My wife doesn't love cripples

After being together for 5 years, and being married for 2 years my wife has told me she fell out of love with me. She is a very physically active person who just can't imagine spending the rest of her life with someone who needs to use a wheelchair from time to time. My heart is broken. She moved out, after I told her to go . . .she said she wanted to leave. I'm not a consolation prize. I'm the same person I've always been, just a bit more complex. I should have known she was self-absorbed when I was losing weight after my RNY on 4/1/04 when she started getting jealous. Not of all the attention I was starting to get, but because I weighed less than her now. I bought myself a cat from a no-kill shelter and am giving myself a lot of patience and mercy right now. Ladies/Gents, can you remind me that I will survive? Can you remind me why anyone bothers to fall in love? Sorry that it seems I'm only here when the worst is happening. When I need support I come running back to my beloved fatties. With healing wishes for all, ~Lara Lap RNY 4-1-04 450+/@goal and maintaining for 3 years

Oh Lara!! First, let me give you a big ol supportive hug! I remember when you and yours got married, how happy you were...the pictures, the posts, everything...I am so sorry that this has happened to you and that you have grown apart. Our WLS brings out the best in us, and unfortunately, the worst in others. Sometimes, there is a high price for our health, whether it be financial, physical, mental, or emotional. You have excelled in your journey, and should be proud of your accomplishments! Please do not allow one's fading love for you affect your love for YOUSELF!!! You are beautiful inside and out. Don't be discouraged in yourself, others, or the world in general. It WILL get better. Consider this, as hard as it may be, as a stepping stone in your quest for the PERFECT life you so richly deserve. As for falling back on your fatties, bring it girlfriend...we are here for ya... Love, Janice

Dear Janice,

Thank you so very much for your words of support and encouragement.  They came at a time where I was really down.  I'm working on an update post - and an invitation for all to do the same. 

Thank you again. . .Your love made a difference.  Everyone's replies made a difference to me. 

The sun has come out, it must be tomorrow right? 
Love,
~Lara

Lara, I'm so sorry to here about your loss. I just happened to get on the board to see if I could find a surgeon in KY. I'm having stomach problems. Hang in there, be good to yourself, you deserve it. Dianne

Dianne, I don't know where you are in Ky, but if you're anywhere close to Louisville, check into a consult with Dr. Jorge Rodriguez. He was my surgeon and I, along with any other patient of his I've had conversation with, just love him. His phone number is 502-583-8303 if you would like to call and set up an appointment. I don't think you would be disappointed. Anne6856

Lara ~~ here's a big hug... I'm sorry you're having to go through this... Doesn't it just make you wonder what some people are thinking? You are strong and even though it hurts really bad now ~ you will pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get through this. I've always loved Scarlett's philosophy of "tomorrow is a new day and I'll think of it then" Start each day as a new day ~~ you are worthy of live and love ~~ start with yourself and someday, somewhere, someone else will see that in you also. But for now, get lots of rest, love yourself and be strong. We are here for you..... Hugs Janie

Lara, I dont know if you remember...but I do believe years ago..you and I spoke on here when I was about to get my surgery...I was the end of april 2004 I too had a partner at that time and had since parted ways... I just wanted to say that...I am very sorry for your loss its a terrible thing when people who we love...part from us. Especially when its something like this. But my point is...you WILL survive this...it is her issue that she is not adult enough to be confident with herself...but that she feels the need to keep you locked away in a box. Please know you are in my thoughts now... Regards, Denise

Thank you very much Denise.


Time heals right?  I've been giving myself time and space just to grieve.  Between losing mom and my marriage crumbling it's been a banner year.  *Sigh*

My decision to adopt a cat was one of my best brainchildren ever.  Butters is the light of my life, and I knew my marriage was over when I'd rather scoop another lifeforms crap than deal with my ex-wife's.  My friends have been amazing.  I've lost the bounce lbs that the stress of living with her added to my frame.  My eating has improved again, and I'm feeling well - even if in pain from my back. 

I'm still all me - and I continue to survive and I'm working on thriving.  Is it weird that I'm kind of excited to see what dating and meeting people is like at my current weight?  I've not really put myself out there just yet - I'm still a bit too emotionally fragile. In its proper time, I'll find out. 

Wishing you well,
~Lara