I called my Dr's office yesterday and my surgery date is March 5th! I can't wait.

Hi, Lurking here from the March 2007 board, it's knda dead in there so I thought I would see how this year's Marchers are doing. I agree with the gentleman that said something about not worrying about what others think. This surgery is for YOU!!! I spent way to many years of my life trying to make other people happy at the expense of myself. This is your time, if people don't get it oh well. To tell you the truth some of the people in your life now may not be there a year from now. They may not be able to handle all of the changes you will be going through. Oh well, you can't "fix" them, you can only work on yourself. Don't let anyone make this decision for you. You deserve the best life has to offer, and if you want this surgery believe me it will be worth it all. The people who care about you will want the best for you too, educate those that want to understand. Tell them about this web-site, bring them to support group meetings, doctor's appointments ect. What ever it takes, you are the most important person right now. I would do this surgery over again in a heart beat. The people that don't understand or approve, some of them will come around later, some are plain jealous, and the rest might not understand. Be patient with them they don't have all the information you have. The cream will always rise to the top!!!! check out my profile if you want Hope I could help someone with my ramblings!!! Take care of yourself Christina

Jennifer, When I began my journey I was not telling anyone but my Husband and my Mother in Law (I have a wonderful relationship with her so it was natural for me to share with her). I have 3 Siblings as well as an adult neice and nephew. I did not tell them until after my first nut appointment. The reason I did not tell them is I was not sure what the reaction would be. I live 500+ miles from them (I am in Maine and they are in upstate New York) so I do not see them except for a couple of times a year. I then decided if this was something I felt I had to hide maybe it was not the right decission. Now I tell everyone. First I told my brother and he was really worried about it, next was one of my sisters and after I gave her some information she was OK with it. The last person I told was my oldest sister, I have gotten the feeling that she was disappointed in me for doing this. I have sense discussed her reaction with her husband and he settled me by pointing out that this is her way of dealing with the worry of the sugery complications. They are all supportive of my choice. It was not easy to tell them because obesity runs in my family and I am the youngest. I did not want them to think that I was passing judgement on them but I was making the best decission for me. Sorry this is so long but in closing I would say tell them so they have time to adjust to the fear and be ready to be there for you when you need them. Better that then not telling them and then something horrible happening and leaving them always wondering why you did not tell them.

Hi Jennifer, You can't make them get on board, but you can give them information and let them know that you have thought hard about this and made the decision, that you aren't asking for their approval, but their support. I have a friend that I am having a hard time with this over. He takes my concerns as a sign that I am not committed, when I think that being nervous about major surgery is rather normal. It's been frustrating. I have another friend that, in the words of 12 step programs is rather toxic. She was my eating buddy and has a hard time with the notion that I don't want to eat all the time and she can't get the picture that having ice cream around isn't okay. Ugh. On the other hand, one of the guys I date is totally against the surgery, thinks I look fine, and yet will take me out to eat on the schedule I need to be on and asks why what I am eating is a good choice and then remembers the next time we go out. My surgeon's office has a great booklet that is really designed for new patients, but I sent a copy of that to my mom who was really worried. The facts, the information about the surgeon's record, and so on really helped her to see that it's not the easy way out, but it is the way I need to go to live a goodly long time. All you can do is tell people what you are doing and ask for their support. Beyond that, you have to see what they will do. We aren't all going to agree on what our friends do all the time. Please let us know how it goes. I'll be pulling for you! Janice

Jason, That is great news!! I won't get a date until much closer. I have the final consult with my surgeon on February 26 and after that they schedule the surgery.