Soooo here it is......

I tried to start last week...restart really... I'm so angry with myself that I started at 376 (originally 410) and got to 216 lbs...then here I am four years later: broken relationships half friendships ruined reputation issues with alcohol and other things and weighing at 270... I'm like a lifetime special. I decided to go back to college last year and TRY to make something of myself...finish my undergrad degree. So that I can move on to my masters and stop floating through my 30's without any sight of a future. I am so far removed from my surgery its like it never happened... I would LOVE to find a way to stick to an eating and workout program to get under 200lbs. I KNOW somewhere I can find the determination to stick to this... I want to gain control over mylife like I never have before...but I blow it so easily.

Darlin, you are not the only one strugglin! There are days that I feel like I am watching an episode of the Real World, or something, and I shudder at how awful it seems. Everyone says this surgery is a tool, and unfortunately, I think I broke mine. I haven't had terrible issues with regain yet, but my body is screaming at me lately as I can only keep down primarily liquids. Everything else, and I do mean EVERYTHING, comes right back up. The best part is, I have actually GAINED weight! I feel like I am fresh out of surgery again, and am severely lacking energy to do anything. My family doc has no clue how to help me, and my surgeon left practice 3 months after I had surgery. Bariatric docs don't want to take me on, as my surgeon left practice for malpractice reasons. As for relationships, most of them stink as people who I thought were my friends turned tail long ago. Kudos to you on pursuing your degree! It will definitely benefit you in the end. And never give up. Keep reminding yourself you are worth the good stuff, and hopefully everything will work out for you!

Hi Denise, You are not alone!!! Most of us are struggling with some kind of issues. And you can do this! I think we can both overcome this thing!!! On the days it seems too overwhelming, I give myself grace and start over right away the next day. I struggle with some of the same issues...believe me. You have a beautiful smile! Mae

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, havent had a chance to get to this board for a while. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, but I want you to know you are not alone. If I can offer you advice (basically what is working for me right now), stop the negative thoughts! Let that be your first exercise. Treat yourself like you are your best friend; would you ever say these things to someone you cared about? Focus on the good you are doing. 1)you are still down 100lbs. That's a lot of weight. 2) You've recognized your errors, but it is in the past. Don't let it ruin your future.3)You're already looking for ways to better yourself. Be proud of that! So remember, positive words lead to positive actions. When negative thoughts take over, stop it right away. Think of something good. I know it sounds like I might be minimizing things, but it really is working for me right now. and I don't know what your spiritual life is, but for me it's about relinquishing control to a higher power. Every moment is another moment to make a better decision! Wishing you well, Rachel