Self-Sabotage?

Why am I doing this....old habits came back yesterday. I had a horrible day at work and to punish whoever (myself mainly) I ate a TWIX candy bar 27g of sugar on the way home from work, to comfort myself just like I used to do, this time the only difference it was 1 candy bar not 6 or 7. To make a long story short, I am so at myself for doing that. I realize it is an emotional trigger but I haven't done that for over a year now. What is even more scary is now I'm afraid my tool is broken. I never even dumped.......not even nausea that was 27g of sugar. I am totally freakin out. I'm soooo very upset at myself for doing that but mainly because I didn't dump. This is way to much for me to handle right now. What's next, back to chocolate cakes....gaining all my weight back. Please let me know if any of you have or are going through this same fear right now. Thanks Sissy 280/166/????

Sissy, although you did not dump. i bet it was just a shock to your sugar deprived body and that is why nothing happened, I bet if you were to try to do this again you would have a major dumping event. Donna

I have to admit I have done the same thing! It is horrible! Don't be so down on yourself. Life happens to us!!! I do DUMP bad when I have done it so it is a big detourant for me. I catch myself handing my 2 year old a cheeto and putting the other on in my mouth. It has been hard latley to stay in control. I have to forgive myself and get back to it! Good luck!!! Trina~

Thanks Trina - It has been so hard lately to stay in control. I thought it would be easier until I reached the 18 month window.....wrong. Forgive myself for today, love myself again tomorrow Sissy

Sissy, When did you eat the candy bar? I guess I am asking because it depends when you work....regular hours? shift work? did you eat it this morning and still have an opportunity to dump? Yes, I have done it and didn't dump with m & m's. but, i do dump with some stuff. Chin up, Joan

((((((Sissy)))))))) I can't be trusted, I can't have candy near me. I do dump, but not until damage has already been done. Since December, there hasn't been a stitch of chocolate near my house, because I just wanted it constantly. (Apparently nobody told my body that I'm not eating any anymore, because I haven't lost weight SINCE, but that's a different issue. ) I read a disturbing, at the least statistic the other day, 85% of gastric bypass patients regain at least 1/2 of the excess weight back. I was completely shocked to read that. I am certain none of us wants to be part of that statistic. We're all doing so well RIGHT now, but what about five years from now... will we? It's so scary. Think of what we've done to our bodies to lose the weight. We are changed, forever.... this is a life-long .... A piece of candy here and there won't hurt, but if you're like me, it's just asking for trouble, and asking for more. You're already aware that if it didn't make you sick, you might be able to push the envelope next time and have more, or something different...so it's time to trick your mind... start thinking about food like that negatively...visualize it in a bad way... like me with the fried-chicken descriptions for my husband....He doesn't eat it anymore, I get a little weepy when I see that Twix commercial.. with the guy sitting on the couch, UNTIL, his wife comes in and says "Do I look fat?" Then, I giggle, cuz he stuffs it in his face.... What I wouldn't do for a Kit-Kat.....::sobs:: But, what I wouldn't do to be thin, either now... You had the candy in the car, right? Major trigger eating place..... maybe stock your car with non-perishable snacks and chewy foods to get your mouth craving satisfied... without allowing the sugar-monster to get you.... What about gum? SF mints? Drinks? When I get an insane urge (today, lunchtime, pasta...) I stick a piece of Orbit Bubblemint Gum in my mouth... then, I cannot eat something, and my urge can pass... it helps... not all the time, but in desperation!! -beth

gurl please know ur not alone. i think it's b/c we're approaching that one year that our bodies are accepting more. i feel the same way an have done the same thing too. ma body does what it wants. over the holidayz i discovered cholate chip cookies didn't make me dump and i ate too many however i recently ate a bite or two of one an it made ma stomack uncomfortable. so our tool does what it wants when it wants. like somedayz i can eat much more than i can others. i thinks it's our pouches way of balancing out everything. anywhoo that's ma 2 cents. but know that ur not alone. blessings .

Hi Sissy, I am really sorry you are having a run of it. Step back and look at yourself, you are beautiful, you have done wonderful with the new tool. Your stats are great. Give yourself a break ( don't mean from how we should be eating) remember we are only human and we mess up sometimes. The trick is to acknowledge the mistake and get back to the way things should be. You are highly aware of the emotional trigger you had and you WILL control it the next time it rears it's face. Maybe keep a low carb sugar free yummy, of course chocoloate bar on hand for those occasions. I don't think that I would worry about not dumping. I don't think that I would have dumped either. I haven't really had that happen. I would not like to find out though. I also don't think that we can ruin our pouch by 1 time of eating a candy bar. Probably habitual abuse but not the one timer. So breath easy and remember to pat yourself on the back. You are doing wonderful. Mechelle 283/169.5/140

First Sissy...here is a big (((((((((hug))))))))), I totally know how you feel. My sabotaging ways go way deep. But you've got to keep it in perspective. You said yourself...once in 1year and only one candy not 6!!!! That my dear is an accomplishment not a failure. Pick yourself up by your successes! You hit a bump...remeber with our tool, every moment is another moment to make a better decision! I know its tough...I've never dumped...but this tool does help! Hang in there sweety...focus on the positive! Hugs, Rachel