Nerves and All That

I was talking with a lady who has had wls within the past year and she said that prior to going in for the surgery, she wrote letters to all her children and to her husband in case she died on the table. WHOA, that's a possibility and taking it very seriously! It made me wonder if my fears and concerns aren't just understated. I worry about complications. I worry about not following directions well. I worry about being injured by surgery or a complication in such a way that my life is irretrievably and badly changed. And so on. But the worry of death is a remote one to me... it's a possibility with any surgery. AND if I don't have the surgery, I worry that I will die before I am 60. Worry I will never stop eating (whether for an afternoon or an entire season). I worry that I will have a wreck because some days I am very tired. I worry that I will have to replace my knees and my hips within the next five years. Neither list is a great deal except that with the surgery risk, I run the risk of becoming healthier too. I don't have oodles of hopes for that with the not having surgery, no matter if I did similar work without the surgery. What is your biggest worry? For surgery and in your life if you didn't have surgery?\ Janice

Hi Janice, I truly understand how you are feeling. When I got my date this Tuesday, I couldn't believe it. I got scared and excited all in one emotional swoop. I originally had no fear of anything happening to me on the table until my mom started acting weird about me having the surgery. She is nervous because of me almost dying twice in 2006 due to blood clots in my lungs and internal bleeding....so now she is worried I could die. But I believe in my heart, I would rather die trying to get healthy, then dying and not fighting for myself at all...and that has helped me realize I should not be afraid. Right now, I am still experiencing that elation of getting a surgery date, but once the first of March gets here, I know I will be an emotional mess and start questioning this choice.

Congrats on your date & welcome to March08 countdown ! wow... writing letters is kinda serious , as this surgery is a major one, but i am sure we all have the utmost confidence in our surgeons, nurses & hospital staff or we would have not have gotten this far. As many others say and i do believe, we will be fine, so long as we follow our new path to a very healthy changed lifestyle. JMHO (Just my Humble Opinion)

Thanks for the welcome. I am finding new forums around here everytime I look. It's simply amazing. I don't think I would have gone as far as to write letters to my family as that other person did, but I truly understand her fear. But I have the utmost confidence in my surgeon...but first I have it in God. So I have no worries at all.

Janice, I am 40 yrs old and I have 2 children and a great husband. If all goes well I will have Lapband surgery the first week of March. I am right there with you and worry about all that could happen with the surgery But I also worry about all that is certain to happen without the surgery. Diabetes, heart disease, stroke and so on. The surgery is a tool for us to take control of our lives and live longer and stronger with our families. My husband has suggested that we have a WILL put into place just in case and that really freaked me out. But that is his way to make sure everything is being taken care of. I have had 2 friends close to me have the surgery in the last 1 1/2 weeks and they both came through with flying colors. Be positive , listen to your Doctors and I wish you best of luck. Rita

I believe it is normal to have worries. There are some big risk that come with the surgery. But I feel that for me the risks I live with at my current weight are far worse than any the surgery brings. I was recently asked where I see myself in 5 years and I honestly said that if I do not have this surgery I believe I will be dead. Also I have a strong faith in God and that when my time is up I am outta here. Nothing I do can change that I will not go one second sooner or later than that time. But what I can control is the quality of the time I have and that is what I want to improve.

All that each of you has shared has gone through my mind. A bigger fear for me is happening... I mentioned to my older brother the other day that I have lost 15+ lbs and he subtly suggested that I was well on my way and maybe didn't need the surgery. I had a similar conversation with my mom. I know they both mean well, but I am not sure they realize how that sends my head spinning. If I could make it happen without the surgery, I would have done it long ago. I am in the process of sending and email to my family telling them why I made this decision and what they can do to help if they choose and what I don't need. I am also "putting my house in order." I am changing my life insurance so that my nephew with autism is the beneficiary. I have considered a basic will to at least name an executor. These things need to happen surgery or not, as I am single and what little i have does not need to go to the government.

Hi my surgery is March 3rd, and I am a bit nervous. But I think we have to remember there are risks with any surgery. I am trying to not make myself crazy by reading every post on here, but still am interested in all that is going on lol. I know if I don't have this surgery I might not be able to walk at some point without a knee replacement for both knees. Since I am too young for one right now that could be sometime. I want to be able to "live" my life.

Thank you all for your feedback. I have to admit I am nervous about the surgery risks, but at the same time I think that if I don't have this surgery, I'm guaranteed four others within two years. Which is the greater danger? My friend brings up all kinds of dire things.... so I just tell him what I know related to his comments and provide stories and my perspective. I don't feel the need to discuss my concerns with him because he is so negative. Haha, now he is telling me he thinks I am a pollyanna because I don't say I'm worried or wonder about some bad things. I just figure he says enough for both of us! Janice

Janice, The surgery is something you are doing for you self. You need to tell the people around you that they need to support you in your decision, provide information so they understand the process and explain that yes you can loose weight the old fashion weight but to be successful in the long term you need this extra tool. At the end of the day some of the folks around us will be there and support our decisions and some will try to sabotage us. We just need to stay strong and realize that this decision takes courage and commitment. Good Luck on your Journey and I can not wait to be on the loosers bench with you!!! Rita