my daughter hates me skinny-Rant!

Nine pounds until I meet my goal, my clothes falling off me, I am tired of wearing hand-me-downs, so I went out yesterday and bought my first brand new outfit since May. I went to Old Navy and got a pair of size 10 low waist pants. Honestly, I probably could have gone with the size 8 as far as my waist, but my thighs still carry most of my weight. My daughter looked at the pants and said, in the meanest tone, size 10, I hate you, you are a B&%$ch. If she would have known I wore her pants the other day to work, she would have flipped. I am about 10-15 lbs heavier than her and she hates the attention I am getting. Plus I noticed that she is getting back fat and I really gave her hell about portion control and eating junk food. The other night she tried on a size 9 bikini and I told her to go to an 11 and she flipped out. My daughter wore a 5-6 until this past summer and now she is pushing wearing an 9-10. She is built like me, has a big butt (well I don't anymore) small waist, and small chest (at least I do now) Since day one I have not gotten one ounce of support from my family with my decision to have WLS. Just when I am feeling good about my body someone has to make a remark that I am too skinny, that my eyes look tired, that I should be stabilizing my weight now not loosing, you are becoming anorexic and I know you do not eat. I swear I am going to spit nails if someone says one more mean thing about me. I wanted to take pictures of me since I have lost weight and only one was taken back in September. My mother said why do want a picture taken, you are so vain and you love yourself too much. Oh please! I look in the mirror and I still see me fat, I know I have lost weight but I do not see the dramatic results that others do. I have lost 101 lbs, I went from wearing a size 20 to a size 8-10. I eat right, exercise, take my vitamins and drink my fluids and someone has to steal my thunder and be negative. My wonderful boyfriend broke up with me three weeks ago, well put it this way his mother broke up with me and he will not answer my calls, and his mother made the remark that he does not want me because I am not skinny, he wants someone petite. That went through me like a knife. Especially since I lost 31 lbs since he and I started dating (188-157) that is another story. Why can't people celebrate our success or at least my family. This jealousy is driving me insane, and is hurting me emotionally. If it were not for the WLS family and the monthly support group meeting, I would be nuts. I am already half there. I did not have WLS to get attention, I did it to get healthy physically and emotionally. My personal goal is to weigh 148, but I would love to weigh 140. Days like this when the people around me won't celebrate my success make me feel like I won't meet that goal. Thanks for letting me digress. Lori 258/157/148

((((((((((((((((((Lori)))))))))))))))))))))))) I am just shocked. Why can people be so cruel?! But...teenagers can be exceptionally cruel... I remember how nasty girls back in school were about weight issues... and how nasty I could be to my own mom sometimes... moody, witchy... Just remember that about your daughter... she's probably excessively aware of her body right now, and very self-conscious, and used to having a chubby mom... not a hot mom, KWIM? My kids are little, so it's very different... they don't exactly get it.... The only thing I can suggest is that maybe make your weight a non-issue for a while, especially around her... goodness knows you wouldn't want her to develop an eating disorder or something thinking she's in competition with you, you know? My mom is very supportive to me now, we're actually the exact same weight and size right now, since she's lost weight along with me, she was at her highest weight of about 190 a few months back... and had enough of it... so I got HER hand me downs! Not anymore, since we're the same size, but it was cool while it lasted! She's done losing weight, she's comfortable where she is, and it falls well on her. I've been lucky that I've yet to hear one nasty thing. Perhaps because there's two of us here going through the same thing, and people are just more in awe of the changes?! I don't know... I'd be so upset if someone was nasty to me about my weight loss. ((hugs)) -beth 'How puzzling all these changes are,' said Alice. 'I'm never sure what I am going to be from one minute to another. However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing is to get into that beautiful garden.' HW- 313 SW- 298 CW- 155 GW- 130 http://meltingmama.blogpsot.com/

Lori, Wow...that is about the only thing I can say. I will pray for your family. I am truly sorry that you don't have the support you need and that your daughter is threatened by your weight loss. I agree with the last post...maybe try to stay off topic.... I could say try this and try that because I do have ideas but I don't want to be a pain. In October I went to a weight loss summit and listened to one of the speakers talk about changes and such we go through as WLS patients. Also in the discussion was other people...specifically that there will be someone out there...whether a friend or a family member that is used to you being the FAT one in the group....and will BECOME the fat one when you lose. Sounds like your daughter is worried about being the FAT one. Sad..............................but interesting, and good information to have. Blessings and try to have a good day, JH JH

{{{{{{Lori}}}}}}} I'm so sorry you are not getting the support you deserve! The bottom line is.... people don't like change and some of them with fight is tooth and nail all the way. You changing is rocking their world and they don't know how to deal with it. Maybe you could try to spend more time with people from your support group. You need more positive in your life so that you can be shored up for the negative when it comes. You are doing the best thing for yourself and you deserve to celebrate it - with or without your friends and family. You are worth doing this! Don't let them distract you from your goal! You don't need them! We love you here! Ronda

Lori, I'm so sorry to hear all of this. I really feel your pain your family has caused. I know this is hard to hear but I really think their actions have nothing to do with the new (and fabulous!) you but with their insecurities and issues. It sounds like your daughter may have some food demons of her own to rectify and it's easy to take it out on mom now that she looks great and has solved her problems. Try to work with her. But, try not to make her feel bad or yell at her about it. You remember how bad that felt when you were heavy and how it didn't help, don't you? The boyfriend - I don't know much about the situation - but it sounds like you're better off without him! No one in their right mind is going to leave someone b/c they are too heavy or too skinny. That's just his cop-out for something else he can't deal with - probably change. The bright side is - look at your self-confidence now - you can start to support yourself. You now know how powerful you are and can be. Imagine how you would have reacted 90 lbs ago. Be a positive role model for them and give them the support they don't give you. Maybe they'll be able to learn. Also, tell them exactly what you need. Then at least you know you did all you can. Best of luck. Tandi 246-151-7lbs to goal

Lori You just hang in there. My husband doesn't really give me alot of support either. He's always saying I'm going to leave him. Pffff! If I was gonna do that I would have done it years ago. LOL I've got him mostly trained now. It would be too hard to break in another one. My 21 year old daughter is pretty supportive too. She tells me she is looking forward to wearing my clothes. It will give her a whole new wardrobe to pick from. LOL You might want to remind your daughter that 2 wardrobes are better than one. BTW, You can always come here and celebrate your weightloss with us. You've done wonderful and you should be proud of your major success. Hopefully your friends and family will get used to the change. It's all new to them right now. Best Regards! Donna 339/189/130 well the 189 kinda flips and flops to 191 but I'm sticking with the 189.