04/06 Date: Crying: Freaking: Anxiety: What the Hell???

Jamie - I'm truly sorry you're experiencing the varying emotions. Most people I've known to go through WLS have these wacky things going on with them. I've narrowed my wackiness to the control issue. No one is in control of me except ME. That's the one thing that really bothers me about this surgery...........for a couple of hours, I won't be in control of what's going on. I will be relying on God heavily those two hours to guide my surgeon's hands. That's the only thing that eases my anxiety. Best wishes and prayers are sent your way. Keep a positive attitude and you'll be home before you know it!! Peace be yours.

Just wanted to thank all of you for sharing! My date is not until 4-26-04, and I am finding that I am having trouble sleeping at night. All day long I concentrate on the positive, then at night.... it really gets to me and the tears start. I have a three year old, and the thought of, well, it is unbareable for me. I too am really trying to concentrate on the positive and not dwell on the what if's. I am trying to find peace in my faith in God and his Will. I am just glad to know, that this part of the process is all normal, and others are feeling the same way. I appreciate the online community of WLS. Sometimes living as the "fat" person all my life I felt very alone. I can get on these boards, and feel the human spirit at it's finest. For the first time, I have this common bond with so many people, and when I get to the losing side, I want to continue to stay involved and help those who are feeling the way we all are now, scared, anxious, excited....

Jamie; OMG!! I'M NORMAL!! My surgery is on the 6th as well. Originally it was supposed to be 2/23, but my surgeon postponed due to his agenda...not mine. The week before my original date I was EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU ARE!! I couldn't understand it either...I was crying at the drop of a hat and my skin was as thin as paper emotionally. And I was scared to death! I went into chat for a couple of days and it helped. Of course we're going to feel this way. Even though we are excited about our new life, we are grieving the loss of our old habits...the safe ones...the ones that we thought were nuturing to us. We are also losing that "suit of armor" that protects us from getting hurt emotionally. We are totally changing our lives. That's scarey!! And it's sad too! It's actually very healthy that you are feeling this way. It obviously needs to come out. About two days after I chatted and felt a little better I got the news that my surgery had been postponed. I thought..Oh no...am I going to have to go through this again when I get my new date??? Unlike you, it has taken over two years to make this happen for me. It's been one stumbling block after another. Since I got my new date (the same day as you) I've been much calmer and I think it's because I already dealt with a lot of the grieving process...saying goodbye to my old self. I'm sure I'll be nervous as h____ the night before and morning of...but at this point I just want it to be over with and won't believe it's happening until I'm on the table! Just accept your emotions. They are a part of you. You'll stop when you're ready. Coming here will really help too. Our support group here at AMOS has been incredible throughout my ups and downs. I'm sure you have been supportive to many people here since you joined . Please feel free to email me if you want. We're date buddies!!

First of all, Thanks to every single one of you who have reached out to me and helped. I sincerely appreciate it. I actually went over to one of my bariatric buddys house last night for some moral support and it helped.. alot! After about nine panic attacks.. 7 tantrums, and 5 xanax.. I seem to be back to normal.. and have moved on to the "ohhhhh so excited" mode! I feel so much better today. I went to target but loads of new pajamas ( all one size smaller just for motivation) finished stocking my cabinets with soup! Rented a bunch of chic flicks and I am doing so much better.. I guess it was just a little anxiety. I only have 3 days left and life is looking so much better than yesterday... Now tomorrow maybe a whole nother story.. Ha ha..