Scared :o/

So, this is my first time actually posting on the website. I have enjoyed reading everything on the website for a couple months now, so I figured I would jump right in. I am scheduled to have RNY on March 25th at Fountain Valley Hospital with Dr. Mir Ali. I was so excited a month ago and now I am feeling very apprehensive. I am not sure I want to do it. Do I really want this major life change? Do I want to give up food? There are a lot of things going through my mind right now. I drive by Carl's Jr everyday and just think... do I really want to say goodbye to you? That is crazy... right?

I think its normal, it is like giving up a "old friend" but one that has caused a lot of pain and unhealthly things in most of our lives. My surgery is for March 10, 2008 and I am so ready to start a new part of my life that will be different but fuller and much more healthy. I want to be around to see my grandchildren and thats worth more than the food. Not easy and if you feel really nervous talk to your doctor, I did that yesterday and asked some really small things that were bothering me and it was great- put me at ease a bit. Only 3 more sleeps. Jen

Wow - I think if all of us were honest with ourselves we'd have to admit to some fear. Committing to surgery is a definite life change, it will alter many of the things that we have become comfortable with. But....it will also give a new leash on life, the things that I have been so looking forward to will be in my reach as a result of surgery. Keep reaching out for support. Trust yourself and your decisions, you wouldn't have begun the journey if you didn't want to make some major changes in your life. Blessings... Becky

I am 3 1/2 weeks post op and I understand completely what you are going through. I actually called my surgeon's office 5 days before my surgery date to cancel. Luckily I had someone on the other end of the phone who had the surgery 9 years ago and she reminded me of all I had been through the past year to get to this point. The monthly visits to the dietian for a year, and all the tests. She told me I had already proved a commitment to myself and why would I want to give that up now. She also gave my phone number to someone who was post-op and when she called me I asked her if she felt like a normal person now and she replied "sure i do". She said it takes some time, but now she can eat almost anywhere, just much smaller portions than she use to. She really doesnt feel left out of anything. She told me it was the best decision she ever made. Actually anyone I have talked to has said the same thing. Now 3 1/2 weeks out, i will say it has been one of the hardest challenges of my life. But now the pain is gone and just a memory and I am beginning to try some foods. They go down rather slow, it is a little hard to get use to but I am beginning to wear some clothes that I have had packed away for a very long time and I am loving that! It is a major life change but right now I really dont miss the food. I guess your whole perspective changes after surgery. Right now I am glad I found the courage to go through with it and I know that had I cancelled I would probably be kicking myself in the hiney right now wondering how much weight I could have lost by now. My advise to you is stick with it...you wanted this for yourself or you wouldnt have gone this far.

You sound incredibly normal to me. And this was the right place to come. Only you know the answer to your question about are you really wanting to do this. But you need to make a dispassionate decision about that and revisit all the decisions you've made along the way. I am only four days post op and still sore, but very happy. Although, the day after the surgery I experienced what is referred to on these boards as "buyer's remorse". I really REALLY wondered what the hell I had done to myself! It's normal and I am sure I will experience it again. My method of dealing with this is to write a "T" chart of advantages and disadvantages and see where it lay. There is no doubt that we are losing a dear friend who has comforted us and cared for us and been there when nobody else has been. That is something to mourn and deal with. What is your plan for that? But we are also gaining health and wellness and an opportunity for some things we were apparently ready to take on. What are your "things"? Are you still desiring them? What is your plan for that? I'm grateful that a friend forced me into counseling a couple months ago and that my counselor is aggressive in looking at these issues. Perhaps you have a significant other or friend you can sort these things out with too? Be gentle with yourself. Looking to take care of yourself is always right. Janice

You sound very normal..I look at like this..I do not want to live my life like this anymore...I want a heallthier me. I want to be here for my dd and be a good example of healthy eating and a healthy life. You can do this..come here for support and join a support group near you. Good luck. Hugs, Dori

will i would like to start by telling you that i have the same huspital same surgon only i am for march 17th...so love, this is it for me and i think i am as ready as am gona be...feel all you can feel now think and rethink ...but you know for me i think i am so ready i need to live my life i can not wast anymore...that's how i feel at 249lb and 5ft tall and 28 years old ....i am ready for my new life best luck