what do i say?

what do i say to my co-workers about me being gone for six weeks. i don't want to tell everyone that i am having the surgery, i feel it is my business. what would you say?

It is your personal business and you don't have to explain. If they know you're going to be out for six weeks, I am sure they are thinking it may be a big surgery like a Hysterectomy. Most people will respect your wish of just not sharing. Others may just come out and ask. You should be ready for that. I personally decided to share with anyone who asked. My reasoning was the more prayers- the better. I was surprised by how many were very supportive. Karen Open RxY Sch. Apr 2 04

I have asked myself the same question. While I will tell folks I will be out on medical leave, I have been VERY quiet about the real reason I am having surgery, telling only a few people. I am torn because the weight loss (hopefully ) will be immediate and I will drop weight very fast compared to conventional diets....I don't want anyone to think I have some horrific disease or condition. Folks probably will think I am having some type of female surgery since I am not sharing. But, I am still torn if folks ask...do I tell? or not tell? I wish we could use the Don't Ask, Don't Tell rule but I guess that doesn't work into office politics. If anyone has any good ideas, I am interested. RAE

VENETIA, NOW I KNOW WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY IS NOT GOING TO BE POPULAR WITH SOME BUT, I DON'T SEE WHY PEOPLE ARE NERVOUS TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT THEIR WLS?! I HAVE A FRIEND THAT WANTED IT TO BE KEPT SECRET, AND I ASKED HER WHY AND SHE SAID BECAUSE IT IS NOBODY'S BUISNESS. WELL, OK, BUT, WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO FEEL LIKE I NEED TO HIDE THIS WONDERFUL THING I AM DOING TO CHANGE AND IMPROVE MY LIFE. IF I WERE GETTING A NEW KIDNEY IT WOULD BE MAJOR NEWS, OR SOMETHING TO THAT MATTER. BUT, I AM GOING TO SAVE MY LIFE AND MAKE MY LIFE WORTH LIVING AGIAN AND I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT PEOPLE KNOWING? WHATEVER! MY NEW LIFE IS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT FROM THIS ONE I AM STILL IN TILL APRIL. I AM NOT GOING TO HIDE ANYMORE. ALSO, I FEEL THAT PEOPLE WHO MADE COMMENTS, WHETHER BEHIND OUR BACKS OR TO OUR FACES ABOUT OUR WEIGHT, ARE STILL GONNA HAVE THEIR COMMENTS, AND WE WILL NEVER CHANGE THEM. AND WHY IS IT THAT WE EVEN CARE? WE ARE GOING TO BE NEW IMPROVED PEOPLE, BE LOUD AND BE PROUD. HOPE THIS HELPS, IF NOT THAT IS OKAY TOO! LOVES AND HUGS!!!! GOOD LUCK ON WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO!

When I first got a point where I needed to let my employer know I'd be off work for surgery, I decided not to tell why. I said it was because I didn't want everyone knowing my business, but the truth is I didn't want to hear any comments about my being weak or taking the easy way out, and I didn't want to give anyone the chance to talk me out of surgery. Eventually one of my co-workers guessed correctly what I was doing and once the secret was out I felt no need to hide it anymore. I've found people to be very supportive, and I've also been surprised to find how many people are watching my journey too see if it's right for them. Bottom line- do what's most comfortable for you. Take care!

Everyone, I agree with all/any ideas, and still am trying to decide which track is best for me. I have a problem with thinking that as I turn around folks will be measuring the width of my ass....grin....In my mind, it makes a great cartoon.... Everyone smiling telling me I look great, telling me that surgery was obviously a good choice, then being rude and asking how much weight I have lost....and as I turn around, someone whips out a tape measure to get the latest width of my butt.... you know, like the undertakers in the old west movies.... Yes, I have a very active imagination!! RAE

My name is mary and I have found my coworkers to be very supportive! Everybody is different and alot of it depends on how close you are to the people you work with. If you do not tell them then they may worry about you. Telling the people you are close to may be a good idea so that they can dispell any rumors ie... that you have a dreadful illness. Don't be afraid to let people know you are haveing weight loss surgery you will be surprised how very supportive they can be.

Good Morning Venetia, I chose the best of both worlds. I have told my work-friends (i.e. the people who love me and support me in my personal life as well as in the office) that I am having RNY, I have told my colleauges (i.e. those I work with on a regular basis) that I am having surgery and not really opening the reason why up for discussion. I just say, I'm having surgery, don't worry, I'm ok. People are more scared than anything. For me it was a decision based on the fact that I need positive loving support right now, and do NOT need any negitivity around this. I think it will soon become quite apparent to anyone paying attention what kind of surgery I had. LOL! I like having some folks at work know, especially my lunch buddies. They have been great about asking questions, ensuring that I have enough support, and letting me vent about my hiccups along the path. Do what is best for you, and what makes sense for your office climate/culture. Best of luck, ~Lara Lap RNY-distal 4-1-04 400/355/goal of 260

Hi Venetia. I got a surgery date (4/12) sooner than i thought i would. I was approved really quick.I went straight to my boss and told him what i had planned. I work in an elementary school and i do a few different jobs. When i told my boss he was excited for me. Come to find out his daughter had the surgery done in September. He said Go for It!! Frankly, i don't care what anyone thinks. This is what will be good for me. I too have had alot of support from my co workers. Of course you will have that one or two who will have everything negative to say. YOur doing what you feel is best for you! Cathy