks Sue! If my words have helped you, for that I am grateful. I am so blessed to have the people on this site to share my journey with. Bring on year 2! I'm ready for this mutha ~Lara

Way to go - April baby numero uno! Who woulda thunk it - right? You entire post makes perfect sense to me. While I enjoy this new sense of self - it IS bizarre how others now take notice of me when before I was merely avoided. Anyway - onward and upward, err, downward, err?! CHEERS! Beth Being *****y and unstable is all part of my mystique. http://meltingmama.blogspot.com/ 313/298/144/130

Lara ~~ I loved your post and am soooo congratulating you on your losses. I wish I could write so eloquently (and it's obvious that I can't). You say the things we all feel in words I can't put them into. Will you write my thoughts on my birthday too!! ha ha.. Congrats again and where we've come from and road we're continuing down. Janie

Lara, nicely put... You have done outstanding and I am so very proud of you, thank you to you for sharing your journey with all of us. Mechelle 283/157/140