Love On the Rocks

Hi there, Anyone else having problems in their relationship? We've been sailing along now for 7 months, dealing with the various slings and arrows of life, when suddenly . . .I get close to her weight. Now everything i****ting the skids. Ultimately, while I am very upset that I may end up losing a relationship over this (one that has been very wonderful and fullfilling) I am still not sorry that I have chosen this path of taking care of myself. I am hopeful that she's going to get over her jealousy sometime very soon. But as it is her problem, all I can do right now is be patient. I'm not going to run from this relationship, but I'm not going to take any of her crap either. ("Hugging you hurts now that you're so boney." "When you dress like that you look like a hooker." "No, those shirts aren't baggy you're just being over anxious to be smaller" - this last one only happened when it was her sized clothing that it is time to put on - etc. . . .) I'm done with nasty commentary! I'm working with my therapist, I'm talking to my friends. Either she's going to come around or she won't, but in the interest of being honest on my journey, I wanted to share my struggle to find out if anyone else out there is going through this. I wish you all the best, ~Lara

Lara- I don't really have much input on this particular subject, because my husband actually went through the gastric bypass along with me. We were both morbidly obese, so we're both shrinking away. I don't have an ounce of jealously towards him... (except - perhaps that he isn't dealing with as much flapping skin as I am!! ) And, I assume he doesn't have any jealousy towards me.. I think he enjoys seeing me getting positive attention from others now. {{{{{Lara}}}}} I hope she sees that you're growing into a more beautiful person (not to mention HEALTHY) and it's making you a better person for her to be with!! Beth

Thank you Beth! I hope she comes to her senses soon. . .or just lets me go. either way I just want to be happy. If she can't love me for who I am, then it is better just to set me free. I really don't know what I want anymore. . .I don't know how much more of all her stuff I can stand. Hold your DH close, and tell him you appreciate him. *sniffle* I'll be ok. . .it just really sucks right now. . .I feel like I'm in limbo and I don't like it one bit. Thanks for the huggles, ~Lara

::Update:: I talked with her tonight - she called me. We sorted through some miscommunications and some misunderstandings. I urged her to start talking with someone about what she's going through and offered her the resources I have to help. She really listened to me, and ultimately the decision is her's to make regarding that. After talking through the tough stuff, we were able to relax and giggle together again. By the end of the conversation I remembered exactly why I'm standing beside this person - beautiful and flawed. It's not a perfect arrangement, but I have hope again. And she's worth it! (I was beginning to worry - I'd been waiting all day for a sign) This surgery thing changes you so much, and it impacts those around you so much. I would do it again in a HEARTBEAT - but man alive - any ***** who wants to give me the "easy way out" speech anytime soon. . .well pity them :wink: I am incredibly grateful for your love and compassion, ~Lara