SEX Question..

I know we have a sex board, but you are my surgery buddies going through same things I am on a month to month basis..so I needed to ask you. I love my husband so much, but since surgery..I just haven't even been in the mood for sex even slightly.I don't want him to feel that it's him or his fault..It's not..I just have no libido. I have talked to my OB/gyn , and asked about my perscription meds..Like synthroid or prozac.. I was on prozac prior to surgery and I never had a problem with my sexual libido.. but then I was put on synthroid and I now have no desire what so ever. he said he doubts the synthroid has anything to do with it because it is a natural hormone.He said if anything it is the prozac.. I explained to him I didn't ave a problem before WLS and he said maybe because I have lost so much weight it is beginning to effect me differently.. He said he can take me off of it.. I said NO WAY.. I have to have my Prozac( PMDD) I am a total biotch without it..to everyone.. Gotta have it.. so he told me to wait and see how things progress.. we'll that was a while back.. I have had intestinal problems so I was wondering if maybe that could have made me feel less sexual.. you know being constipated for ever.. kinda puts a damper on things.. but I have been pooping lately .. we'll on my own for the past 2 weeks..YAY.. and I am beginning to have thoughts.. yep sexuall ones.. But I don't act on them.. but it's a beginning right? I'm tired of trying to make excuses for a lost libido and was wondering if any of my april peers have been going through a little sexual dysfunction as well? Geez,I remember during the physc exam prior to surgery the Doc said if we ween't addicted to food we would cling to something else..like sex,drugs,alcohol or work.. I haven't clinged to nothing.. we'll my computer and this web site..LOL Help!!! anyone feel the same?

I am sad to admit I feel the same way! My poor hubby thinks I am so beautiful & wants to be intimate & I have no desire! I feel like such a horriable person & if anyone out there has any suggestions I am open to them! You are not the only one suffering Sue 317.5/207/180(or less)

thanks Sue, I just feel like you..Like a horrible person. I hate saying,,No not right now.. stop.. yadda yadda yadda. He also loves me and doesn't understand.. he has gained a few pounds too since he has to eat what I don't LOL But that's not the problem..It's kinda reversed feeling hearing him say.. "you think I am fat, and I don't turn you on anymore" funny..but that's just not it..

Hey Lisa if you find out let me know. I feel the same way but... I did prior to surgery too. I no longer take my anti depressents so I don't believe it is that. I'd certainly love to have a magic pill. My husband is umm hornier than ever with the weightloss. I could really care less about sex. I'm ready for the female viagra. Oh and I know what my obsessions now are.... Clothes and the scales.

OH Donna you got me there..I love shopping too.. And clothes,makeup and jewelry!! what an obsession huh? My husband is hornier than ever too..sometimes it makes me nauseas to even think about sex..NOT with him just Sex in general.. I thought at 33 I would be hitting my sexual peak..NOT THE CASE AT ALL.. hmmm what about that afferill they talk about on TV..by perscription? Maybe I should ask myOB/GYN? If you hear of anyting ..let me know too

Oh, Lisa! I can soooo understand! My libido went bye bye with my big boobies. I am just now starting to get that twinkle back in my eye. My hubby thinks that it is him, since he now dwarfs me (I was once 100 lbs more than him, now almost 100 less than him). It isn't! I just keep reassuring him that it is all me!!!! We are on such an emotional, hormonal, physical, and mental rollercoaster that if we didn't get a little weird about some things, I would be worried! My PCP put me on Lexapro, and leet me tell ya! W-hooooo!!! It doesn't have the sexual side effects that I had experienced before while taking Prozac and Zoloft (for PPD). I love it! Also, not that I am encouraging this, but I had a little wine last week and turned into a complete floozy....It made me think that my inhibitions were squashed at the time. I noticed that normally, I am so worried about the skin, the sagging everything, and the fact I don't feel attractive to ME...all without thinking that hubby finds me attractive, no matter what. I felt free.... I am NOT promoting wine, just the fact that the inhibitions that may be holding us back do not make one iota of difference to our partners!!!! They found us beautiful with all of the chins and rolls, and they will find us beautiful with sagging boobies and slapping skin. I think we need to be comfy with ourselves before we can be comfy in such an intimate situation with another person.... Janice tripping off my box, falling over my boobs, and fallling face down in a puddle....laughing all the way!!! Wheeeeee!

I too feel the same way. I have no desire to make love to my husband and I feel just horrible. I thought it was just me. I'm glad that others feel the same way too. Rebecca

Lisa and everyone else.... Boy, this is obviously a hot topic! ;) I can also relate. I think that our bodies are basically recovering from what it may perceive as a life-threatening injury - everything is out of whack and trying to get back in balance, healing, etc... One of the things that I decided a couple of months ago was that even though I didn't feel like "it" I wanted to resume more regular sex with my dh. To begin with, I really felt like he needed it - to offset those self-doubts that he was starting to have, to give him the physical release that he needs and also because I wanted to increased the amount of intimacy in our marriage. I explained was that I wasn't completely feeling everything like I had at times in the past and I didn't know exactly why but that I loved him and wanted to be sexual with him. To that end he needed to get over his romantic ideas about everytime for me being wonderful and a "trip to the moon" LOL and that sometimes we could just go for it and that would be okay with me. I needed both of us to let go of some of the expectations. What I've found is that we are having sex more often, he is more attentive and more relaxed and that the act of having sex is actually increasing my sexual feelings. "Fake it till you make it" has worked for me. I will say that I'm still not as horny as I have been in the past but honestly it's been several years since I felt that way, since before the kids for the most part. Unfortunately I think that this is pretty common for alot of women, and for us in particular. I say, if you are having even small sexual thoughts and feelings you should act on them. Your dh will appreciate it and you might enjoy it alot more than you expect! LOL I hope that as we heal and get healthier that this will turn around and I definitely hope to talk to my GYN about this at our next appointment. On a side note, since surgery my PCOS (very irregular periods, etc...) has gone into remission so I know that something different with my hormones. I guess that's to be expected when you lose 100lbs, right? So...I guess I'm suggesting that you let your dh rub your back, calves, etc...whatever makes you feel good then return the favor and do something to help him feel good about your relationship...you might be surprised that it isn't that bad and though you may not have reach O it might set the wheels in motion for the next day or two. Worth a try? LOL Aylene lap RNY 4/13/04 278.8/170/150ish

Wow! Guess I'm alone on this one. I'm ummm....errrr...well...randier (does anyone really use that word anymore?) than ever! My hubby gets it on a regular basis. Which after 3 years of nearly nothing...he's a happy man! But I did want to say that I take synthroid and I can't say it has ever effected me sexually either way! Good luck to all you ladies! Rachel

Nope- I'm randy dandy too. I want it way more than before. That's not to say it happens nearly as much as it should, but if we had more private time, it would... our kids just get in the way and don't sleep enough! But, we're both post-ops--- I know that makes a BIG (pun intended) difference. -Beth 313/298/158/130 & DH by default, who is now: 360+/340/220/175