(sigh) lonely day

Hi all, I'm just having a really lonely day...I haven't had one of these in a LONG time. I just feel like I have no one, hubby isn't around as usual, he's a work-aholic. He just doesn't have much time for the kids and I ( or so it feels today) I haven't seen him since yesterday morning, he's just busy doing things for everyone but me. I sometimes feel that the only way I can get his attion is to grow a penis and buy a tractor....that needs some work. (he works on tractors, or trucks, or pretty much anything people bring to him). I am also finding myself eating more today...but at least I know why i'm doing it and they are better choices. OK get this I went in to town yesterday to get my oil changed (because hubby wants to charge me to do it I take it to some where else and pay them) any ways he knows that I had surgery and asked me how much I had lost. I told him 65 lbs. and he said "oh I just asked Richad (my hubby) and he told me you had lost 45 lbs.....does that tell you how much my hubby is around and how much he notices me? Ok sorry to vent, I'm just having my own pitty party and am looking for friends to join me. Thanks for listening Katie

Hi Katie, I feel you! My husband is 6ft and 125lbs. He says that he notices the weight loss, but doesn't want to ask about it, so I don't feel bad! Don't get me wrong he has been so supportive through all of the complications! I love him, but I think people that have never had a weight problem just don't understand! I have lost 48lbs (wishing for more!) He just noticed that I wrote a LARGE check for some NEW ME clothes!!! LOL Jokes on him!!!!!

Hi Trina, Thanks for your words of understanding. My hubby has been very indifferent about this whole thing. It just drives me nuts! He came in for supper and talked about work the whole time, and I just sat there, he was just talking to hear himself, I didn't say a word.....then he didn't even thank me for supper.... Isn't shopping FUN!!! On the good side, I've had this red dress (size 12) in my closet for 7+ years...it still looks good and is even in style......I tried it on and and can get it buttoned up...I can't breath, or sit but I can button it which is more than I've been able to do in years!!! Katie

Here's some big hugs for your lonely day!! Sounds like you're having a tough time. I think growing a penis is really a bad idea (it drops your IQ at least 50 points!). hahaha Have you tried talking to your husband (maybe wearing a John Deere hat?) Seriously, does he know how you feel? Men are often dense and don't relate emotionally. Make sure you take good care of yourself. Find the things that you enjoy and spend extra time doing them. Go to the movies, read a book or just take a long bubblebath. Access your support people and lean on them a little, I'm sure they've leaned on you in the past. Take good care, Phyllis

you're right....growing a penis is a bad idea.....I like being able to think with my brain! However I've always wanted to write my name in the snow...... I've tried talking to him he just thinks I want to spend every waking moment with him...he just doesn't want to do anything unless he benifits from it. (which he would ...if you know what i mean) but he hasn't figured it out yet. thanks for the hug...I needed that Katie

I'm sorry you are having a rough go of it. My husband (though he tries to be supportive), is tall and thin and just doesn't get it. He would be somewhat embarassed if someone asked him about my surgery directly (with me not around). He would just rattle of some number of lbs lost to move the conversation on. What can you do. Hope things start looking up! ((((HUGS)))) Rachel

Katie, Don't be so hard on your husband.All men are dense, but he may be having some difficulty adjusting to the new you. with more than 70lbs gone, he sudsdenly has to worry about things that a few months ago he didn't for example,maybe he'sworried that once you've lost your weight, you'll leave him. Get his attention be sitting on a tractor with nothin' else on....

Katie - I see you live in Harmony, MN. I work in Winona, MN and live in Trempealeau, WI. Where/who did your surgery. There is a monthly support meeting in LaCrosse, WI the last Thursday of the month. If you want to get together, let me know. My work email is [email protected]. Please know I'm thinking of you. Robin

Hi Robin- My husband hauls corn to Winona and sometimes Lacrosse. How far is Trempealeau from there? what do you do for a living? I had my surgery in Rochester at Mayo. Dr Kendrick did it...He is SO nice and has such good bed side mannor! I wish I could make it to one of the meetings, but I work every thursday. (wed, thur, fri this week and thur fri next week... etc...12 hr shifts) from 10am-10pm...I may have to look in to trading with someone. Where did you have your surgery done? Thank you for thinking of me...just a side note I'm having a much better day today. I just wonder if I didn't need to get back to work and see some of my co-buddies (co-workers) it being summer time i spend my days off totally entertaining kids and cleaning...don't get me wrong i love it...but sometimes you need a break, know what I mean? Kids are 7yo boy 5yo girl, and 2yo boy. I would like to get togeather though, even if it's not for a meeting it would be fun i think. Katie Katie

Katie - Glad to hear you're doing better. Trempealeau is about 15 minutes from Winona (over the bridge, take a right). I had my surgery with Dr. Kothari at Gundersen Lutheran (LaCrosse). He's wonderful. He did a year-long internship to learn how to do this surgery Lap. He also set the program at Gundersen up from scratch. I've been very pleased with his "team" approach. I went back to work one week after my surgery (1/2 days) cause I knew I'd go crazy if I didn't. It helped me emotionally a lot to get back into the swing of things right away. I "mourned" the first couple of weeks, missing my old lifestyle...now I can't imagine living that way anymore. My daughter is 5 years old, adopted 4 years ago from China. I love her dearly but could never be a stay-at-home mom. Those people who can (like my sister) I give a lot of credit to cause there's no way I could stay home with her. I love her dearly, but also need adult/work stimulation. Please feel free to email me. I'd love to get together. I'm in Winona everyday for work. We could always get together for supper some night. Robin