I've lost about 130 lbs since surgery and have been going up and down since May...and I have about 200 more to lose...so yes I feel like a failure. I plan on having hernia repair next summer and while I wanted to be at a lower weight, I think I am just going to go ahead and do it...since I don't know if I will ever get to a lower weight.

I think maybe that this is normal at this point because alot of us were told at 18 mo's out that we would be "done" loosing. My body went through a strange thing, I didn't loose much weight from christmas last year until this summer. Maybe a couple of pounds, since then I've lost again. I think that we are just in that mind set that we are done and if we haven't lost everything we wanted to loose, or decided later that we wanted to loose that we are "failing". I weigh like 135 now on good days. 128-141 I bounce around inbetween those figures. I try not to weigh myself much anymore becausw I still have this mentality that I need to loose... I think I will still have that mindset at 110 and look like a crackhead. Because I don't look very pretty even at 128. I know when I start going low that I need to try and put on a few pounds but my head tells me I'm being a pig and going to gain everything back and cheating. I didn't eat any sugar for the first 16 months, slowly the last few months I've been eating some sugar. My head tells me for that reason I'm going to end up back where I was also. But the difference now is that I eat much much smaller portions. I eat more times throughout the day. I eat and enjoy much healthier food. I do endulge now and then in something sweet but for the most part my diet is pretty good. Some days it scares me how little I'm able to eat and keep down and other days its how much I can eat. I don't know, I try not to analyze it too much, just keep an eye on things, stay healthy, stay in tune to my body because it tells me when I need more vitamins/water, etc. I don't think I'll ever be happy because I have a horrible self image problem. Or maybe a correct one... I don't know... But I'm happy when I don't think about it and just try to live my life to the fullest, which it certainly is right now.

I had my surgery april 2003. I lost all my weight, 120 pounds. Now i do feel like a failure since haloween. even though i lost my weight with haloween and going to my class reunion, etc., i gained about 4 pounds and i cannot get it off. i exercise daily. i feel like i'm eating too much and the other night someone mentioned to me it looks like i eat more than i used to. last year this time of year i did not find difficult but this year i do. melanie

KAREN! Congrats! I'm so happy for you! I miss our emails but life is so busy for us now. I wish you all the happiness in the world. You deserve it! Hugs; Barbara in Missouri

Does anyone know if they will pay for any ot the re-constructive surgery I have alot of skin to have removed since losing all of this weight so fast in the last 18 months. Thanks in advance for any help! Tammy